I was wondering who has seeked out counseling for themselves before a divorce to help them cope with what's ahead? Did it help?

I am done with my marriage. I can no longer continue with this. I have been with H 10yrs/married 5yrs. I can no longer live with the emotional and verbal abuse, his addiction issues, and his general disregard for making our home a loving environment for our 2 children.

My problem is finding the courage to file. To just "do it". Stop waiting for things to get better only to get worse. I feel broken down and just emotionally raw. I am on edge whenever he is around. I feel like I always need to watch my back because I don't know how he will cause trouble next. I was always really strong in the past, but now I feel that the years of name calling have really taken a toll. I feel stupid and emotionally exhausted. I hear his verbal abuse replay in my head daily, like a tape recording.

I have been thinking of getting some kind of counseling before I file for divorce. Has anyone else done this and found it really helped them? Can he use this against me in court?

i wish i had done counseling before filing. i had no clue the emotional storm that was ahead. i think it is a great idea.

i just "did it" - filing and leaving. i wish i had planned better. the only thing th stbx has "against" me is the way i left. yes we had talked about it, yes we were finished, but the only way i had the courage to follow through was just do it.

i suggest you see a therapist a few times, then discuss things with the stbx.

good luck

Yes, I did. He had emotionally left the marriage already at that point. I made my first appointment before I knew about his affair/whatnot because I was so unhappy. I needed to figure out where I was at and really make sure I covered all my bases.

I went weekly for about 3-4 weeks and then another 3 or so visits. It helped tremendously in recovery for myself, processing everything that happened.

I highly recommend it. It is a very stressful time, and talking about it and hashing out your feelings, thoughts, etc. helps.

I am not currently in counseling but I did go for a long time when my h and I separated before and it helped me tremendously. I actually went again when he came back home for the last time because things were just not going well and I knew and end was in sight. If you get a good counselor it really really does help. Read books too, those also help. Good luck and we are here..... mlhb

Thanks everyone for your responses. I have decided to go ahead and make an appointment today. I figure while I am in counseling I will seek out a good lawyer as well. I have spoken to 2 lawyers in the past year, but I wasn't comfortable with either.

Go...before and after....well worth the investment.