Post deleted by rainbowbeliever

I am in a similar situation regarding believing what my WW says. I am not even sure I believe 50% right now.

You should snoop like a dog and expose. Tape your home phone, look at cell records etc. I debated exposing for a long time and finally did. There was still contact. I wish I had exposed earlier. You may want to look at my thread on Gen Questions board (it's "Need Support ASAP...". A lot of people gave me a lot of advice on that thread that could be helpful to you. You may want to repost on that board - you will get a lot more traffic on that board (maybe not on weekend, but during the week for sure).

Hang in there.

Post deleted by rainbowbeliever

I think you may have misunderstood what someone told you. Maybe you don't ask him about A all the time (per Plan A), but I would still quietly snoop hard. I would check everything, tape calls etc.

I can't imagine anyone thinks you shouldn't be snooping, just be real sneaky about it. You need to know all you can. H will lie to you (someone said: "If a WS's lips are moving, they are lying")

Did you tell OW's H is she is married?

And you should not believe anything he says.

I don't know, does Plan A mean you stop making inquiry? I'm not sure I could have executed a Plan A without many questions being answered, in one form or another. My FWW was aware of Plan A/Plan B, she actually did a lot of work too. So, maybe my situation is different???.. not sure.

But what I did want to point out is that we experienced a bit of ambivalence from the start of discovery and from time to time thereafter, sometimes for long stretches of time. During those periods of ambivalence, she would often withdraw any effort, or so it would feel.

So your WH may be a bit ambivalent. I think one of the goals of Plan A would be to eventually eliminate that ambivalence. But that does take time.

And lies were normal during the times of withdrawal. It's a habit that seems to take time to get rid of. I guess what you have to do is show appreciation when you know you are getting the truth. It's often counter-intuitive, but that is the only way to encourage it.