I posted my story in an earlier post. Dday was Jan 23, 2006. Married 22 years - 2 children 12 y/o b and 18 y/o g.
After 2 1/2 months of counseling my WW finally said she doesn't love me anymore. I have tried to explain to her that her feelings are normal for someone coming out of an affair but she won't listen or read for that matter. I told her "Surviving an affair" was probably the best book I had read as far as what she is feeling right now. Last weekend she went to stay at her female friend's house and came home Monday night. She left again on Wednesday night back to her friends house.This weekend my son and I went fishing with my parents and she came home while we were gone. I told her I was willing to be patient and let these feelings run their course. I even had a session with JH and she said continue doing what I am doing and stay away from LB's. I am trying but should I keep letting her come and go as she pleases?

uh no. Doormatness gets really tiresome. There has to at some point be some boundaries for YOUR sake.

You see.. my H let me do that. Let things run its course. I came and went .. came and went.. and tore him to shreads. He lost so much respect for himself that he (in his words) became "dead". The affair runs its course ANYWAY.. but I wouldnt tolerate flightyness. Especially for the kids sake. They were so tore up everytime I came and went. and that time frame was only about a month or 6 weeks. To this day..he has no respect for himself.. yet.. now I am his whipping post for his anger and resentment.

I am not licensed LOL.. just thoughts.

footprints

If you read SAA then you know the Dr. W. Harley says that most A's run theirs course in about 2 yrs. You can plan A for a few months or until your lovebank is low and your remaining love for your wife is threatened. Then you can plan B. You should try to wait at least 2 yrs before calling it quits. Your call. You should see a lawyer to see where you stand with your legal rights in your state.

My H told me that same thing. We have been happily recovered for a few yrs now...knock on wood.

My problem now is that I think she has more than one partner and is just "sowing her oats". Everytime I pin it down to a particular person then a different appears on the scene. I just listened to her voice mail from the weekend with her female friend and I could hear the female friend's ex husband having quite a time. He even said something about marks on her boobies.
This morning my WW went into a different bathroom and locked the door to change clothes. I am wondering if I should make her let me see her breasts. I have a feeling there are hicky's on them. We have not had sex for over three weeks now and I have not seen her change clothes but this morning she definitely didn't want me to see her changing.

If you pay good money for advice, why not follow that advice?

How long ago was your convo with JH?

[color:"red"] I am wondering if I should make her let me see her breasts. I have a feeling there are hicky's on them. [/color]

Making her expose her breast to you is a really dumb idea.... a love buster to be sure.

That's what I thought too. I am just frustrated over this whole thing. I am doing all the right things as far as EN and she knows I am checking up on her. She says she would have done the same thing if it were me.
My session with JH went 1 hour. I just sometimes feel I have run out of options.
The thing about waiting this out for 2 years is that I have been in Iraq for 18 months and been home for six months. That's 2 years of suffering I have already endured as well as my family being without me also. I feel sorry for myself a lot because I went overseas and sacrificed my life and this is what i come home to. Her emails while I was away actually kept me going. She knew how lonely I was over there and she gave me encouragement with her love emails.

not how long did you speak with her

how long ago did you speak to her

1 month?
1 week?

when was the last update with JH?

Sorry last Tuesday night

The one thing keeping my WW in our home is finances. She knows and so do I that both of us will not survive financially without the other.
She is willing to walk away with nothing also. She just wants to see my son for visitation. I told her I was willing to let him decide who he wanted to be with and his response was "Daddy I want to live with you" I asked him why would he say that since everyone around us knows he is a "momma's boy" and he said because I did athletic things with him and that mom was leaving us without trying to work on the marriage. It brought me to tears when he said that. It goes to show kids know more than we think they do. He is only 12.