I find myself in an interesting position, 4+ months after D-Day. I'm hoping this is a good thing, but maybe I'm just doing some subconscious version of an Ostrich.

The last week has been good. Had a really bad night a week ago with a somewhat heated discussion. I posted about it and LovingAnyway pointed out where I had gone wrong (rather than where my wife had gone wrong according to BB's skewed world view).

I still have a lot of work to do on me. I have some underlying attitudes that I've developed over the last 7+ years due to various life events that I need to keep working on and weeding out. Yes, I've changed a lot - but I realized last week that a lot of the changes, while good, were also just the surface, and the stuff below the waterline is still something of a mess.

We've spent the last week just enjoying each other's company. No relationship talk, no discussion of the A, etc. It's been rather pleasant, to tell the truth.

A few weeks ago I had a startling (to me) realization. It was just me and DD at home (DS was out with friends, MP was babysitting for another couple). I realized that if it wound up just being me and DD, I was OK with that. It's definately not what I want, but it wouldn't be the end of the world either. I think this is a good thing - being at peace with whatever the ultimate outcome is will free me from feeling desparate, and I'm sure that desparation came through in my actions and demeanor, which didn't do much to make me an attractive husband <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I've been pretty upbeat the last week (despite getting a crappy review at work with no raise...6 years with the same company, and I've gotten a raise twice....2% each time; and I'm by no means a terrible employee). MP was very supportive of me when I got the bad review, and that meant the world to me - totally lifted me out of my doldrums. I'm starting to get back into some of my hobbies (like programming), and just generally feel better than I have in months.

So my question to the experienced vets here...is this normal? Is it a bad thing? Am I hiding behind feeling upbeat and ok with whatever happens so that I can ignore the situation or give up? I don't think I'm giving up, just settling down for the long haul and digging in.

We're still doing MC, and we're planning on going to our church's marriage seminar next month as well. MP even asked me out for a movie this weekend (the date fell through because our sitter was unavailable, but just the fact that she took the initiative to set up a date for us to do something fun was a huge boon to me).

I really hope I'm not taking a wrong detour somewhere here.