I'm so glad you are feeling better. I can tell your are because your posts are more positive. Of course your H is going to blame you for telling the kids, it is because he is realizing that they know and they don't like it or what it is doing to Mommy and he is now the bad guy. (Guilt made him drink and blame you) then his family supported you..and didn't invite him. (priceless) More guilt...Great, he is going to start coming out of the fog and realize what he is doing. When I asked my H to leave for a a couple of days, the kids cried and blamed me for making Daddy leave, so I told H that he needed to be a man and tell the kids that it was his decision to leave and that he had done something that hurt Mommy's feelings and to not blame Mommy. He did it and I felt much better. The drinking is a good sign, he is confused and feeling guilty and doesn't know how to deal with it. I am so glad that the weekend was good for you and not for him. Don't give up, keep being a good Mom and staying strong. Don't listen to his babble talk and blame..You are doing great <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Please listen to the friends on this forum. They have great advice and know exactly what to do. If you have a ? just ask them and they will answer you. Anything at all, they will tell it to you straight. We are all her for you...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I was waiting to get confronted again in re: to telling the kids about the real reason of the divorce. Well, hes been avoiding to talk to me, he texted me, ask why am I telling the kids about our problems and that if I have someone to blame is him not anyone else.

I repeated myself, my kids had ?'s and I answered them honestly, its not my fault the both of you have gulity a concious!

he said ok

Things have gotten so ugly , Im not sure where or what I should be doing. Sometimes I just want to give up.
Things like would my kids be better off with their dad and not me.
Im not financially stable, I cannot provide for my kids at the moment. Im still not working becuase of my 7 wk old child.

WS kept trying to come back home for SF and I kept falling, I had a slap of reality and it needed to stop. I texted OW in regards to WS and I SF. Things turned ugly.

WS called pissed off at me, why was I causing havoc with OW. He told me I had 3 days to get out of our home. He was going to fight for custody of the children. He was getting an attorney. etc.

I went to a womans place to request a restraing order for verbal abuse/threats. I have an appointment on Thursday with the courts.

Child Support has not been established. I have the paperwork here to submit. Ws tells me Im not getting a cent over what they request to be given, that he will pay for the bills and after the courts decide I will have to back pay him for what he has paid so far. ( im not sure how true this is but im worried) That since I choose not to work its my fault and that he is unemployed, so he soesnt have to pay a thing ( that i dont believe)
i havent been thru this and I have requested legal help thru a legal service I have, I havent heard back from them.
WS isnt clear on what he will pay just that he should only pay for the mortgage thats it.

I believe reconciliation is out of the ? and following thru with the divorce is the ultimate choice. WS is havin other encounters with OW other than OW #1. Of course she doesnt know about them.

Im so confused right now. I dont know left from right.

Since ive been on here, ive gone thru so much, my son pulled a knife on me, said he wanted me dead, hes only 5. OW found out about SF with WH, he denied everything, hes still with her. He continues to tell me he loves me. My daughter asked me for a new daddy. My WH's uncle passed away in a car accident and WH blamed me, because I gave him the news. and I fell apart. I took my whole bottle of my anti deppressants Zoloft. After a few hours my body tried to throw the pills out but too late. The symtoms have faded away but I feel so nervous, I cant sleep, Im ashamed to tell anyone, I cant bring myself to do anything at home. I still do the normal to not let my kids notice but Im so hurt, i dont know what to do. Im afraid to tell my WH for the fear of loosing my kids. I may have done permanent damage to myself and I honestly dont care. I see my kids and I know they need me but how can I pull myself out of this.

Sorry to hear you are so down. It sounds like you desperately need some counseling to help you deal with all of these problems that your husband is causing. Please get an appointment. If you can't afford it, go to a women's clinic.