My husband lied to me when he said he was willing to work on our issues. I moved clear accross the country with my family on that lie to get away from the OW. I left all my family and friends to be closer to his family so they would know what I have been living with. His addictions booze, pot, TV, Telephone, OW. He has told me he is unwilling to give up their friendship or any of the other stuff. He is just not ready and I can't force him. We are still very much married and I am trying to get his cheating, alcoholic head out of his [censored]! Just not in a controling way. Very hard to do. lol
The OW and he were friends for 8 years before the short affair I exposed in Dec. My problem now is he will not stop calling her. He refuses to go NC. I even called her a few times to beg her on her machine to stop taking his calls. She called him right away and played it all and said she was going to charge me with harrassement! I couldn't care less. I said go ahead.
I now realize this is bad obsessive controling behaviour on my part and I am working on my issues with or without him. The only thing is we have bills and we have to feed our two kids. Work is spotty in his home town and I am starting to feel the stress. I decided to go online and enter into his now seperate cell phone e.bill area.
He has changed his code on the phone so I can't access that way but he doesn't know I can see his history online. His bill is almost 400$!!! I am trying to accept he his calling her 3 and 4 times a day long distance on his cell phone and she is calling back but what about the money? He is taking food out of our mouths. The bill was up to March 22nd so not sure if it is continuing this month but my question is should I say anything? It will probably sound like love busters and is it really my business?
He is living with me and sleeping in my bed for the past two nights but doesn't really want to. He got into a fight with his mom and last night he stayed at his brothers as he was working with him early in the morning.
I have been very silent the past week as I wanted him to move back in for him to see that I am getting over my obsessive controling behaviour. I'm just having a hard time with the money these days. If I say something then he will know I was spying and that will really tick him off as basically I am the only willing participant right now taking any action. All he wants to do is work, get drunk and stoned and call the OW long distance.
If I don't think about this I feel okay but when I obsess about it I feel bad. I'd like to wait to see if the next month, this one, if the calls are any less but I fear I will explode one night. I am in my pms time. Can anyone talk me off the wall here? I'd appreciate some kind words. I'm feeling some self-pity here. I should go for some exercise and I'm sure that would make me feel better. Okay by for now. Thanks to those who read my vent. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
