We have been married for over 15 years, althought happy out right we have had our share of problems. My wife has been very distant at times, she had a very difficult relationship with her father and it carried over into the marriage, as my wife would not allow me to get too "close". For most of our marriage we have slept in different bed rooms. Coming from a home where my mother wasn't very effectionate I needed more than i was getting from my wife. What resulted was me nearly getting involved with another woman. My wife found out before anything had happened and it has nearly caused us to get a divorce. We have been in marriage counseling for over a year now and have worked out many of the problems which have plagued our marriage.<P>The problem is that just when I think we have made it my wife will start to relive all the issues with the other woman.<P>I have apologized over and over and tried to help her understand that I love her but the marriage wasn't meeting my needs. <P>I love her more than the breath that sustains my life but we are in serious trouble because of the constant reliving of the problems which I caused. My wife has admitted that she shares some of the blame because of the baggage she brought into the marriage and That i did also. <P>I am very low today and don't know what else to do. Our therapist says to be patient and let things work out. But sometimes it reminds me of that Movie Groundhog day where the one day gets played out over and over...Any advice?

No advice other than to be patient. Imagine what it would have been like if you'd actually had an affair - you should both be so grateful it didn't go that far.