Well just after eight months from D-Day my divorce is final. Got the papers the other day. Long story short WW was cheating on me and the kids(DD9,DS8) for two months. Found out end of July and asked her to stop. Well anyways she would not stop but only to continue. Went to counseling together that didn't work. Went to IC and that worked for me at least. I filed for a D at the end of September to set boundaries in the M. Keep in mind that this whole time I was trying to work on myself/marriage. She wanted No part of any of it. Mid November she moved out to live with him. Hurt me a lot and the the kids but like every one says the kids are resilient. The kids have NO CHOICE that is what mom wants. Well we get an opting out agreement done up by our lawyers and she agrees on giving me everything including the kids Monday thru Friday and she gets them Friday after school and Sat.,Sun. must return to me on Sun. by 7:00 pm. The first weekend comes and it is lonely. But I get by. Then the holidays are painful and the kids are at a tug of war. Not on purpose but this what bad choices have on everybody. Even though the papers say these days we don't live word by word by them. Was I angry back then ,Yes I was. But the kids are the most important thing out there.
A few weeks ago for some unknown reason my anger exited my body and don't have it as strong as I use to. I feel a lot better. There are things you come to acknowledge that you can't change. One is you can not make someone do something they do not want to do. Trust me I tried and it just bit me. Second is anger, don't let it consume you it will eat you alive. That goes back to the first thing. Third do the best thing for the kids. It may make you feel empty inside or very lonely but I tell you this if the kids want to be with their mother I'll do everything in my power to make it happen. Even if it my day to be with them I'll make sure they see her or at least talk to her. I could very easily tell the kids that I don't know were she is or make some other excuse and be smug that I got over on the WW. But the only ones I hurt are the ones I love the must and that is my kids. Anyway getting back to the time line. Mid February my lawyer contacts me about finishing up the divorce. I told him lets wait awhile because I really don't feeling like doing something I never really wanted in the first place. He said okay I will hold off as long as I can. Well I get the finalized papers in the mail a couple days ago. Not happy in one way but relieved in another. Talked to the wife today about the kids because we do have to have these talks. I asked her if she got any paperwork from her lawyer and she replied no. I said, Well the divorce is final. I showed her the papers and she started to cry. I said you finally got what you wanted. She said nothing. I said know you can go and get married to him. She said, I don't think so. She then apologize for hurting me and the kids. I said well thanks for the apology but it does help a lot when you still continue the bad behavior. I was thinking I'll never understand a WW I guess until I become one. I hope it never happens to me. There is some good out of this but not much, mostly bad all the way around know matter how you look at this. Kids get to experience one of the worst things to go through because to adults can't fix the M. But, when its all about you then it does not matter how everybody else feels.