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Frank: I am going to insult you now. I learned never to debate an idiot. You are and insulting know it all jerk. Unlike you I don't sit here waiting to respond to a jerk like you.

What these aren’t insults? You are a joke… really…. You really are…..
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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Anybody could read my posts to you and compare what we wrote to each other and I have been far more tolerant than you have.


Tolerant to what? The TRUTH? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


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You call what Dazed has is progress? His wife is still in an Affair and still abusing him with a "Nut" OM. Oh, she is in the house so she gets to treat him l! ike crap and you consider that progress. The OM is a danger t! o his fa mily still and you call it progress. Dazed now has a wife that is still in an affair.


Well…. Once again there is your usual blanket statement…. And once again you can’t see that his W… oh look either paste the timeline and THEN TRY and dispute it or just avoid it…..because… it wasn’t just ME that saw progress…. MM….. And many others including Steve Harley who TOLD DAZED to continue in “A” saw it…. But… who is HE compared to YOU right?


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You already have said that it is a LB to demand your spouse stop screwing another person so what if a wife demands her S stop beating her is that also a LB? People that put up with abuse get abused. There is no place for it yet you mock people and make fun of them for pointing this out.

Ah…. Screwing…your favorite word…. Kind of brings a tear to my eye as this was the filthy word that brought us together on Dazed thread,,,,when you in your infinite wisdom decided to bring your filthy word on to Dazed thread,.,,,to help him…. Ya… help him…..right……

Now if you think for ONE MINUTE that you can DEMAND ANYTHING from a spouse wayward or not… and get results other than resistance and justification….than you’re stupider <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> than even I thought…… That is Soooooo ordinary demanding a WS stop…. Why would you need a website to counsel you to do THAT??????

Here’s your version of MB…
Plan “A” Be understanding for ten minutes.,.. BUT DO NOT TAKE ANY RESPONSIBLILITY FOR YOUR PART IN THE SITUATION……. THEN HITCH UP YOUR BA**S AND DEMAND THEY STOP THE AFFAIR…. DEMAND THEY STOP SCREWING OP…. DEMAND THEY THIS AND DEMAND THEY THAT………SET BOUNDERIES AND RULES AND DEMAND THEY ARE FOLLOWED….. If they don’t cave in to your demands go to
Plan “B”

Plan “B” THROW THEM OUT…. TELL THEM WHAT EVIL PEOPLE THEY ARE…. BLAME THEM FOR ALL THE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE AND IF POSSIBILE TELL EVERYONE AROUND YOU IT WAS ALL THEIR FAULT……AND DIVORCE AS CRUELY AS POSSIBLE……

This would make a great site and save a lot of Marriages…..don’t you think?


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Unlike you I don't sit here waiting to respond to a jerk like you. ! I have a job and a life. I am spending the afternoon with my kids. You are not important to me at all.


Fortunately I WORK on a computer a lot…and I type very fast so it doesn’t take me that to play with you…Great… I never wanted to be important to the likes of you anyway really…
I just want to be the guy that you look over your shoulder for when you try and tell people what awful spouses they have….and dilute your hatred of Wss so they can POSSIBILY save their marriages….that who is I am to you…..
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


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It is kind of sad that you call us the haters when your the one that is doing all of the hating?


I don’t hate you… Hate isn‘t the opposite of love indifference is…and that is what I am to you…. To hate you I would have had to love you… and sorry I never have…. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />(and it was Dazed that coined the phrase “haters” but I agree) you bother me about like a flea on a dog…..

And you are haters… haters of wayward spouses…mostly your own I’m sure but all you do is tell people THEY are being abused… like you’re the “Robin Hood” of abuse or something….. You never encourage you never console… you just BASH the H*LL out of Wss could it be that misery DOES like company?

Now I told you before I’m done with you done……with……you……….and you may leave now….. (unless you want to paste the timeline and TRY and argue that) just watch the hate you spread or I’ll be on you like white on rice…OK?

..

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jph....almost forgot about you..

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No wonder your wife found another who could stand to live with this...hatred wrapped up in self righteousness.


Ahh…. This to you must be the ULTIMATE insult to someone here….no wonder your W found another… (Excuse me….I may have to cry now) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
It really isn’t, BUT.....it is PERFECT to illustrate my point about you people……. Thank you sooooo very much…..

You see…. This is the EXACT opposite of what the “H” club preaches and what I HAVE been trying to say for a LONG time….

