HI LetsTry~

I saw on another thread that your father passed away.
I wanted to tell you I'm very sorry.

I'm sending good thoughts/prayers your way.

So, trial date coming up in a week eh? Be strong LT!
I hope this will put final closure on your divorce and allow you to move on finally.

I will keep you in my thoughts.

Karona

Hi Karona. Yes, my Dad's death hit me really hard. I've been having a hard time getting back into the swing of things. My dad was a wonderful person who lived a long, full life. He died at 98, almost 99. He really never got over my Mom's death 10 years ago, but did his best to stay socially active and even did volunteer jobs - one good one was driving "old" people to their doctor's appointments, though he was older than all the people he drove!

It was hard to watch him grow weaker and weaker over the past few years until he couldn't do any of the things he loved. He quit playing tennis at 93, quit singing in the choir at church at about 95-6 when he quit driving, quit playing the piano and painting along with way because of arthritis in his hands, he was having more trouble walking and hearing so he stopped going out of his apartment much and stopped watching TV and listening to music, then he just read all day, and eventually, his eyes got so bad he couldn't even do that. He was ready to go, but I still miss him so much.

My court date is next Monday. I was playing phone tag with my lawyer today and never did talk to him, so maybe my H's lawyer finally contacted him. It would be great if we could settle some of this out of court, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I dread having to take the stand and testify... which I'll have to do the way things are now...

Thanks for thinking of me. I really appreciate it!

Update: I spoke with my lawyer this morning. WH's lawyer finally called him yesterday. She said exactly what I told him she'd say, that she can't get him to return her calls, that he won't come in for meetings, that he hasn't paid her, that she wants to get off the case, and she's going to ask for a continuance. Same old story. My lawyer says the judge will most likely grant at least 2-3 continuances. I told him WH will ask for all of them.

His lawyer asked about us having a meeting without WH, since he's basically crazy, or as she says, "disabled" due to substance abuse. WH tells her our business is worth "millions" (which is why I think she hangs on hoping to get an order for me to pay attorney's fees even though he's not paying her). Yeah, that's why I've lived in a used travel trailer with a generator for power for 1 1/2 years and he lives in a self-described "shack".

My lawyer says that even if the judge grants a continuance on Monday, he's going to at least ask for a divorce, even if we can't decide the property settlement. That would be something... not what I wanted, but better than nothing at this point.

So, I may actually be divorced on Monday...

(((((LetsTry))))

UGHHH! I can't imagine how you are feeling right now. Seems like there is light and then he shuts it off.
It/he makes me angry for you.
The whole thing is crazy! But, for small things, I hope for the divorce on Monday. At least you would be able to put that past you and have closure with that piece.

I enjoyed reading about your father. Your memories are vivid and well described, and I can vision this sweet tender man. He sounds like the kind of father a girl/woman would be proud to have had.
How amazing that he lived such a long, full life, and was so thoughtful of others.
I'm happy for you to have had a father like him and sorry for your loss too.

I hope for you brighter days soon, but I know it's a process.

I'm always around, and willing to listen if you need a friend.

Thinking of you,
K!

Karona, You know, I was furious at first, and then it actually started to seem comical. Maybe I'm just losing it, but this has already dragged on for 4 years - almost 5 1/2 since he moved out - and even though I haven't had contact in all that time, he's still so utterly predictable in his unpredictability.

Thanks again. I'll let you know on Monday if I'm divorced or not.

Glad you haven't lost your sense of humor!!

I will be waiting to hear.

K!

LetsTry

Sorry for the passing of your father. Sounds like he lived a good life with the woman he loved. He is with her now, take comfort in that...

You know, that is good. If you can step back, and sometimes laugh at what the WS does, then you are on the road to healing.

Keith

Thanks Keith. Yes, it's comforting to know they're together again. As for WS's, generally, they're about as funny as a heart attack - pun intended!

Al-Anon has been a big part of my personal recovery and they have a lot of great slogans and sayings. There's the Serenity Prayer - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... and WH is definitely one of those "things", Let Go and Let God - always one of my favorites, Easy Does It - good when I'm getting too worked up, First Things First - just do what's most important first and stop worrying about not being able to do it all, and One Day at a Time - focus on what I have to do today and don't worry about the future - all apply to this situation.

XH didn't show up in court so his lawyer got a continuance until July 15th for the property settlement. But, I'm divorced. His lawyer said OW left him and took all his money... not surprising. The last time his lawyer saw him, she told herself, "That's what death looks like." I'm sorry to hear that he's destroying his life, but I'm really ready to get on with mine!

I thought of you yesterday LT, remembering it was your day in court.

I don't know if "Congratulations" is the right thing to say, but I'm so glad for you that it's final, FINALLY.
You have waited a long time and now finally, this piece is behind you.

I do feel sorry for him to a degree. I have thought that about my own x sometimes. That if his w kicked him out, I would feel bad.
Your x must look pretty bad for his lawyer to make a statemnt like that. I'm sure that didn't bring any pleasure to you at all. It's very sad.

Thank you for bringing us up to date.
Did you feel a weight lifted?

So, on to 7/15 eh? At least they are making progress.

Take care LT!
K!

Hi Lets Try,
I am praying for you. I hope you can get this all resolved soon but I know it will really happen in God's time plan, not ours.

K, The date is actually 7/10, I rechecked it. No, I don't feel good about what XH has done to himself, but I have to admit I got a laugh out of the OW ripping him off... honestly, I've restrained myself in describing her, but suffice it to say, there's nothing surprising about this, except that she didn't do it sooner!

sunrise, Thanks for your prayers. I've totally accepted God's time plan on this, and there's a lot of peace in that.