my husband and i have been having some bedroom problems. Lack of desire on his side. for the last few months it seems the only time we have sex is when he initates it. ive tried to initate it but he says hes just not in the mood, or hes just not intrested. ive tried to talk to him about itbut it dosnt help. In the last 6 weeks we have only had sex 4 times. he dosnt see this as a problem. i do. i just dont know what to do. he says there isnt anything i can do to turn him on. hes just not intrested. and im a very attractive woman. Im 21 yrs old hes 22 yrs old we hav been married for 2 years. no major issues. except this one. the sex is wonderful when we have it. we both can agree on that. so any suggestions?

Get out of the bedroom. It's too boring there.

Welcome to MB, becca'. Wish it could have been under better circumstances.

Don't mind pieta's flipant answer. She does give normally very good advice on SF. If you ever wanted to know about sex, she is your woman...

Sex 4 times per 6 weeks is a bit on the low side, but for some guys it may be enough. Given his age, your age, your length of marriage, though it is a bit odd.

I assume that all of the usual suspects that would cause his low desire for sex can be ruled out. There is no way that he is having an affair, right? And he is not addicted to porn, right? And he is a healthy, virile young man, right? And you are an attractive young woman, right? And he enjoys it, right? And the romance has not gone out of the marriage in just two years, right?

I am at a loss, but a suggestions:
- Do you think that he is using sex as a power play? He may want to establish that the two of you will make love only when he wants it, on his term?

- Do you think that this is just some immature sick ego trip of his? Some guys, especially young ones, would get a kick out of having a pretty woman beg them for sex. Do you promise he to do "something special"?

- Do not talk about this problem on a night when there is a possibility of having sex. Talk about it outside any setting when sex could occur. This will put him at ease.

- Schedule sex. Twice a week, at a certain time.

Good luck!

thanx for the reply we have upped the sex i brought it up at marriage councling and since then he has been up to it. thanx for the help.