Post deleted by fixingit

Hmmm,

Harrassment and possibly stalking.

Well..

I guess I don't understand why you have this compulsion to seek them out..for absolution or anything else.

In an affair situation, you are the third party in *their* marriage. You presence has never been appropriate or healthy and continues not to be.

His wife doesn't require your personal confession or a documentation of events as you remember it...again..the marriage is comprised of he and his wife..it is the two of them that need to come to resolve together, your presence is only ever a hinderance to the recovery process.

The practice of permanent NC is a crucial element...for everyone including yourself.

The events that brought you into the affair..are not the concern of him or his wife..nor are they really any of their buisiness. The only relevant information concerning yourself for THEM is that you were involved in an A which is now past tense.

This isn't a situation that you will be able to fix..ever.

Once done these things can never be undone..and you'll have to come to accept that this will forever be a part of your history.

Yes, you may have made yourself vulnerable to a harassment or stalking charge..but it is unlikely that anything will ever come of it..IF you drop the rope.

The only reason that they could ever want documentation from you..is to provide evidence of your conduct...the best odds solution for you..end all contact with him and his wife ..no explanation needed..they don't need to know what you are thinking..why..if you are alright..nothing. There don't need to be any goodbyes. Just never ever contact them again.

If you won't do it for them..do it for yourself..no one benefits from what you have been engaging in..it is very unhealthy and obsessive.

Continue your own journey to health and well being..don't hold onto this..let it go..do not continue seeking gratification from this family.

What exactly compells you to engage this communication with them? Just curious.

wanna know what I THINK?

I THINK THAT YOU'RE PASSIVELY HARASSING THIS BW ON THIS BOARD...THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

I don't care what in the hades makes you do it...you KNOW THIS IS WRONG...it is pyschotic stalking.

but you're gonna do it anyway.

they WANT YOU GONE.

it's THEIR MARRIAGE...DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU AT ALL.

if YOU'RE SICK...YOU GET HELP...GET IT ALONE...your x married man DOES NOT HELP HERE.

I just see a very angry and scorned woman here with mental issues.

In fact, I see you BEING HERE...ON A MARRIAGE BUILDING SITE AND A RECOVERY SITE STALKING SOME MORE...THAT'S WHAT I SEE YOU DOING.

what's the issue? you're doing something wrong. You got problems. You need help. WHAT IS THE BIG QUESTION HERE WE HAVEN'T ANSWERED...LEAVE THE PEOPLE ALONE FOR CHRISTS' SAKE.

and don't you think the poor man's wife has had enough pain from you? and from him? please let her heal and LEARN WHAT IT IS TO FEEL PAIN...AFTER ALL, YOU'RE INFLICTING TONS ON THEM.

If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were a certain ow we nicknamed a few years back, psychobabblerabbit.

how in the heck are we supposed to give guidance to something that NEEDS NO EXPLANATION FURTHER? WHAT DO YOU WISH TO DO? HURT THE BW EVEN FURTHER?

what do you want? why do you want to talk to the poor woman?> YOU DID ENOUGH.

sorry for the bluntness and the hard hard reality.

but it is what it is. it's screwed up and you can do nothing but leave them alone and do not have ANY CONTACT AT ALL.

YOUR ANSWER? NO CONTACT. NO MORE LETTERS. NO MORE CAUSING UNDUE PAIN..FOR THE POOR BW WHO WAS INJURED BY YOUR DOING AND BY HER HUSBAND'S DOINGS IN THIS ILLICIT AFFAIR. NO MORE PHONE CALLS. NO MORE WRITING BOOKS, LIKE FIFTEEN PAGES. NOTHING ..NADA...ZILCH.

AND GET HEALTHY AND WORK ON YOURSELF AND STAY AWAY FROM MARRIED MEN. or you'll get burned once more.

Wow. I was seriously looking for advice here.

For those of you who asked, I offered to write all of this and send it to them. I wasn't going to unless they wanted me to. Like I said in my OP, they asked me to send it to them.

Where did they get the idea to ask you for this?

Another escapee from TOW board?

If this post is for real, the problems are beyond the scope of this board. Serious psychological/psychiatric THERAPY is needed.

About all the advice that this board can give you would be very simple and succinct.....NO Contact of any kind, not for ANY reason, with the man or his wife. Stay totally out of their lives as if you never existed.

This sounds a lot like my xow. She has bragged to me about
posting here, she's done some awful things.
She also put it in writing.
Leave them alone!
Grow up and see a freakin head doctor,
You need help!

fixit,
Why do you still consider yourself part of their life. You had no place there in the first place!
LEAVE THESE PEOPLE ALONE AND LET THEM HEAL.
Your role in their M was one of being the ill-begotten betrayer of God's vows. If you need individual help for this, then please do so and seek professional guidance for your obsession.
But do not continue to invade and trespass upon a M that god has blessed and YOU interfere with.
When and if, you become a REPENTANT OP, many here will talk to you, and help where they can.
Until then, you have come to the wrong forum. This is about building and restoring M's, not destroying them.
All Blessings,
Jerry