I am going to share with you guys who are still struggling and having lots of pain to deal with.

Tonight i met my exh at the movies. He took daughter to watch iceage2 while i went myself to watch Inside man.

It was a great movie by the way. I recommend it.

Now back to my story.

We took my car to go to Mcdonalds after the movie.

While driving...OW called his Hp. From the conversation i knew that she was asking him some very tense questions which he was avoiding. I could feel the spark of an arguement brewing in the distance. ExH was unable to say much because of me in the car so i stopby the roadside. Using hand signal i told him, he should talk outside which he did and was grateful of.

2 and a half years ago like you...i would NEVER have been able to do that.

I did not feel any anger or jealousy at ALL. Not even a hint of that agony sharp pain in the chest. In fact secretly i was enjoying the fact that this is happening to OW and seeing exH having a ****** of a time arguing with OW. I know it is an evil thought but i still could not help myself. Its like sweet revenge.

I felt sympathy for exH who is going through some tough time with OW. Now OW is jealous of ME!!! The more OW demand...the more he gets anonyed with OW. That is the effect of playing the same game like OW. This is the game all of you should be playing...Be MUCH better than OP..be MORE patient, be MORE loving and be MORE forgiving. Most important stop all the expectations. The less angry you are, the less bitter, the less resentment and the more attractive you look compared to OP. Do this and you will win the battle.

My exH is pretty close to getting out of the fog. Not yet but pretty close. They say it will take about 2 years for the bubble to burst. I think its true. For those of you just starting the rollercoaster ride...hang on tight. Its just begining. There will be lots of false hope but dont give up.

Trust me. I have been there. I know the feeling. There is hope...its big and its bright. Its all a game. Fight OP by showing MORE love and forgiveness to your wayward spouse that is the trick to making plan A and plan B successful.

If i wanted to play the game of winning him back, i could but i would not. Maybe oneday i might actually post back here and say yipee after 5 years we remarry...maybe...i dont know...it could still happen but i am not waiting.

I have moved on. No more pain just happy again.

There is hope for your marriage no matter how dark it feels to you today.

Even if your marriage fails...you will survive. The pain will pass. Time is on your side. Play it well and you will win the battle.

Remember this is just a journey...its not forever and always remember take the higher road.

Zizzy,

Good for you! I know exactly what you mean. Beacuse I didn't really know what was going on (FWH's A) until after it ended, it was actually easier for me to not LB. OW was always jealous of me, long before the affair started and more and more so during the affair.

She used to questions him over and over about what we did together etc., she would shreek at FWH about things like us having dinner parties and attending family events together. She actually started to see herself as the BW and me as the OW. Over just a few months, she LB'd him right out of the affair.

Who

Right on Zizzy!

Zizzy
Good for you, kinda gives me hope im in the begining stages of my WW moving out its been really hard on me and our kids
and stories like yours give me hope for my recovery.

did you move on as well, find someone else? if i may ask

Saenz
Yes i did move on and found someone else. That also comes with its own set of problems. At the beginning its all nice and warm then later you realise its not much different from your previous marriage

You see...the problem lies within us. Our WS would never have had the affair if betrayed spouse had been more loving and forgiving. As for me...i had lots of resentment, a pile of expectation and communcation problem which i didnt realise earlier.

First you have those resentment and disatisfaction then the affair added more fuel. So it was tough seeing through all those pain. I thought hubby was not a great guy in first place and later he betrays me too. Its like you married a monster so forgiving was not easy. I thought much easier just to let it go and find another. It was only later that i realise the fault lies mostly in me.

Now i think exh is a great guy. He makes a good husband and a good father. OW is lucky to have him but at the moment i dont think she is seeing that. Its strange how expectations can kill fun out of a relationship.

Thats why part of plan B is to let wayward spouse go to OP. Its hard on BS but it works. OP will start to have expectation and this is what will eventually kill their relationship.

I think most waywards and other person are good people. They realise their mistakes too. Maybe not now but eventually.

Whome, i am glad yours work out fine.

If i had more patience and understanding it would probably work out fine with me too.

Latest update, exh dropped by the house last night and ask me why was there a sudden increase of communication from me lately. I was a little surprise with that remark coz i thought it was HIM that was dropping by the house more often then he should be.

I asked him why he asked. He told me that OW was giving him *** for the whole week because she feels threatened with my calls to him and how he has been going by the house everyday.

I explain to exh that OW is feeling exactly what i felt back during the affair. I told him it is only natural. Advice exh to work it out with OW by getting her to trust him more.

OW disagree with the frequent drop bys but exh explained he got nothing to do at his apartment especially when OW is not around most times. OW is not around because she still stays with parents and they disagree with this relationship big time.

To top it off, some girlfriend of OW saw daughter, exh and me having lunch the other day at the restaurant. Guess that poke more fire into the situation.

When i think about it...i could not help smilling.

I even offered to reduce my calls to him if it would help them and exh said no...just let it be. I have to admit that i did call him just a little more than often to talk about work and daughter...its an excuse coz i was feeling a little down since separating from bf...i just wanted some kind of male companion i guess...nothing to it. Exh has always been a good listener and supporter.

Exh also confided with me that he actually broke off with OW twice because of their situation with her parents and all. 2 years ago i would have jumped for joy at this news...Poor fella. I think he is really stress out over at that end.

I just kept on being his best friend...listen to his problems and try to help as i can. I genuinely try to help exh and there is no revenge in my heart. I told him to communicate with her and try to solve the conflict before it becomes a major resentment to OW.

This is definately some strange happening in my life now.