My needs aren't getting met. Never have been. Applying Marriage Builders techniques just doesn't work when only one partner does it. I can't really satisfy his needs anyway, they're all individual needs, sports, work, porn/masturbation. The only ones I can do anything about are a clean house & an attractive spouse.<P>and I have NONE of mine met. He's told me that he can't help how I feel. He's told me that he really doesn't care what I do, as long as I don't have an affair.<P>So, why not? My requests for attention, for time, for help fall on deaf or angry ears... <P>It would be so nice to be held. It would be so nice to have someone tell me that I'm pretty, smart, a pleasure to be with. It would be so nice to be able to cry, to be able to laugh.<P>He'd never know. He doesn't pay enough attention to know the difference. Besides, then maybe I'd stop wanting it from him.<P>nice, huh?

Wow. That's just how I felt right before the affair started.<P>

Yup, sounds nice. (being sarcastic!) It doesn't matter how bad the marriage gets, an affair NEVER solves the problem. It might make you feel good for awhile, to be petted and treated nicely but eventually you would be back at square one, the same problems in the marriage and the affair causing more problems and not taking care of your needs any more. Maybe it's time to take care of the marriage first, whichever way you want to work at it. If your communicating your needs to him and he's blowing you off then you probably need more help at better communication. Either way, the idea of an affair doesn't take care of the problem, take care of the marriage first and then go on.<BR>God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

but I HAVE been working at it. Alone. For two years!!<P>If there's a compromise to be made, I make it. If there's a sacrifice to be made, I make it. If there's a need to go unmet, it's mine.<P>I've done all the reading, I've done all the counseling, all by myself. All I CAN do is stop wanting anything from him.