I am just wondering. I know that this must be something that goes through all BS's minds at some point. Not that you would actually do it although I would guess that some do. I know I never would but at the beginning after d-day the thought crossed my mind.


I even thought of going and seducing the OW husband just so she could see what it was like. (She wasn't married to him when my FWH slept with her) I have much higher morals and values then that though. But in my roller coaster of emotions the thought did cross my mind. But those thoughts are long gone now.

It has crossed my mind -- fleetingly.

I don't WANT to be "even." EVER. Because getting even means crawling down into the gutter myself; that is too high a price for me. I don't like the gutter.

Unfortunatly this is common enough to have a name. It is called a "revenge A".

Fortunately it is a passing thought for many of us.

MelodyLane you are right. Where my FWH went is a place I never would want to go- a disgusting, awful, evil, guilt-ridden, horrible place that I would never put myself or my family in.

It's natural to think to want to get even. After all, didn't Ivana Trump wrote a book, entitled "Don't Get Mad. Get Even?"

You can get even. It's just a matter of how you do it and what price are you willing to pay. Your thoughts of seducing the OWH, while the gratification is instant, the end result isn't worth it. It's too high a price to compromise your dignity.

EXPOSING the A? Now, that's getting even! Sending OW's email contacts to her co-workers and friends with copies of her emotionally deranged emails to H which she called me names and threats against me, that's getting even! The end result was WH and OW were pissed, but did I care? Heck, no! Neither one cared about anybody else when they decided to do it! Emailing OW's friends was a matter of ensuring my safety. And it sent shockwaves. The OW immediately called H crying about it. When H called me on it, I told him that the next time his mistress throws a punch, she better expect that I'll punch back. I also said that "the minute she intruded on my life, the gloves came off."

So, know which battle you're willing to fight.

When I think about how CRUSHED I was when I found out about my my H's A, I knew that I could never in a million years inflict or wish that type of pain on anyone.