Betrayed you asked
Another thing is why do I feel guilty about being upset with her. At times I feel like I should totally ignore anything she says and the next minute help her clean the kitchen or playroom. Is that all part of the process of coming to terms with what's going on?
Short answer is YUP! You are on the emotional rollercoaster and you will be for quite awhile yet.
I get the feeling that my fww wants me to digest what she told me on 4-9-2006 (D-Day) process it and pretend that everything is will be better all in a week. She said to me, " I know youu hate me right now, but can you lay with me tonight?", i said I will, but what if she thinks, "this is how the om used to hold me". I know that's what I'll be thinking. It seems she wants me to be lovey with her when that's the last thing I want to do.
Well, Betrayed all WS would love it if the BS could recover quickly, have the pain go away and be forgiven AND LOVED. Wouldn't you, I sure would. But, your W is learning it is not going to happen like that, it will take time. I do think lying down with her is a good idea if you are ready.
I have a strong feeling she will not be comparing you to OM. Truth be known, she did that comparison, and you won. She actually will struggle with this abit as well. You struggling with it is very very normal, and I have told her to expect you to feel this way. But, Betrayed, IF YOU want to lay down with her, do so. Help her feel your presence, it will make her feel better and that will give her the strength to help you.
I answered a few of your questions on your other thread, but this is part of the process. SHE NEEDS to be close to you right now. She craves it, because she is so hurt inside. This is NOT about OM, it is about what she did to herself, using OM as an instrument/tool/simple tool <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />.
So go with your gut, but rest assured if you can reach out to her, it is in both of your benefits for you to do so. And that darned rollercoaster will still keep rolling. It is definitely an "E ride" you are on. Hang on.
God Bless,
JL
