Ok after almost ten months of all of this... I have finally found OW'S H... he lives about 40 miles from me and I have all the info.

I don't know what all he knows. He may know the whole truth and not care or he may be under the impression WH and I are divorced.

As everyone knows he and OW are still married but been seperated for almost 6 yrs. So should I or shouldn't I call him???


Hurting

I would call him for sure. However, I get the feeling that they are divorced but just haven't had the funds to finalize it. I mean, he isn't aware that your H lives with the OW in his house! And probably doesn't care either. But do call, ya never know what you will find.

Mel,

He is aware WH lives there. My kids where there on thanksgiving when he showed up to get his DD.

The thing i don't think he is aware of is WH is not divorced and also that our hormonal almost 16 yr old son lives with his 13 yr old DD.

Hurting

cool. Give the man a call!

oh good Lord

just as a fellow parent I believe this deserves at least a little friendly call

give OWH the 411 on the teenage live-ins...

I cannot imagine putting up with ~regular~ teenage antics then throwing 2 hormonally charged non-siblings together in an affair home

un-friggin-believable

I told ya...do it.

the father should be OUTRAGED at this immorality and the living arrangement.

we know the judge will be.

not good boundaries for hormonal teenager...one teen girl and one teen boy with just a thin wall separating each other from their raging hormones...and NOT RELATED..and living under same roof with TWO PARENTS WHO ARE MARRIED BUT NOT TO EACH OTHER...this is gonna fly so well in court? doncha think?

INJECT A BIT MORE TRUTH INTO THEIR UGLY FANTASY.

Healing ~ Call him

heck, I'll call him for you !!

How are you doing otherwise ??


Sending my very best wishes, car

Ok all calm down he is gonna get called.. i just found him today..... after looking for so long finally hit pay dirt .....

Your right he needs to know about the two kids living in the same home and how its a disater waiting to happen...

Thanks all for the input.... I just wanted to make sure i was doing the right thing...

Hurting

Informing a fellow parent of a potential land mine their child has wandered into is the ~right~ thing to do

however

you may get the brush off from OWH

expect very little in the way of a response from OWH

having said that .... sharing information between parents about potential danger

is the right thing to do even if you are the only one with functioning common sense <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Pep,

Your right i don't expect no help from him. After all they have been apart for some time now.

But the thing with his child is something he should as a parent be concerned about.

Hurting

(((((hurting))))))

Sometimes it is hard to expose when you don't have the info.

Now you do have the info.

Good.

Let this guy know. Do the right thing. Whatever happens after that, just happens. It has taken a long time for this information to come to you because your WS has not given you much info.

Same for me. Took me forever to find out where ow lived. I never did find out where her mother lived or to how to get ahold of her, or I would have exposed to her mom as ow was single. I was fortunate that the A ended before I exposed more on ow's side.

My FWS and ow held their cards very close to their chests.

However, every thing that is in darkness can NOT stand against the light.

You are worthy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />. You are doing whatever you can to save the marriage and expose the A.

Better late than never. It may work, it may not, but you will take comfort in knowing you did all you could to save your marriage and family.

Prayers for your son, for you, and DD. You are WORTHY. Just step back, as you have been doing, and do what is healthiest for you, and family. oh, and the marriage. Let the Lord do his work. Listen to Him.

God Bless you and keep you, oklahoma.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

At the very least, let OW's H know that both of Ws and OW are NOT t/b trusted, yet your children are in the middle of that chaos. Then ask him as a parent, do you feel your child is safe? If he says, yes....back off grab your son and run.

L.

Post deleted by LLG

I'm kind of shocked that the focus here is worrying that a 16 year old son and a 13 year old daughter of 2 cheating people will fool around.

IMO that should not be the reason for calling OWH. It would be to see where he stands on his marriage and let him know that you still want your husband. He has let his child live with these cheaters for a while now. He has to know that she has already been exposed to your kids.

Of course you are going to tell him your son now lives with them, but give the kid some credit. You are acting like he is going to hop in the sack with this 13 year old. Since his Dad and her Mom are "playing married" by living together the kids are probably thinking of each other as siblings, not lovers.

I totally agree for you to call OWH, but only to further expose the affair and see where he stands on the whole thing. Don't make your son out to be some kind of nymphomaniac!

JMHO of course!

Lost,

I am not trying to make out like my son will hop in the sack with this 13 yr old girl. I don't think he would do that. But with that said I want ot protect both of these children from being caught up in a bad situation.

I don't know much about her DD just what I have been told from other people. I have heard rumors and thats what they are is just rumors but they concern me greatly. I want to protect my son and even her daughter.

As far as OWH goes I don't expct much from him, seeing how they have been apart for such a long time the odds are he wo't give a hoot one way or another. He knows OW has let my WH move in with her. My own children have seen the man when he has come to pick his DD up. I have no clue what this man knows. He may not know WH is still married but I need to find out.

Hurting

best response yet

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I recommended for Hurting to basically GRAB HER SON when he first went over there....

It was not a popular recommendation....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

to lost in the city....nicely stating this.....grip time to be gotten!

HELLO EVERYBODY???? When you have AS ROLE MODELS two adults living in sin and DOING WHAT FEELS GOOD...what in the heck kind of MESSAGE DO YOU THINK THAT DRIVES HOME TO HORMONALLY CHALLENGED TEENS? i mean....IF THEY SEE THEIR PARENTS DOIN' IT.....AND THEY THINKIT'S OK...B/C THEIR PARENTS ARE DOIN IT.....THEN IT'S OK? That's the line of reasoning most teens use.

And WHY ON EARTH would the dd of the OW act or behave in any manner different than she was raised? I am sorry. I don't believe apples fall too far from trees.

Now hurting's son KNOWS right from wrong...but hey...he is living with dad now for imho, 2 reasons:
1)BECAUSE THE LIFESTYLE IS PERMISSIVE AT OW/DAD'S AND '
2)BECAUSE HE HAS ANXIETY ABOUT HIS DAD HAVING LEFT HOME...FEELS FORGOTTEN.

And take into the confusion and mix, seeing his dad sleep around with some strange HO and her dd, also a teen being a stone's throw away...and add into mix...PERMISSIVE LIFESTYLE...ANYTHING GOES over at that house and you got a recipe for disaster!

Hi Hurting-
Glad to hear you got some additional information.
Hard to know what OWH may already know, or not know, and
what his reaction will be, but can't hurt to find out.
Even if OWH already knows that your WH is living with his
WW, your DS being there is new and does warrant letting him
know.
I know you'll handle it well, as with everything else you've
done. Good luck !
Slammed

PS

Hurting

you're a class act