This is my first time to post. I've been looking at the board since finding out the news. I'm a SAHM married for almost 15 years to my college sweetheart with two preschoolers. We're both Christians with a marriage that has definitely been much more good than bad. We've gone thru ups and downs with his long education/career path but I've always been supportive. After we were married I found out about things in his past that I believe have contributed to our current problem. He was sexually abused and exposed to porn at a very young age. Our first problem was Internet porn, he stopped after we discussed it but then years later he started again. Six years ago he started back, we discussed it and he mentioned getting in a chat rooom. He stopped again. I never found anymore evidence of it. I would ask if he was being "good" when I was away. He would say he just wasn't in to it anymore. Fast forward to now, 6 years after the chat room, bouts of depression on his part, a couple of years out of med school, two kids and in medical residency...I find out he has gone through periods of entering chat rooms when I would be out of town. This led to 4 one night stands in 6 years with no contact after the fact. Also a lot of email exchanges with the excitment being the talking and the planning but never excecuting.He has been very open and honest about what all happened. There was never any long term emotional connections. It does seem to very much just be about wanting something differently sexually. I'm the first to admit our sex life was lacking. We both still love each other and want this to work. I think we've made great progress in improving our communication re: sex and him also realizing his addiction. He has done everything I've asked of him, is very remorseful and we'll be starting counseling in two weeks. I guess I just wonder if I'm crazy to be so forgiving. The first week we went through all the pain of hashing it all out, trying to figure where we failed and now we already seem to be rebuilding. We've even been intimate and it was actually great. We've both expressed that it seems like we are getting the chance to start over. I just wonder if this is unusual to come so far so fast. I think the fact that he was not in love with someone must make it easier. Of course now I wonder if our real sex life can be as exciting as his pretend one. From our discussions the talking was more fulfilling than the 4 encounters due to the guilt/shame. Has anyone experienced a similar type of affair and been able to succeed??
