Anyone else ever been there?

Last night I was talking to my WW about how differently the kids have been acting since she moved back downstairs. They've completely changed their demeanor, are rowdier, don't listen (even to me) and are hard to get to bed at night.

She passed it off and blamed it on the time change. I told her that it was a lie and that not telling the kids what was going on was just as much a lie.

I told her I felt that she was holding out for the OM despite NC with him. She sent him an email after he got my letter telling him that she wouldn't contact him again until after the D. That alone tells me she knows what she's doing is wrong but is waiting for him.

So, after bringin all this up she started doing what she does best and that's to clam up. She said nothing, which just writting that right now pisses me off to no end.

I went to bed and was almost turning purple I was so mad. I questioned my love for her, I stated that I've grown to hate and resent her, I questioned God about whether or not he even cared for this ******* family anymore. I completely lost it.

I still haven't gotten over it either. Has anyone else been here? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


FN

Yes, 4 years ago. Next question?

FN

What can we do to help?

Pep

I know I sound like a whiney little child, but I feel like I'm losing the last thing I had to hold onto. My faith.


FN

BTW


years ago ... when I was freshly wounded
I spent a few hours alone in my closet ... sitting on the floor with the door closed having a major pyssing contest with God ... God won by the way <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

EVERYONE questions their faith ... everyone ... it is not always easy to lean on something like faith when what one really wants to do it go after a wall with a sledge hammer!

I don't think I've ever cussed at God before in my life. As soon as I said it I was almost waiting for the lightening bolt <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Sorry, it's just been one of those weeks. It'll pass.


FN

FN,

Perhaps God is telling you that if everything was well now, it would again fall apart due to a false recovery.

Perhaps God is telling you that while the truth is in your eyes, mind and heart, it just isn't there yet for your WW at this moment.

We all know how you are feeling, but please don't give up on the big guy. He does work in mysterious ways.

It's OK

God the father .... just think of it like that ... all children yell at their parent ~eventually~

Your wife is the one with some s'plainin' to do ... when she gets 'there' ... and she will get 'there' ... but her road is much more dangerous than yours...

Give yourself a hug and tell God you are not sorry you yelled ... just sorry you did not believe it was OK to yell

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

make sense?
NO?

well, on a day as nutz-o as today ... ask me if I care if I make sense ... LOL

Oh, we're nowhere near recovery anymore. She changed her mind and moved downstairs. And I have absolutely no doubts that my WW is not there yet. THAT is what I'm pissed about.

That she won't pull her head out of her rectal-housing-group long enough to wake up.


Z

keep posting

Oh I am. I think I actually trippled my post count today.

And yeah, I never yelled at God before last night either. Had I ever yelled at my parents I would have been in traction <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


FN

What is it I heard Joyce Myers say one time ....

I'm gonna mess this up ... but it was sompin like

steel must go through fire to make it strong

welcome to the fire

You can yell at me if you like <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

go ahead

I have 2 teenagers ... nothing gets beyond my protective shield anyways

I like JM a lot. That's one wise woman.


FN

I can take JM in small doses ... mostly coz she has the energy of 3 people and she exhausts me

I can see that. I feel the same way about Marilyn Hickey. She reminds me so much of Mother Goose.

Great ministry, but definately NOT my flavor. I studied under the Haggin's for three years out in Tulsa, THAT family can preach <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I miss Papa Haggin <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


FN

Oakies

Not me! I just went to school there <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

My poor DD was born there and thinks she has to make my life a living ****** every year during the UT/OU football game.

Bless her darling heart and stupid head <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


FN

"stupid head"

don'cha feel like an 8 year old when you type that?