Hurtin',

Been thinkin' 'bout ya. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Let's see.....he doesn't want anyone to use your cell phone to call him.....sounds like someone should....all the time. LOL!!!

He doesn't want to see or speak to you? Think you should accmodate that request.

Same for son? Hm.... sounds like he is in the fog and you ought to go to plan B even for your son.

Can you do it?

Really hurting, you s/b more accmodating. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

orchid,

I am being accomodating. I am not seeing or speaking to him as he requested. I have been dark for 3 weeks now very dark in fact. In fact if I had known he was coming by here today I would have never been in sight even in the house.

As far as son goes its been pretty much dark with him as well, he won't answer my calls and when he does very short and to the point with him not my choice his.

Right now he really hates me thats for sure, every since OW found out the truth he has been nasty. Guess maybe it might be a permanate thing.... Oh well nothing I can do about it...


Hurting

Hey there, wish you felt better. Want to meet for some BBQ?

{huga}..... I mean your son.....don't even call. He's got to wonder what his mom is up to also. If you can, he is getting his foggy fix.

Now one has to wonder what's attraction is holding him captive there.....drugs, sex, freedom? All of those things are temporary and false sense of enjoyment.

Be patient.

L.

orchid,

I am trying to be patient with them both but I am running short on it about right now. I just want ot blast them both...

I want them to feel some of my pain and hurt. Will it ever happen????

Hurting

Yes, my dear.....it will happen. It's just a matter of when. That's why your patience is such an important tool. Each time you initate contact, you've weakened that tool and the A rages on.

Silence is golden. Hugz are precious. Give what is precious to those who are showing love to you and let the rest find the gold by your silence.

Aloha,
L.

Hey Hurting,

Hugs to ya! Hang in there, I understand how you feel, I was feeling that way towards my STBXWH a few days ago but it will pass. As for your son, I can only imagine the pain you must feel. This is some rollercoaster ride for sure.

Orchid,

Very wise words thank you....

pepsi,

I am hanging in there by a thread for now.... Things will get better just having a down day today..... You hang in there to...

Hurting

I will if you will <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

((( Healing )))

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

But, every time you come up to a hurdle ~~ you go over it and then some.. You will come out stronger on the other side..

Look how many hurdles you have jumped over already ?? Look at how good you have handled it ??

I know it hurts, I know it sucks ~~ but you are becoming so much stronger and a better person than the infidels are !! Now, you know this...

They are the ones in the mess ~~ not you !!!


Sending prayers your way today, dear....

car

Hurting I think your Plan B is working. You have been so dark that your WH needed to come by the house under the pretext of coming to get something. He can't stand not knowing what you are doing. Keep up the good work.

My personal opinion is I would NEVER Plan B my child. He may not be talking to you now, but he will need his Mom in time. This whole mess is not his fault. He is a victim. Stupid that he has chosen to live with his Dad, but still not his fault. JMO.

Hang in there. You are doing a great job!

Lost,

I don't know about planb working I just think he ame by becauser he knew his sister was here cutting trees again cleaning up his mess. He wanted to see what w as being done. Funny part is he left with nothing, I heard him tell her he would come back another time to get it all.

As far as son goes i am here for him and he knows that...
When DS was here this morning I thought he was staying the night. He went down to his grandmothers to see her and my DD just came home to tell me that his dad and OW just picked him up from there so he is not staying. He couold not even come down here and say goodbye to me. I just don't understand why he is being this way to me. His actions hurt worse almost than WH'S do.

Hurting

I know that must make you so sad about your son. Just know that you are a good Mom and he does love you. He is just going through a lot right now. He is a teenager and we all know how they can act. Hang in there...you won't lose your son. He will come home one day.

As far as WH...he will come back at a later date...of course he will. He wants to see what you are doing. Sounds like he misses home.

Lost,

I know you are right DS will one day seethe truth for what it is and come home.

I called my mom yesterday and was talking to her about this. She just kept saying BS let this work out on its own because you forcing DS to come home w ill just cause more problems as he will rebell even worse. Mom would know as she went through this with my brother when he bacame older after my parets divorce.

She said they both WH and DS are building sand castles but they will crumble in time i just have to be patient and wait. I do hope she is right. Especially for DS, I know his dad is allowing him freedoms and buying him things I simply can't afford. I also know he needs his dad and I understand this. I want him to have his dad but in the meantime he is pretending i don't exsist anymore and its really hurts.... Thye both pretend I don't exsist or ever meant anything to either one of them.

Hurting

Hey Hinok,

I read your posts and noticed:

1. WS came to 'get stuff' and left with nothing. Hm....

2. DS came but left to visit grandma and left again with nothing.

So what did they accomplish? They hurt you but they left with NOTHING!

Guess it's just what POV you choose to take. The one that allows the pain to cut the deepest is the one we often see first. From a BS POV though, I see a WS (who is still a WS btw) and the DS (who is learning how t/b a WS rebel child) walking away with NOTHING.

Now they get to go back to the den with NOTHING.

It is now VITAL that you react as NOTHING to the NOTHING they took back. What will this do? It will frustrate the WS and DS that YOU did not react to their NOTHING.

Why? Because u r worth EVERYTHING and their nothing isn't worth 1 tissue of tears. ok?

Hugz,
L.

Orchid ~ as one flower to another --

Great post !!!

Stay strong Healing ~ stay the course....

With you always, car

Hurting,

I am sorry to see you in the situation that you are in....
just know that you will come out of this 'on top'.... You are in my thoughts... Hang in there!

(((((((((((((HURTING))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks Ladies for the support and wise words.
As it turns out Orchid he dd leave with one thing. DD told me this morning he got a fishing pole that had been his fathers. I didn't know until she told me. But other than that it was I'll get the rest another time.

Your right DS left with nothing, as all of his stuff is still here but his clothes. thats was all he took with him when he left.

I do find it funny that WH only comes when his sister is here. I guess thats so he can keep himself from trying to interact with me. Then he can say to OW well my sister was there.

I am reacting to nothing. I have not tried to call DS and ask hi why he left like he dod or anything. I am going to let it ride and maybe he will see just what he is doing. I am leaving them both alone to live in this mess. I can't be in it anymore.....

Hurting

{{{hugz}}}}. I know these are hard times. Patience sucks doesn't it? But it is a necessity due to the aliens on board. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

There seems to be one hovering this neighborhood also (triwing's Ws? )..... I have to be on the look out for a fogged out WS.....that s/b easy to spot out here. Not any fog...only raindrops. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

orchid,

Yup being patient does suck, especially whn all you want to do is knock some sense into them....

Doing my best to stay patient though but its wearing thin.... Best to keep to myself when I feel like this so I don't loose it on someone....

Hurting