Maybe stop isnt the right word. I know they will probably never stop completely. But how long after D-day do the bad thoughts and mental pictures stop interupting your day? I can be having a good day and all of a sudden my day goes to complete $h*t.

So you were married in January and she had her A in May. And your W is only 22. I think she`s got some growing up to do. Are the two of you in MC? Is she seeing an IC?

I think your W is going to need some form of counselling to figure out why she did this before even giving your young M a chance.

I think this will be an important step toward eliminating your mental anguish. If your W can get her ducks in a row, figure out why she chose to do this and establish some firm personal boundaries so that this never happens again....that will go a LONG way to help you to recover.

I have to be honest and say I do not understand affairs (any but..) that start so quickly after marriage, within months! I just don't get it. The ow my stbxh is with started the A with him only 3 months after she married her now exh. And they had been together 4+ years before getting married. That is an affair of a whole other kind to me.

As far as the pictures in your head, everyone is different. As I got stronger with myself they faded. As I got myself to the best place I could be at physically and mentally they faded. I don't have them at all now because I don't care anymore. (and we are divorcing so... different sitch, had we tried to work things out and he was living here, etc... it might have been harder to forget).

You guys have a long road ahead of you but I agree with the poster before me here. Your w needs counseling and to stick with it to find out why she would do such a thing so soon after marriage. My stbx's ow said stuff like she just decided she wanted to live the single life, if someone hit on her she didn't marriage holding her back from being able to pursue it, that she wanted time on her own, she wanted her cake and eat it too, all the stuff her h could give her but the excitement of being pursued... all kinds of whacked out stuff which screams this girl needs some serious help. She started counseling but would never finish it. Just like my wh, would start it but would never finish it. doesn't do any good if you don't finish it.

keep posting, I feel for you. I know the ow's now exh very well and I know how deeply hurt he was when this all happened.

mlhb