You tell these poor BSs that “They don’t deserve the “abuse” and that their wayward spouses are the ones that “made the choice” and that they should be punished and live with the mess THEY caused……

Yet…. In trying to insult me…. You reveal your TRUE feelings that there are times that a spouse is driven… or at least left VUNERABLE to an affair by the BS……as you implied mine was…..(not as nicely because you don’t have any bullets left and are just swinging your gun blindly in the air now.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />)

And I have been saying (which I learned from my minister and Steve H.) that EVERY SINGLE BS here has had a hand in the affair or at least IN laying the groundwork…. (by not meeting needs.. Emotional desertion or whatever) and BECAUSE of that the BS needs to use plan “A” to try and show the WS that they IDENIFY the problem and are taking steps to change those habits that left the WS on the couch crying every night while her H ignored her and was off with his racing buddies (as in Dazed’s case)

THE BETRAYED SPOUSES THAT “GET THIS” ARE THE ONES THAT HAVE THE “STRENGTH” TO DO A GOOD ENOUGH PLAN “A” TO GIVE THEIR MARRIAGES A CHANCE…. WITHOUT THIS KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF THE MAKEUP OF AN AFFAIR…. THEY ARE DOOMED……..

So…. I am going to (kind of ) agree with you (it wasn’t for the reason you said…I’m only like that towards anti MB people. Normally, I‘m considered a pretty fun guy to be around) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

THE REASON MY W FOUND ANOTHER MAN WAS BECAUSE THERE WAS SOMETHING I WAS DOING OR NOT DOING THAT MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR THE OM TO GET A FOOT HOLD…… YES YES YES…… THAT IS WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG..!!!!!!
Armed with THIS belief….. HOW can we blame ONLY them that there is an affair in our marriages???? And UNDERSTANDING this…. HOW can we EVER expect to repair our marriages blaming only our WS and NOT fixing the problems that LED to the affair??

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As I said when you point a finger at another claiming their intentions are evil, remember there are three pointed back at yourself


You are ABSOLUTLEY right here… you're just wrong about WHICH finger I’m pointing at you is all…. (sorry that was just too easy I didn’t mean it…LOL….. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />)

Look can’t you people just try and soften up on WS s a little and understand that us BS s aren’t ALL THAT innocent? That’s all…. And encourage don’t DISCOURGE them….they are fighting like H*LL to save their LIVES….
THIS IS HARD ENOUGH…. this is ALL I ask....

,,

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PleaseHelp,

Just a point of information. We know Lemonen man is a physician because it is part of his original story. Oddly, he found out about his W's "continuing" affair, after discovery and her stating and acting like it was over, because he was on call in the ER when OM and his W came in due to an car accident. Lemonman, saved OM's life, all the while knowing he was the OM.

I find this thread very very bothersome, and really PH your attitude about insulting people and so forth really bothers me alot. I recall when you first came here. I recall the state of mind you were in, and I recall your story fully. You needed help and you needed to hear ALL sides of things.

So does anyone else that comes here, and clearly the newbies. No one is buying plane tickets it go make sure Dazed does it "their" way. Several of us, myself included feel Dazed while showing amazing strength and determination is now putting at risk his daughter, and just his marriage.

I have stated my points to him strongly as have others. It is his call, it is his marriage, and it is his daughter. What it isn't is his W. She is gone and won't be back until something changes. I realize there has been changes in her behavior. My take on it is that she has become a more skilled "cake eater". But, let's say she has not. She cannot drive her own new car. She is still involved with the affair, she still hurts her H, and daughter, she still puts all of them in danger with OM.

In short there is little Dazed can do. My recommendation, change the game, and in this site it is plan B. Am I right? I don't know. But, I doubt SH is hearing all we hear, and I wonder about what SH would say if it seemed, as it does to us, that his daughter is in danger and he will NOT get an protective order against the man.

So why don't you all quit insulting one another, and recall how you felt when you came here, and how you ALL were looking for advice from all sides. No one ever made a good decision knowing just one side, and no one has ever eaten a pancake one side at a time.

Don't you all think it is time to do something productive?

God Bless,

JL

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JL you're right.

Is Pleasehelp (Frank) the one whose wife worked at McDonald's, left him for the ex-con who beat her and was pregnant by him? They had a daughter. If so, I do remember his story.

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JL you're right.

