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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 92
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 92 |
It will be 2 years ago next month that my W had moved out (we lived apart for 1 month). She had what I thought was 1 A during that time. Last March she told me there were 4. This past January she told me there had been 7. The last d-day I believe she was honest because our pastor was there and he told her about radical honesty.
We are in MC and moving forward. She met those men in a night club and doesn't know most of them, 2 only by name and 1 who she knew well, he lives about 15-20 kms away from us. He is a multi-millionaire and he is married, he knew my W was married and I had even ran into him a few times before I knew that he was OM.
I thought about calling him and sharing a few words with himbut figured that would be useless. Now I really want to call his wife and telling her what kind of a**hole her husband is and what he did. If she wanted a D, that would hurt him.
My question is: At what point should a BS not bother anymore trying to contact OP's S?
If I should, how do you suggest I should go about doing it, what should I say? If she doesn't know about it, she will be hurt very much and therefore I should be gentle.
Should I offer her a return contact incase she needs more info?
My FWW found OM's address and phone # in my wallet a while ago and took it out and tore it up, said it wouldn't solve anything calling him.
In the pasture of life, don't be a cowpie.
FWW 22
BS 26 (me)
d-day May 30, 2004
March, 2005
January, 23,2006
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892 |
beatndown,
Go contact the OMW but not the OM. You are suffering from the all too common malady of displacing your anger at your WW to the OM(or OMes). The mere evidence of 7 A's should tell you loud and clear that the other men had absolutely nothing to do with what happened to your M. Consider the OM as merely a life support system for an available p*nis.
Best of luck.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
The length of time it's advisable and necessary to contact an OP's spouse is proportional to how much money they have. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Do you have any hard evidence to share with Mr. Moneybag's wife? If not, maybe you ought to call him and claim you do and he'll have to kobe up to either you or his wife anyway. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> WAT ----------------- Kobe: To buy off a spouse after an adulterous affair is discovered: "He had to kobe up a $4 million diamond to pay for that one-night stand."
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
**snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Wait a minute, beatndown.
7 OMs, she's 21 and you're 26.
How long have you been married?
Any kids?
If no kids, why are you not cutting your losses with this woman-child?
WAT
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 92
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 92 |
To WAT
It was 3yrs this past October
1 DD will turn 3 next month
dunno, she has made huge changes though and I still strongly believe that her A's were a result of her up bringing and how her dad used to beat up on her often, as well as she worked in a bar so there's always a-holes in there looking for action and with our M not going well she took to it.
I do take responsibility in not meeting her needs prior A's but only to the extent that I could control. My needs were not being met either and I made a decision to stay away from other women. She could have made the decision to stay away from other men but didn't, now the price we're paying as a result is almost putting us (me mainly) in dept.(emotionally)
In the pasture of life, don't be a cowpie.
FWW 22
BS 26 (me)
d-day May 30, 2004
March, 2005
January, 23,2006
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