My WH is an SA in denial, I am a co-dependent. We are married 9 years, in our 40's. He's been into porn, and is having an EA with a co-worker who is getting a divorce.

My WH asked me for a divorce in October 2005 to my utter shock. I found evidence of an EA shortly therafter, and in 2 months, I asked him to give her up or leave. He said that the EA meant nothing to him, but he left anyway, and I am broken hearted.

He still comes to church--alone--and sits in the back. GOes to men's outings with the church--just sports--no BIble studies. He has counseled with Pastor who was tough on him, but he doesn't listen. Everyone at church is baffled by this as we were leaders in our church. His firends have spoken to him and chastised him, but he won't budge. THey know about the EA, but not the porn, I don't think. IT's very tough on me to be there with him. IT's even toufher when he's not there and I wonder where he is.

SHould I go to PLan B and leave my church? OUCH that would hurt--I have so many friends there. I pray every day, and God has been so faithful to lead me, but I have my moments of pain, doubt and confusion.

I know I can't change him, only God can, and I believe He will. I just hope that my WH doesn't end the marriage before that happens.

Thank you for your prayers. You are a blessing to everyone!

Dancer

dancer,

My prayers to you. Sorry you are here, but welcome to MB.

Sorry this has to be real short. If you are getting feed at your church and you are serving in the church you have reasons to stay. If however, the church is not protecting you from the hurt being caused by your H, then the church (the pastor) isn't doing his job as your shepherd. There are Biblical grounds for the church to ask youf H not to come. However, there are also Biblical proceedures the church needs to follow in order to do that.

THe bottom line is: Are you serving in, being feed and protected by this church? If all three of these things are not met then you may consider another church. And, is this where God has called you to be.

Read up on everything here and get the books Surviving An Affair, Torn Asunder and His Needs Her Needs.

Again sorry so short.

Blessing to you.

S&C