Is Pleasehelp (Frank) the one whose wife worked at McDonald's, left him for the ex-con who beat her and was pregnant by him? They had a daughter. If so, I do remember his story.

jph. that was very offensiive to make light of that situtaion. you have said really hurtful things to people here and i want you to know that it is not appreciated by me and others. i think it was very krass of you to make light of franks wife leaving him. this is so painful for him and others who have suffered this indignatien happen to them. i cant belive you would stoup this low and say that. shame on you for doing this. if you dont agree that is fine but to be so maligned is so sad of human nature.
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Thanks smolina99 but don't waste your time on him.....

no JPH my wife was the one that was abducted by aliens and got pregnant with 200 alien children (at the same time of course, they are very small and only need 4 days in the womb) These children were then used to take over another planet far far away... (I forget the name)

she then came back and THEN she got involved with a guy that once ate at a Mc Donalds and ran off with him because that was her most important emotional need (someone that ate at a Mc Donalds which I could NEVER fill because I prefer Burger King)
And the two of them actually beat up an ex-con who worked at a nursing home to steal drugs for his elderly grandmother that couldn't afford them any other way...... they took the drugs and visited the planet (only in their minds of course) that my Wife had visited....so that my wife could visit her children....I'm that guy....now do you remember me?

..last one JL I promise!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

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I was in no way making light of the situation. The Frank I remember had a wife who worked at McDonalds. She left him for an ex-con who beat her and she became pregnant by him. They had a daughter named Megan. How in this world could that be offensive? If he is indeed that Frank do you think he's forgotten that information and I have just reminded him? It was the information that he shared. How else could I disguish him from another poster other than their history. JL said he remembered Frank's situation and it made me recall what I think was his situation as well but I could be wrong.

You're criticizing me and you have no knowledge of what I am speaking.

If you do not care for my posts all you and "others" have to do is put me on ignore. Simple. This is not Miss Patticake's Tea Party where the mere mention of anything you don't want to hear or agree with causes you to get the vapors. Good grief. Grow up!

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JL… you are one of the VERY VERY few people that I will “stand down” to on this board my good friend…you are in my eyes a General on this site and I am just a soldier (well maybe at least a Sergeant after all this time?) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Yes I got a little outside of myself….and I’m a little ashamed..... I am… but It just frustrates me when people bash people that are trying to save their marriages….. Not so much lemonman… but Ihadenough’s hitch-em up your W is screwing another man talks…..KILL me… can you imagine ever hearing that from CHRIS or LOSTVA or SHEBA or K or MEDIC (our mortarman <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) or ANY others that were here way back when?? Tell me I'm not in the twilight Zone AGAIN!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

We have lost soooo many good people here to people like him… LOSTVA got tired of helping after being bashed and bashed (she didn‘t quit, you know her she is FAR from a quitter she just didn‘t want the junk anymore) …we lost SHEBA… and a few others that warned me how much it had changed here… Lori just told me the other day to get off here she could see the damage it was doing to me……now newbees like Smolina99 are OPENLY admitting that they are afraid to post here because of them???? Someone has to draw a line…. And yes… I got dragged down to their level and for that I apologize to you my General…

Oddly enough…. It was YOU and ONLY YOU that inspired me to stay and help here… ….(maybe I shouldn’t have said that they may try and bash YOU now LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />) I went right to DAZED post and never left… I converse with Dazed on a daily basis and we have become friends….he knows what he‘s doing Here is YOUR POST TO ME below…..

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JL
I plan on hanging around on MB for a while... Maybe I can help... I'm an EXPERT on WHAT NOT TO DO!! LOL!! Maybe I can help someone NOT make the same mistakes we did….

PH,
Actually you are very very wrong. You are in fact an expert on what does help and what does work. You accomplished something few do. You not only fought for your marriage, you regained it AFTER your W had married OM. That my man took something special and you have it. I recall your story vividly.
What has happened now, is a manifestation of HER issues, not your failure. She is the one with huge issues.
You on the other hand took the time to learn how to do things differently. To change your approach to things, and THEN used this information to make a remarkable turn around in your marriage.
You are being far too modest and this site DOES need your expertise badly. Please offer it to those who need your help.
God Bless,
JL

JL… It was THAT EXACT post you to me that kept me here when I came back and I tried to help (mostly Dazed because HIS case was so busy all the time and we talk) that is why I stayed and try to help….. BELIEVE ME.... sometimes I wish I left for good.... especially when this happens...

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I find this thread very very bothersome, and really PH your attitude about insulting people and so forth really bothers me alot. I recall when you first came here. I recall the state of mind you were in, and I recall your story fully. You needed help and you needed to hear ALL sides of things. So why don't you all quit insulting one another, and recall how you felt when you came here, and how you ALL were looking for advice from all sides.


