I am sure some of you have read a few of my other posts about my sitch. My question is how do you get your spouse to trust that what you are saying is the truth. I'm not looking for a quick fix because I know there is not one. I talk to her and tell her and have been showing her what I am saying is the truth. She says she doesn't know if she can let herself love me like she used to. She is not saying that it won't happen just that she doesn't know. I've never been a romantic person and i've never really known how to flirt. What are ways I can break down that wall and have her let me back in. She tells me that she misses me and loves me but that she got so unhappy and finally got to the point of filing for divorce that its hard for her to go back.

I know there are a lot of people that have gone to ****** and back and made it back and made it better than ever. Any advice I would be so appreciative for. I miss my wife so much and spending the last couple days with her and the kids have been wonderful. She thinks that I should not come over tonight which really stinks but I understand. I just want to prove to her I can make her happy and make our marriage better than we could of ever imagined. Please please I need advice I don't want to screw anything up and I don't want to lose her forever even though I will always be in her life because of the kids I don't just want to be in her life because of them. I want to be in her life because she wants me there and can't imagine life without me either.

Keep doing the right things. Words are good, but make sure your actions are consistent. Patience is needed now. You may appear desperate to her.
When you can't be with her and the kids, take the time to help yourself, whether getting yourself organized, or reading books to help you understand your situation better or exercise. Enjoy this me time, while becoming the best person you can be.

Thank you I really plan on doing that. I am no longer drinking at all. I just stopped at the book store and got the book the Greatest miracle in the world and the His needs her needs and plan on reading that in my spare time. I want to be the best person I can be not only for my family but for myself. I am feeling great never have felt this great in my life about myself. I actually have confidence with any action that I do and i'm sure it shows. I love myself now but not to much I appreciate everything. I don't want this to be easy I want to have to work my butt off because if it was easy I wouldn't appreciate it as much. Someone told me the best things in life are the things that you have to work for. That couldn't be so true. Thank you again.

Sadly, the line that keeps playing through my head was from a counselor. "An individual is only the emotional age at which an addiction began". So, when did you begin drinking?
I look at my X and think he's emotionally 17 YO, and everyone else has experienced life emotionally and has grown beyond that point.
Consider the fact that your wife may have grown while you were drinking, and can't get back to that point.
Addictions are difficult to overcome and recover, for all involved. Is your wife going to Alanon? It may help.

well I must say that the drinking I did was with my wife. Not that it is an excuse by all means but must say I did not go off drinking alone she was with me everytime. Not saying that she didn't grow past me but not sure if I agree with what you are completely saying. Even though we did all of that together the only difference is I started to not care and did not meet her needs. She still drinks is she getting drunk no but she will sit and have a pint while watching a movie. There are many things that she needs to work on as well which right now she does not see or think that she does. Does not take away from the fact I want to be with her and know that I still need to change things in myself which I am taking every step to do that. We were never crazy drinkers once a week or every couple weeks not say that is good either but neither of us have ever drank everyday. I know alcohol is a problem in any relationship and it was in mine as well. We built our relationship on sand and it came tumbling down and we now have a chance to build it on concrete. Emotionally I have grown more than ever and do not feel like i'm even close to 17. I am only 24 and I must say that I have it together more than a lot of people that are 30 or 40. I have 3 beautiful children I bought my first house at 20 and have been married since then as well and have worked 2 jobs for the past couple years with little to no days off ever. To say that emotionally you are back at teenage could be very true for some people but I don't think that everyone can be put in that catagory.

I am all for seeing the truth and I am very open minded to the truth and realize I still have a long way to go but I must admit that, that is not my truth. Thank you again for responding.

I had hoped that wasn't the case, and there is a big difference between an addict and a casual drinker, but there is truth to it for some people.
For others, they use addictions to hide from responsibility.
You will have to identify your issues and deal with them.
You have the tools. Whatever the outcome, you will become a better person for using the tools available to you, like many of us have.