I don't know if this is the best place for this question... but the book section seems to get little traffic.

I want to check into the His Needs, Her Needs book. However,
my husband is not a religious person and he gets pretty put off by books that are labeled as "Christian Books." So much so, that I fear he won't be able to take any of its advice to heart if it is overly religious. How religious is this book? Is it something that a Non-Christian would be able to learn from?

tr,

While I think that HNHN meshes well with Christian values....it is NOT a religious book. It's very logic based and was written in a way that most men can relate to. I heard Dr. H say at the seminar that he specifically used language that would appeal to husbands....business men....because it was his experience that if you could get the husbands on board....you were more likely to make progress in helping marriages. I believe he used a "business model". It won my husband over....and I'm very thankful for that.

No, it does not come across as religious.

Not in my estimation.

It reads very secular.

I should know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

That said, some here will say that it is religious based because Dr. Harley is a religious person. If that's what makes a book religious based, so be it.

But I think your real question is whether the book is sanctimonious or not - dripping with Thou Shalt Nots, etc. It is not.

While often sold in Christian stores and in the Christian living section of some mainstream bookstores, it is not extremely religious. Given this fact though, you may want to get it by yourself and not have him with you.

I would also suggest you sit down and read through it by yourself to see what you think. One reason, you can still get the benefit of the wisdom contained even if he never reads it. The other reason is, you can be a much better judge of its "religiosity" than anybody here can. If I remember right, there is the occasional mention of "the marriage God intended you to have" but nothing preachy. I seriously doubt that your husband would be offended at all unless the mere mention of God offends. If that's the case, it will probably take much more than a book as you have much bigger issues.

Hope this helps... By the way, the Lovebusters book is good as well. I would recomment getting both. Some of the same ideas are covered, but both have a different approach. In a nutshell, Lovebusters is a "how to quit doing wrong" book and His Needs Her Needs is more of the "how to start doing right." Both contain a lot of wisdom and even if you don't buy into everything wholeheartedly, I guarantee you could find a few areas to work on that would make a huge difference. I wish someone would have shown me these a couple of years ago before things got so bad. It could have saved us a ton of heartache.

jcat -

What might those issues be?

WAT

Check it out from the library. I highly recommend it.

tr, I don't think anyone would consider me to be a proper Christian <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and I found *His Needs, Her Needs* to be extremely helpful. I gave a copy to my married daughter as well.
Mulan