Yes…. And THANK GOD I didn’t get the advice DAZED did on the beginning….come on JL you know me….. I’m not REALLY like this.… I just tried to draw them away from DAZED because he ASKED us to take it outside….

Like I said…. people like IHADENOUGH just bring out the worst in me…. I suspect that he and his “crew” may be from that TOW site (more on that later)

And yes… I welcomed BOTH sides…. BUT they were BOTH presented to me WITH LOVE… DON’T YOU REMEMBER?????? It was never “Your W is screwing OM” NEVER EVER EVER …. If someone had come on here and said that to ME in the beginning middle OR end… I would have NEVER let them talk about MY darling wife like that ever.,….WE and I MEAN WE would have NEVER stood by and let people talk about our WS s or ANYONE’S that way…. But I guess that this place is fatally different than then my friend….sad….

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But, I doubt SH is hearing all we hear, and I wonder about what SH would say if it seemed, as it does to us , that his daughter is in danger and he will NOT get an protective order against the man
I agree…. I’ve TOLD him….MM had told him and many others… BUT Dazed is a VERY smart man… and OM is afraid of him.. So he knows the sit better than us I guess and I just talked to him the other day after is letter and he is ready now (thank God)

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I have stated my points to him strongly as have others.
Strongly but not in the same manner……

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My take on it is that she has become a more skilled "cake eater". But, let's say she has not. She cannot drive her own new car. She is still involved with the affair, she still hurts her H, and daughter, she still puts all of them in danger with OM.

I agree she’s waffling like crazy… but let’s face it… they ALL do… it was ALWAYS 5 steps forward 4 steps back… but as long as there is progress…
About the danger…. EVERYONE is right here.. But as I asked LEXXY how does he throw her into THAT situation all by herself……most of us don’t/didn’t have our WS home.. It makes the decision to go to “B” a little harder….because it actually means asking them to leave in some way…..don’t you think?

PleaseHelp,
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Just a point of information. We know Lemonen man is a physician because it is part of his original story. Oddly, he found out about his W's "continuing" affair, after discovery and her stating and acting like it was over, because he was on call in the ER when OM and his W came in due to an car accident. Lemonman, saved OM's life, all the while knowing he was the OM.


Wow… thanks for sharing that with me JL…. I have to say in that situation he is a better man than me…. I can’t say I would have saved him for sure… I think I may have made a mistake” or three…. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> see… you never do know the pain that makes someone the way they are…..we all have our crosses don’t we…. Sorry Lemonman.... you deserve to be a little "rough around the edges..." That is INTENSE!!! I'm sorry that happened to you I really am...


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Don't you all think it is time to do something productive?
YES YES YES LET’S AND GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND… MY GENERAL……

FRANK

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No wonder your wife found another..




no matter what else is going on, no matter what you disagree with, no matter how loud, or rudely Frank is yelling...



that was uncalled for....


how dare you.


Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.
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No wonder your wife found another..





no matter what else is going on, no matter what you disagree with, no matter how loud, or rudely Frank is yelling...



that was uncalled for....


how dare you.


Mrs. W and I are currently on vacation...we have only briefly skimmed this thread, but soulloss, those are our sentiments exactly...That was, indeed, a low blow...

Mr. W


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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smolina99:

Look, you ignore all of Frank's insults of other people. He is a very angry person yet you do not seem to see that.

I did not see anything sinister behind JPH's post. I think he was just asking if the story he posted was about Frank?

Now I know you want anyone that does not agree with Frank to be banned from this site, but you have not been around very long. Frank is one person that has his opinion and there is nothing wrong with that. In my opinion he is wrong on what we were discussing but that does not mean he should be banned.

UVA suggested Just Learning as a person that may be able to help you and I could not agree more. His posts are well thought out and again he helps a lot of people and I think it would do you a lot of good to ask questions.

There are a lot of people that recover their marriages. I may even recover mine I do not know if I want to yet and I thought I would be divorced by now but I have put it on hold. There are a lot of people who do not recover.

Frank ridicules true abuse that happens by WS. I must admit I asked my wife to get out right away I was not going to allow her to treat me that way. She could leave and be with her OM. She left at my request but she then asked for us to make it work. She immediately stopped her affair and begged me to let her come back.

