We are counseling thru church and he asked us to make a list of qualities that we like in the other person that brought us together.

I know there are hundreds of qualities about him that I like/love, but my mind is blank when it comes to making a list. I'm awful with lists. I'm more of a "ask me a question and I'll respond with reasons" type of person. It's hard to make a list... I didn't think it would be.

Any advice on how to make a list? I don't want to "steal" other people's lists, but I wish I could see a list of qualities in people and just pick from them and say why I feel he has that quality. Does that make sense?

Thanks in advance.

I think you're making this into a bigger deal than it really is, and that might be why you're unable to focus.
You said:

That's all you need to do. List those qualities. As you list them, situations or instances might come to mind which provide proof of those attributes. You might want to jot these down, also, to elaborate as to why you think this applies to your spouse. Things like "he is kind" and you remember he rescued that lost kitten in a tree, or whatever, will reinforce that attribute.

If it's difficult to get started, then think chronologically. When you were dating, why did you date him? Looks? Spirituality? Generosity? Great conversation? etc... Or if it's difficult to recall things in the past, start with last week - look at your calendar and try to remember when you were together, the interactions you had (hopefully the positive ones, for this exercise), and think of the traits that were associated with those exchanges.

Once you get started, you should be able to think of others. It's great you're getting counseling <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Avondale is right...All you have to do is pick a starting point and just make a list. I have the procrastination condition myself. Having to generate a finished product scares me to death. However, doing just a couple of items toward that goal is much more manageable. I like the idea of looking at the things done in the last few days. It's a small block of time. Only a finite number of things occurred. I could do that.

What has he done just TODAY that demonstrate good qualities? Can you look at that?

Start simple. Noting down the physical is usually easiest (although I realise that we are really talking about emotional/spiritual qualities here!). Things like 'I like his nose' can lead to 'he wrinkles his nose up when he laughs' can lead to 'he has a great sense of humour'. See?

My STBX has a cute nose... *sigh* <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

list of redeeming qualities? Look at the EN questionaire on this site. It should get you started at least...