I am a SAHM to a beautiful little boy. Things have been great up until October of 05'. DH comes home and doesn't take notice of the projects I have completed in this house. He just walks right past the things I have completed or it will take my asking him if he saw such and such to realize what has been done. This may sound petty, but keeping up with a house, a baby and doing extra projects to keep our house up is a tough job. I feel so unappreciated and when he does comment on something, I always feel like there is criticism associated with it. For example, tonight I made stromboli with a romaine salad on the side. He sat there and took a bite of it, NEVER commenting on dinner being good or even bad. Instead he says, well this dressing is a little strong.

Now, I'm not about to say who has a harder job. I know my husband's job and mine are hard in their own way, but (moving on to my next problem), he will act upset when I ask him to get up at night to get the baby because he's crying. This is just one example of the eye rolling and sigh that he'll do. Although when you call him on this behavior, he claims he isn't doing that. It makes me feel horrible.

On weekends or his day's off, he'll talk about all these "to-do's" that he needs to get to. Which are fine, but I can't help??? It seems my role 7 days a week is to be a mom and thats all. So, when the baby is napping during the week, I'll sneak off to do some of these projects so DH has nothing to do on the weekends. Although this never works because he comes up with some other project he needs done. I've talked to him about his list of neverending projects and all he says to me is, "This is for us." Or, "You can go do it and I'll sit here."

Maybe I am being overly sensitive, but these issues keep coming up over and over again. I feel I've lost who I am and now I'm just this wife and mother. I am very sad and upset.

Oh, Welcome, SAHM!

You have come to a great place for you and your marriage. Really. I'm doing a little happy dance...don't look.

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What you have going on is resentment. Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

However, God just showed me the beautiful side of it...that it can inspire someone to find out what they can do about it, be led here where your marriage can thrive.

You just taught me something.

Read all the articles on this website (the links to them are to the right of your screen near the top...about the Love Bank, Emotional Needs, Love Busters...there are questionnaires you can do...don't skip the Recreational Companionship one...and the Policy of Undivided Attention...all of these will go a long way into showing you how a marriage can rock...and you're half the marriage.

You have power in your choices, a great heart and a will. All the makings for a great human marriage. Won't depend on your H, either...you are not being overly sensitive...your feelings are valid. They are yours. No one elses. He isn't causing you to resent, you're choosing to...and you have needs, valid needs...that he can't meet when neither of you know about them, right?

You have not lost who you are, but bless your sensitivity and awareness, because resentment is like spackle...and as you layer it on, you build a barrier over yourself to yourself, and to others. You've caught this so soon...spoken out and asked for what you need...I can't help but do another happy dance and knock my tea over again.

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Keep posting and reading...you're not alone. You're incredibly smart to be here now...wow. Thank you...you helped someone on your first post. I'm sure it won't end there.

LA

Welcome to MB, SAHM.
A couple of points:

- You should let H know that it bothers you. He most likely does care about what you do, but just does not verbalize it. Don't tell him that you hate it that he does not appreciate it what you are doing, but that you hate it that he does not show you that he appreciates it.

- You should have a network of friends and family members for emotional support. Relying on your husband for all of your emotional support is not realistic and even unfair to him.

Good luck!