|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 297
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 297 |
[quote]I grieve for my hubby's impending doom or
Truly, Yup, a lot of similarities! Back to your comments about addiction as a disease... Although it's different than diseases like cancer, diabetes, or heart disease, there are choices we make that affect the course of all diseases. We all knowingly do things that are bad for our health but seem incredibly difficult to change.
All I can add is "there, but for the grace of God, go I"! LetsTry - You are a wise, wise woman and I admire you....
Older But Definately Happier and Wiser
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519 |
"Addiction is a decision. .....Am I going to be a pathetic dumbshit addict and continue to waste my life or am I going to say no and try to stay sover and be a decent Person. It is a decision. Each and every time. A decision. String enough of those decisions together and you set a source and you set a standard of living. Genetics do not make that call. They are just an excuse. They allow people to say it wasn't my fault. .....There is always a decision. Take responsibility for it...." That is so right on... Once we accept the fact that EVERYTHING in our lives is there because of our decisions (to quote Getty Lee, "...if choose not to decide, we still have made a choice...") - or lack thereof. It is called living with responsibility. It is a hard thing to do, because once we do this, all excuses are taken from us...and we are in ultimate control of our future...so when things don't go the way we wish, then we have nobody to blame... I am trying to shift my attitudes thusly. It is a hard paradigm shift to be sure. I am taking the whole victimhood that I relied on for so long and burying it. For good. TM
BH (Me) 32,
WW 38
no kids
been together 14.5 yrs.
married 9
D-day 12/5/04
D final 11/23/05, she got it all...I just wanted out.
Done with her...selfishness is not a virtue
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,707
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,707 |
OK, just a vent.
My DV was final 5/1, but I still don't have a property settlement because XH didn't show up in court. He missed his appointment with his lawyer the following week because he was (supposedly) in rehab. His lawyer called mine and asked if we could change the date of separation to a year later (conveniently making our marriage a longterm marriage of 10 years and a few days which would more easily qualify XH for spousal support!). My lawyer called me and then sent X's attorney a letter stating that I do not agree to this and she's welcome to bring it up at the property settlement hearing if she wants to...
Today, I got another call from my lawyer. XH's lawyer called again (my lawyer joked that she wouldn't return his calls, faxes, etc. for months, but now he feels like he's #1 on her speed dial). This time, she says she has some very bad news... XH has a brain tumor. She wants to make sure I have the COBRA info sent to him since he needs to see a doctor. Then, she says XH isn't drinking and wants to meet with me, alone, to make amends. I told my lawyer to tell her that if he wants to make amends, he can complete the property settlement.
I'm sorry IF XH really has a brain tumor and I'm happy IF he's really sober... it just feels way too manipulative that all this is coming now... MAYBE MOW has really stolen all his money and left him, MAYBE he's really sober, MAYBE he's got a brain tumor, MAYBE he really wants to make amends... at this point, I'm not buying it.
What I see is a desperate man who sees his financial support slipping away...
FBS, D'day 12/00 * NC since 5/02 * divorce final 5/06 * property settlement 9/06
What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has Magic, Power, and Genius in it. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
758
guests, and
65
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
