My WH told our 6 yr old he would not be going with us to my parents for Easter Dinner. Too much work to do. He started a new job two weeks ago, but yet he wasn't too busy to go out last night with God knows who. I never know where or who he is with.

I am sure it is over with his 1st OW, but think he is trolling for another. Texting a mutual friend to meet him out for drinks if she could get away. She is a friend to his family and me supposedly and says they are just friends but I am tired of it.

I can't believe that he thinks this just hurts me not going to my mom, but he is hurting our children and my family.

Why can't they see what they do?

They can't see what they do because he is in a fog of entitlement. He is reacting to all his resentments and lack of respect...he is challenging all of it, justifying his derriere off, and because others (yes, the burden of family in his mind) made him do this.

Perspective is a dangerous choice we make. Be careful with your own.

His choices are his, not yours. You can't make him choose. Your family and children can tell him. You can tell him, thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Show your son you know of his anger, frustration and fear. Acknowledge and validate what he feels. Talk about his opposite sex friendships, feeling last place with your family, and ask them for their support by speaking their thoughts and feelings to your WH.

Is he still living in the home? Marriage doesn't include not knowing where he is or who he is with...if you've been doing Plan A from his first A, removing all DJs, AOs and changing yourself, now might be the time to go to Plan B. Without transparency, there can be no intimacy. Kills the heart of marriage.

LA