Anyone ever deal with this?
I blame my FWH for his sexual aversion, especially since its something that he has to fix and it is a result of the affair.
I haven't wanted to post about this for awhile because it's amazing how many people are so excited to post "Well I don't have that problem" and then more people will post "are you sure the affair is over?" Let's take an issue that I am already self conscious about and combine it with a huge trigger question, and poof, a subject to avoide has been formed.
I printed out Harley's sexual aversion information and recovery work for FWH and he is thrilled with the information because he feels normal and not a freak. Also, he knows that it happens in marraige and our marriage isn't a freak.
He has found a lot of comfort in the information because it describes his inability to relax.
I am confused because I never forced him to have sex, I have tried to not put pressure on him and I am frusterated because I have felt like being understanding has helped delay the solution.
On one hand I am thrilled that he is going to work on this aversion stuff, but on the other hand, I don't trust him that he will. I don't want my being understanding to be taken advantage of.
My sexuality was abandoned during the affair and now I have to be understanding some more? Oh enough.
I am afraid of this issue. If I am looking for an opportunity to make myself feel unloveable - and I do this, this issue is the perfect layup.
How can I trust that my husband is working on this issue? How can this issue become our issue? Cause right now I blame him for it and I am mad that my need for SF is not met.
Devil's Advocate: We're talking about this issue. I remind him, and he says thanks. We talk about wanting to try for a son - really just an excuse to have more children.
Still, I am barely hanging on. Maybe this belongs in another forum...
