Hi,

I just read your book HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS i found it to be very informative but i still cant seem to help myself. Just to give you a backround, my husband and I just got married 3 months ago, we are both 21. since we first started dating he was amazing, so caring and giving, i love it. though honestly i dont think i love him. my main problem is that i cant connect with him on an intellectual level. i dont find him interesting. it was ok at first, but now im bored. since the beginning of our relationship, i couldnt seem to end it because he is such a good person, i felt bad for him, and didnt have the heart to leave because it would crush him.
i find myself being with him mostly because i cant put him through pain. it has been going on without much of a problem for me but lately it has been affecting our sex life. i cant reach climax with him, but i know i can in general. i find myself attracted to another man(who is also attracted to me). i connect with him on every level. i find myself talking with him, and cant tear myself away. he invites me to lunches and to be alone with him, but i say no because it will lead to no good. i refuse because i cant be unfaithful to my husband, i cant hurt him like that. i feel like im in the middle of my happyness and his, i keep choosing his. do you think this relationship can be saved? what do i do?

desperate for help

Hi, izzy2 -

Did you ever have any intellectual interests in common? Do you read the same kind of books, or like the same kind of movies?

If I may say so without offense, you are both pretty young. This is a good thing - it means that you both have some growing to do.

What do you think he gets out of the relationship?

Regards,
rs0522