My wife never met my needs the whole time we have been married. But I never cheated on her so I know not meeting needs is not the only reason people cheat. People cheat because they are tempted and they are weak. I just refuse to let my wife have an affair right in front of my face and beg her to stay. I wanted her happy so I was fine with her going to her OM. I had no doubt that I would be much happier without her. She never treated me with respect and I did not demand that she did. I tried to meet her needs but as soon as I did something else would make her unhappy.

Now as soon as I kicked her to the curb she told me it was over and she did not want the OM. Well good for her but what about me? She never met my needs for all of those years and I wanted her happy. I am tired of trying and so I told her I wanted a divorce. I wanted to find someone else who would respect me and treat me well. I also told her that she was a lousy wife and she should move on.

Some people are not marriage material. People that flaunt their affairs and continue to abuse the BS are not worth it! Anyone that thinks they need to take abuse to stay married should go seek counseling. Everyone should at least be treated with respect and that includes not sleeping with other people.

Here is another myth. BS cause WS to cheat. It is the WS choice to cheat not the BS. Some people will cheat no matter what. Some people are just always going to be unhappy. You don't have to listen to me. If you think the only way to recover a marriage is to put up with a WS no matter what they do to you then I think you are going about it the wrong way.

Again, there are a lot of good posters. MelodyLane (even if you and her got off on the wrong foot) is also very good and there are many many others. There are also posters that believe like I do or lemonman. The point is do not hook your horse to one person. Get other ideas because others have been there and have something to offer.

When I was trying to save my marriage before I knew about the affair, I let my wife run all over me and she did. I can't tell you how different she is right now. As soon as I put up ironclad boundaries and would not tolerate her treatment anymore she changed. Appeasement in my opinion gets you nowhere.

I know in my case what I did worked. If I would have told my wife, Gee I wish you would not keep having sex with the OM she would have laughed at me and kept doing it. There has to be consequences and people should never allow abuse.

Now smolina99, do what you want with this information. But you might want to stop getting involved with these peeing matches. I think I have been very kind to you since you want me banned because I don’t think life Frank.

Good luck to you.

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Thanks SOULLOSS... you two I consider a General here....see my post above to JL and you are right I have been rude...I'm not getting into that anymore...

BUT... I'll use this to tell Betrayed people here…what I found….while looking for JL's post to me I ran across THIS post that remained me of something….READ THIS EVERYONE BUT don‘t go to this site unless you have a VERY STRONG stomach!!!! it's ……I may start another thread. About this tomorrow……

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After reading Inga's story, I went to the TOW (the OTHER Woman) site and read from their topics. I feel dirty. These women & men believe that they found "true love"? One women confessed to being the OW 4 times.
I don't know why I even went to it - stupid I know! But they actually are coming to this site & going back to that filth & saying that we (BS) are angry & un-christian-like. They think Plan B is the best thing!!!! - gives them THEIR WSs.!!!! Quoting Harley as a fool!!!!

WOW HUH!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> This may be happening again… ever notice SOME people come on here and you NEVER know ANYTHING about their situation…. Their names…..where they live….. and NEVER ask for advice only GIVE advice!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

And isn’t it funny that THEY are the VERY ones to tell us to “THROW OUR SPOUSES OUT….”!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />That we deserve BETTER….. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> That not ALL marriages are worth saving?????? That we are fools for believing Harley!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

THEY……. MAY……BE………..THE …….VERY……..OPS……..WE…….ARE…….DEALING…….WITH…….!!!
COMING HERE TO GET US TO LEAVE OUR SPOUSES TO THEY CAN HAVE THEM!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

ISN’T THAT INCREDIBLE!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

It happened a while back and we stopped a few….. But NOW I think they have grown in such numbers that it is more the NORM to tell someone to Plan “B” so very early that it is more accepted than when I first got here……

SO…. BE CAREFUL…….. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> YOU MAY BE GETTING ADVICE FROM YOUR WSs…. OP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> DO A SEARCH!!!!! See if the “profile” fits…!!!!!!!! I’m going to see what I can find out……


GOOD LUCK AND PRAYERS.,…. AND LOOK OUT!! FRANK

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Frank,

Please remove the link to the OW site.

Throughout my entire 6 year membership here its typically been newbies that run across this site and place the link here on MB. Then the board wars start and go on for months, which gain no one anything but grief.

I'm so surprised its you doing this. PLEASE remove it immediately.

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No wonder your wife found another..





no matter what else is going on, no matter what you disagree with, no matter how loud, or rudely Frank is yelling...



that was uncalled for....


how dare you.


