First of all Hello to the GQII, I have posted on "Just Found Out", so if you want preceding info, you'll need to go there under "Any Sound Advice".
My FWH and I attended out first counseling session last night. I think it went okay considering that my FWH is not the counseling type. He is a very shut down, defensive person and the change I have seen in the past few days amazes me. I am a little wary of this new found openess from him (ie What's the catch?), but that's just the trust issue talking.
We went out togehter afterwards, and it went okay aside from my little "bender thoughts". I call them bender thoughts because they bend my perception. Like when the A was going on, everytime he left my side in Wal Mart of the Mall, he was texting her, so naturally when he left my side even for a second last night, here comes a bender. I refuse to be bent. I am determined to put this behind us and move on without resentment. It's amazing to hear myself say that. I think that if I had not found this website when I did, I would not have that perception, in fact I would probably be alone right now. Reading the basic concepts really help me to understand what happened and in turn helps me to fix it. I can believe my husband when he says it wasn't about sex now. Which in a way the fact that the affair was emotional and physical is both releiving and disturbing to me. It is relieving to me because, if it was just physical then we'd probably be looking at a sexual addiction, which I am not going to lie, I do not have the fortitude to deal with. It's disturbing because it hurts to know that someone else was his confidant, his emotional support.
Over the past few days I have stopped tormenting myself with the proof several times a day. I still look at it, but not as often and it does not evoke the same kind of response anymore. I feel like I am slowly letting go of that. Which is good...gold star for me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Anyway, I just have an overall positive outlook here. If the A had never happened, we wouldn't have gotten the wake up call we needed to get our marriage back on the right track. We wouldn't have realized how much we had neglected each other. Our love banks had been overdrawn for a while now, and i am just glad we caught it before we wound up hurting each other beyond repair.
Once again, thanks for the support, it is nice to come here and read that others are feeling the same way and get the great advice you all have to offer. It makes this so much easier to cope with. [color:"purple"] [/color]
