Just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. Please let us know...

Jennifer

Jennifer, I have read some posts today, but I focused on spending time with my family, my H in particular. I am taking some good advice and trying to "be still and listen." Mostly, this weekend I found myself beginning to conquer a major withdrawal barrier. Time with my H began reminding me of how he has remained committed to me and the children, regardless of how difficult times have been.

Let me share because I feel as though I need to brag on my H, after spending so long tearing him down. When I was pregnant with the OC, I was in a bad car accident and placed on hospitalized bed rest for three weeks before I had her seven weeks early. My H worked, took care of our other two children and still brought them by each and every night to the hospital to see me so I wouldn't get depressed. How could I have missed the precious thing right in front of my eyes?? That is all especially poignant because she was the OC. But my H loves her with all of his heart.

To those who are in A or are recovering, please don't trade in the stability right in front of you for the excitement of something new. Worse, not only have I hurt my H; I have hurt a woman who didn't deserve it. If I had cared about my "friend" (the OM) the way I claimed to, I would have told him to work on his M.

Now, the OM and I brought a child into this mess who is an innocent. I hope now that the OM concern for her will help him see even more clearly that the best thing for the OC is to be raised with my H and I.

Hurt, all around, that was unavoidable.

What's the name of that song? "I can see clearly now the rain is gone!" I believe that you are getting a clearer vision every day. I am SO happy that you have spent this time with your H and are becoming aware of all that he HAS done for you! Keep those eyes open as well as your heart and the xom will be NOTHING but a memory that isn't worth your time spent dwelling on. When you are up to it, please keep us updated on your surgery and such, we all will be praying for you. Keep up the good work, and don't forget that it's not easy, but it's definately worth it!

sfjaj,

Did you happen to see the thread I book marked for you on Dorry's thread? If not please look it up. I am sooo glad you are starting to see things a bit clearer. You are right, your H is very special and the more you realize it, the more you will find your life coming into balance. You probably don't realize it but your H feels you are pretty special too or he would not have endured what he has.

Often times love is right there in front of us and we miss it, because it does NOT look like the movies. It looks like a man bring his kids to see his injured W. It looks like a man taking care of things and being willing to accept a terrible show of disrespect to him. It looks like a woman becoming honest with her H when she is hurt so bad and so afraid.

sfjaj, your perspective is changing and it will change sooo much more. That is what everyone was trying to tell you and show you. It is not about judgement, it is about perspective. Think about it.

It is good to hear you are doing better and spending time with your H. Time is valuable don't waste it.

God Bless,

JL

SFJAJ-- I am so happy you are seeing things more clear now.
I know how you felt when you thought everyone was attacking you here. I was extremely defensive at the beginning too, and I tried my best to defend myself, just like you. Just try to work in your marriage, and be good to your husband and children. YOur husband sounds like a gem, a keeper, be glad he is there with YOU. He must adore you, to accept the OC like his own.

Take care

Myrta

Sfjaj, I'm so glad that you and your H are enjoying some time together. You have something very special, there. Keep posting here, and let the recovering begin! You're on your way, S!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Take Care...

Jennifer