Mrs. W and I are currently on vacation...we have only briefly skimmed this thread, but soulloss, those are our sentiments exactly...That was, indeed, a low blow...

Mr. W

I agree... It was a very low blow.

Frank,

Remember me? I have a "II" after my name, but I'm still NB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I've read through this thread (and the other one you began) and I want to say this to you: The Frank I'm reading here is NOT the Frank I knew seven years ago. You were never this angry. And I'm not saying you don't have reason to be... but this isn't good, Frank. It just isn't.

You're right, Lostva, K, Sheba and Medic and a bunch of others (all of whom I miss, though I keep in touch with a few) are a lost breed... and often misunderstood.

And you know, Ihadenough, LM and others may be misunderstood, too.

I don't have a problem with people who are worried about the safety of children. An adult (like Dazed) may be able to make his own decisions (whether we agree with them or not) even if there is potential harm to himself... but... children... who are in potential danger... SOMEone needs to stand up for them, don't they? Just in case? Even if there's the smallest chance they could be harmed? Can't you appreciate that? I can.

There is nothing wrong with a difference of opinion... even here at MB. Why does it have to escalate to this kind of behavior? Who can this possibly help?

I have always thought highly of you, Frank. I know what happened with your W. Her decision to have the original affair, and her choices afterward, had NOTHING to do with you. I disagree with you that the BS has ANYTHING WHATSOEVER to do with the WS's CHOICE to have an affair. And remember, I've not only been a FBS, but I was a FWS, too.

Frank, I just hate to see your energy used for this kind of thread.



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I'm so surprised its you doing this. PLEASE remove it immediately.

Resilient

You are right and I did.... I'm just trying to find an answer to why there are so many people against Plan "A" here now... OP s must LOVE Plan "B"... it gives them what they want... for a while anyway....

Where the wars between the OP site and this site?

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to ihadenough. thank you for your post above and apologies. i think howvever you could futher save your marriage to listening to people like frank who want to help you save the marriage and not divorce. you see frank is a hope that many of us need and i am afraid you are not seeing what he is trying to do. i am happy that you are understanding the conflict that arguing on this thread has become. i will ask jl and mortarmen to help me with my marriage. thank you for the advice. i hope you will listen to mine and ask frank for help in also helping your marriage. god bless.
s smolina

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Thank you.

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Frank has done nothing but insult me smolina. No I beleive he gives the wrong advice and listen to him if you want.

Did you not read my post? If I would have followed his advise my wife would still be having an affair. I am saying that Frank is the last person on this whole site I would listen to.

I am doing fine doing the opposite of what he recommends. If you think his way is what you should do then do it.

But let me ask this, Why should your H not have affairs? I mean if there are no consequences then there is no reason to stop them or why should he not start another one.

Frank will not intimidate me I will post whatever I want using any words I choose. Start a thread and post to Frank if you wish and I will stay off it if you don't want to hear what will work. If you think allowing a WS to cheat with no consequences then in my opinion you better be able to take a ton of abuse from your WH.

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Frank has done nothing but insult me smolina. No I beleive he gives the wrong advice and listen to him if you want.

Did you not read my post? If I would have followed his advise my wife would still be having an affair. I am saying that Frank is the last person on this whole site I would listen to.

well i am very sorry you feel that way ihadenough. frank is a man who is preaching this sites principles. i do feel and understand your disagrements but not with him when he is expousing what steve harley says. when you say that frank is wrong and is the last one on this site you would like advice from you are saying that about the harley principles. he is tryign to help people implement those principles and you and lemonnman are going against it. that is why he startred the thread. i dont like any of the name calling but i cant be bullied by people who wont support marriage. it is ok to disgaree on this but not if it goes against what steve has already said. plan a and the progress of dazed is the testament that this works and what frnak is saying is true. i dont want to fight with you about frank or this. i hope but fear you wont save your marriage if you dont own up to your contributions to the affair and making it possible for her to have an affair with an om. this is why this site is so helpful to me. all of the years i never truly realized how much that i contributed to my husbands affair. i never know how much my husband likes a clean house and wants a hot meal for dinner. our finances are improving as i now work a second job for and i try and provide him with admiring to make him feel better about himself. i never realized these things before. i believ that plan a can go on as long as i in my heart can let it. we need more support for plan a and not always b like you and lemonnman always say. that is why frank is giving me so much hope now for my marriage. plan a helps marriages stay together while trying to recover. i dont think you understand plan a. please dont be mad at me for arguing your points.
s. molina

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