Many here have done a good Plan B with children. In Plan B you are allowed to talk to him about finances, and children. You just have to be sure to stick to those subjects, and not be drawn into anything else.

I think I would write a good Plan B letter. I would include something about how much you loved MIL and how hurt you were, and that to protect your heart, you can no longer have contact with him, except regarding the children.

Your WH is about to go through some real grieving. OW will not be able to meet his needs. Now is a good time to go into Plan B.

When he gets your letter, he will be able to read it later and realize that you loved his mom. His awful behavior will get to him sooner or later.

Believer,

Do you know of any plan b with children posts that have been written? If so please let me know.I want can see how I can start writing my letter to WH.

Why don't you post a thread here asking. I know there have been quite a few, but I will have to think awhile.

Check out one of the Plan B sample letters here and add your personal stuff.

I think it would be a good time to go to Plan B. Be sure to post it here before you send it.

I cannot believe that my WH's step-father had the nerve to call me today ranting and raving. He said I disrespected his home, him, his MIL, and my MIL. That was totally not true. I went to the home like he invited me to. I felt I was justified for being there.

He said his nephew saw what I did. (Nothing Happened). My mother was with me throughout the entire ordeal and I would not disrespect her by showing out. When I asked him what did his nephew said I did he did not respond.The only thing I did was introduce myself to the people in the home as being my H's wife. They would have looked at me strangely just coming in sitting down and not know who I was. My husband and everyone else did not arrive yet.

If anything, my WH was the one doing the disrepecting to his own mother,her home, her mother, and her husband by airing his dirty laundry the day of her funeral. If they want to talk about disrepect, I wasn't mentioned in the obituary nor was I invited into the family car. That was my MIL at the time of her death and still married to her son. She and I had a very good relationship with each other.

If someone understand what my H's Step-father was getting at or at the situation, please enlighten me. I need to understand.

Your WH's actions were dishonorable. Now he and his family are going to find fault in you. The same thing happened to me. SIL and I used to be best friends before the A.

I think you need to go to Plan B, and protect yourself from these people.

I think I will remove myself from this crazy situation. I should have known all of the blame will be shifted towards me it would be convenient to do so. I will definitely go into plan b.

That's just the way it happens. I did nothing to my WH or his family. But his family watched every move I made and criticized me, and all the time he was living with the OW and lying about it.

I needed to do a Plan B long before I finally did it. My relationship with his family will never recover.

I wonder if he will ever realize the pain he has caused me and my children? Or do he even care? How can someone love you and hurt you so badly? I wonder if he ever did or was he pretending because of the benefits he got by being with me? That is something I may never know the answer to.

All I know is I will start my classes tomorrow and move forward with my life. I have children that are looking at me for support and guidance and I will give them just that.I have to be strong for them and myself at this point. I have to act as if my WH does not exist in our world.

They have been let down by my WH and very disappointed in him. My son (who is 14) said how can he have been in our lives all of this time, live in our home, you help him to this point and he treat you with such disrespect? I will never feel for him again.

I could not answer his question. I only said we will be fine and some people do things that we may never understand and we cannot control the actions of others. I assured him I will always be there for him as long as I have breath in my body. I feel so bad that my kids have so much hurt in them because of what they say being done to me.

First, I would like to say Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers on this forum.

My WH had the nerve to call and wish me a happy mother's day today. He went on to say he is still respectful of me regardless of what people may think. What respect do he have? I was nothing a week ago at my mil's funeral when he brought the ow.

What people are he talking about? I made it my business to not have not contact. I don't phone, text message, or nothing. Do you think I still need to do the plan b letter? Should I mail it or give it to him when we go to court this Thursday for child support? Wouldn't that be right up his alley since he is so deep in the fog with ow? Some feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, give him the Plan B letter. Try to post it here first. Your husband will feel bad at some point. It just takes time. Mine is very remorseful now (after 3 years). But he is still with the OW.

He keeps writing me letters about how sorry he is. I got another one yesterday. I don't respond, just throw them in the trash.

It's good to start working and planning toward a life of your own. Good luck with the court. I hope you get a big chunk of his money.

I hope so too? I hope he doesn't go in there claiming he is not working or they go off of my income and tell him to pay less money. After all I am taking care of ALL of the kids by myself as well as the bills. That should count for something.

Does your WH ever try to contact you by phone? If he is so happy with OW why is he writing you so much? I guess the grass is not as greener on the other side as he thought!

Why are you carrying the burden of all of the bills?

I've been in Plan B for over 2 years, and am getting divorced soon. WH tries to call, but I screen my calls. He comes over sometimes, but I just tell him to discuss things with my attorney. So he sends letters. I have received about 20, and never respond.

Once you are out of the picture (like in Plan B), they seem to realize how awful they have been.

It must have been your choice to divorce. I am sorry it had to come to that. I can't get him to give me money for the kids so I know I can't get it for anything else. Besides I don't think he has a job and if he does he is probably working contingent.

I work fulltime and had always made more money than he. I was always self sufficient when it came to taking care of myself and my kids. I guess he knows that. I am not doing anything different than I did when we met 6 years ago. When I saw him last at the family's house following my mil's funeral, he didn't even have cigarettes.

He was fixing one that was broken. That is a shame because he had ow with him. Between the two of them he couldn't come up with $5. Another thing, he has not changed his address either. I got a letter from the state (addressed to him) about a ticket he received last month.I am surprised they did not take him to jail because he has warrants and his license is suspended indefinitely.

It sounds like his life is falling apart. GOOD.

How many kids do you have?

I have five children 4 sons - 6 months, 3, 14, and 16; one daughter who is 11. The last two kids are with my WH. I don't know why he even called me today. Don't get me wrong it was a nice thing to do, but under the circumstances he could have kept his words.

How could he fix his lips to say happy mother's day to me when I know the ow has to be lerking around somewhere? It sounded like he was outside using his cell phone because I could hear the traffic. I blocked his dad's number so they cannot call from there.

He had the nerve to say he wanted to see the kids and me soon. I didn't justify him with an answer. Why on earth do he want to see me? According to his father my WH said he told me on numerous occassions that it was over and I don't know how to let go. I am not the one requesting to see him, now who don't want to let go?

That is very common. My WH held on to both the OW and me.

Get your Plan B letter ready. He needs to get a taste of life without you. These affairs hardly ever last. But you need to protect yourself from him and his family.

I am going to write the letter and give it to him on Thursay. I will post it here first. But I have one question. Isn't no contact what he wants? He has not made any attempt in the last month and a half to see the kids or me. He has been gone now for 6 months. Hasn't he got what it would be like without me? Maybe the ow is meeting all of his needs and he doesn't need me for that anymore.

When he talks to me he never mention our M or anything about us. He says if we talk it would be about business or nothing at all.

Well, as long as they think they have the BS on the back burner, they are not likely to make any changes. Usually Plan A doesn't work - it takes a dark Plan B to wake them up. But Plan B is also for you - to protect you.

Am I fooling myself to believe that he still loves me? The one thing I can hear in my head over and over is him telling me he loves me but not enought to be with me. This statement was made a week after he said wanted us to work on our marriage. He involved my children by telling them the same as well as my mil before she passed. Then he did a 360 on me. I wonder if my M will ever recover from this. He made a choice to leave after we were only married for 9 months.

Affairs never last. But as long as he is in the affair, you won't really know. Plan B will help you.