Hello, I'm new here. I am actually the "victim" of my husband's affair, after 24 years of marriage...he has not yet begun to really detach from the OW. However, in this post I'm commenting on the issue of re-marrying. I am now 59, but I married my first husband, whom I loved passionately, when I was 22, after we had been together as boyfriend/girlfriend and also after living together, for four years. The marriage lasted 2 years, he wanted out, didn't want to discuss it, I was devastated, and I left the state and "moved on." We remained in contact for two more years, and then I cut it off, as I couldn't really start a new life while thinking of him. Eight years later, after both of us had been in other relationships, and when we had broken off these relationships and gotten depressed, we got back together. Keep in mind we were on opposites of the country and not in touch! We remarried, I think because there had really been no closure the first time, and the second marriage was tumultuous, chaotic, nighmarish and lasted only 10 months. He was an alchoholic who finally got help twenty years later....at this point, in his mid 60s, he has been sober for 15 years and married to someone for about 8 or 10 years. My own marriage to my current husband has also not fared well. I guess I don't know how to pick them.