Hi Everyone,
Hope someone can give me some sound advice. After being together for 8 years and married 3.5, I feel like I am ready to throw in the towel. My H and I had no intimacy (sex) for months at a time. We have a great "Friend" relationship; the communication department has no complaints, unless we start talking about sex. He always says that he has a headache, too tired, too hungry, too full, or it's too late, or just not in the mood. For the last 3.5 years, I bring it up, I cry, he tries, and 2 weeks later, we are back to square 1.
Recently, a co-worker and I started to flirt and I feel like I am a teenager again. I feel pretty, confident, and sexy. All I can do is think of this new guy. When my husband touches me now, even when he puts his hand on my thigh, I don't like it. Nothing, but flirting has happened between this guy at work. A part of me is angry that my H has let it come to this. So 2 weeks ago, I told my H that I like it when the co-worker flirts with me, but I don't like that I like it. H went nuts and threw a chair (not at me) and broke it. We had sex twice since then, but there is still tension and this hopeless feeling I have inside. He is feeling sad too, I think he is looking to me for support, but I feel like I can't give that to him right now because I am unstable myself. A big part of me just wants to end it now because I feel like I am no longer in love with him. For the last 3 years, I was depressed and cried all the time. I finally feel like I am numb to it and that I don't have to feel the pain anymore. I don't want to go back to being the depressed and ugly feeling I had. I don't want to have an affair either. I would rather be divorced before I be with someone else. We are both scared of counseling and to be honest right now, I would rather wait until it gets worse and then end it. Trouble is, we just bought a condo. At least we have no kids. Has anyone ever felt this?
Thanks,
Spydee
