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Trix:

"Have you tried to implement Harley's suggestion to spend 15 hours undivided attention with each other? Do you think it is possible?"

Ac2ally, though I haven't measured it, I think we probably do pretty well in this regard. While the contact was blatantly continuing, of course, my W tried this approach 2 get my approval, but now that contact is likely over and withdrawal is almost certainly under way, it's not so ulteriorly motivated (is that a word? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />).

"It is part of his plan to fall in love...stay in love...to grow your romantic love back. I doubt she has to know why you are wanting to spend more time together."

I think she knows, but that's okay.

"Try to actually keep track how well you are doing in meeting the goal of 15 hours."

I haven't done this, but simply assumed I was doing a good job. Good idea, Trix.

"(She may already know of Harley's suggestion if you've discussed it or she's read any of his material or books.)"

We discussed it a few times, though not recently.

"Of course, she may be annoyed and think you are being needy, clingy, or a pest."

I think she's been annoyed, and from time 2 time may still be. But I'm so unclingy and unneedy that I couldn't be bothered if she is annoyed! ...I am still quite the pest, of course!

"Ideally, you would find ways to spend this time that would meet both of your emotional needs...conversation, recreational etc....you know... Ideally, you would POJA how this time would be spent. I don't think that TV and Movies count toward the time."

No, they don't. But we do try to talk about them during the movies while watching them. We could certainly do better, though.

"It may help make some progress towards a recovery...instead of the stasis (read: stagnation)."

I don't think it's stagnation, anymore, though progress is very slow.

-ol' 2long

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Weaver, this was YOUR fault! ...but I forgive you in advance, anyway!

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I am free to share them though, am I not?...and without having to quantify them? (per Tempest I am)


Of course you are free to share whatever thoughts you wish to share. That is NOT the issue in this case however. In this case you directed a question or two DIRECTLY AT ME and challenged me on what you felt was not a "Christian" or "Biblical" position in your view.

That's fine, but it goes beyond STATING something you believe, to challenging what I said (I assume I am also allowed to say whatever I want just as you want to retain that right for yourself), and your challenging me on my use of the word "WE" to be inclusive of Christians who have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior and who adhere to the Scripture as the Word of God. You claim to be a Christian in opposition to what I said and I responded simply, "then let's see what God has to say about it His Word and let God speak for Himself."

So what I "believe" or what you "believe" would seem to be of less importance that what God believes, wouldn't you agree with that? Opinions are plentiful, but we should go to the Source, the Scripture, when there is an apparant "conflict" of opinion, wouldn't you say?

So if 2long will forgive us for a brief sidetracking of his thread, I will comment briefly here, instead of on a separate thread, since you rejected that option.

Weaver, you said, "Me, as a Christian, believe that our sinlessness is guaranteed by God...therefore there is NOTHING to forgive!"

Weaver, you mix truths and misapply them to the situation at hand. We are NOT talking about forgness by God for salvation, we are talking about forgiveness for sins committed against us that the sinner repents of.

[color:"red"]"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses."[/color] (Matthew 18:15-16 NIV)

"Your brother" refers to another believer. In this case Jesus AFFIRMS that a believe CAN sin and IF he/she sins against you, you are to confront them in love with the fact that they sinned....in order to gain restoration. But to the point of your claim of "sinlessness," Jesus contradicts your opinion on this point. We are, as Christians, blameless before the Father because of Christ's shed blood, but we are NOT yet glorified and free from a sin nature. Until we do receive our glorified bodies we DO continually fight against our fallen nature...a nature that leads us to sin.

Want a further example?

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?
Jesus answered, [color:"red"]"I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."[/color] (Matthew 18:21-22)

Weaver, Jesus is affirming that believer CAN sin, and can sin repeatedly, and will need to be forgiven by you if you were the one sinned against.

[color:"red"]"If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."[/color] (Luke 17:3b-4 NIV emphasis added)

Two truths are taught here by Jesus, Weaver. One is that "brothers" can, and most likely will, sin against us, sometimes even repeatedly. Two, that when the REPENT, it is our duty to forgive them. NONE of these sins is a "sin unto death," but they are sins nonetheless as God defines sin.


"And judgment is for God alone, who does not judge. " There is too much on this subject to go into on 2long's thread, so let it perhaps suffice to say that the Matthew 18:15-20 passage (referred in part above) and the Great White Throne judgment are but two instances where a) the church on earth is given the authority to "judge" sin in the lives of professing believers and, b) that God WILL judge the entire world.


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You and I will never share the same understanding of forgiveness (or the purpose of) FH, although I did for a time after coming to this board try to understand your religious views...I know you will never try to understand mine.


It would be difficult, I admit, to "understand your religious views" if you refuse to state them. My religious views are there for the asking, so if you wish, feel free to ask. The "basis" for being a Christian is the Scripture and it's authority as the Word of God. Would you be in agreement or disagreement with that?

So I guess the final question would be what do YOU think is the definition of a "Christian" and how does that definition you embrace mesh with Scripture?

God bless.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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FH, my whole point was that your statement "we as Christians believe this:). No WE don't, maybe you do but WE definately don't.

My beliefs are all over this thread FH if you bothered to read them. You know I know the beliefs of most of the people who post all the time on this forum. Because I ask, no because I read, I listen, I care, I am interested...I appreciate.

What defines me as a Christian?

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I send my "forgiveness" up to the Holy Spirit (Jesus for me) to hold until the other is ready to receive it...and when he is, it will be there for him...for his healing as well.


This statement answers the question for you...I follow the teachings of Jesus.

And I already gave you my sources in the books I read, coupled with my expeience, the voice that comes to me in the quiet moments and my family.

Psst, newsflash FH... God doesn't have words...but Jesus does, unfornutately he didn't write the Bible though, for if he had I doubt their would be this much confusion over his two simple messages -

LOVE ONE ANOTHER
and
LOVE OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN AS HE LOVES US - totally, completely and without judgment.

My sources?

Already stated.

And thank you in advance for respecting, honoring and appreciating my beliefs... and my willingness to share them with you, even though they clearly differ from your own...us both being Christian and all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

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Sorry for all the mispelled words and poor grammar. I get all atwitter when I put my CA away for a moment.

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Dear weaver,

You're smack in the middle of a place I've been -- many times. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

:sigh:

I'll be back in a moment (as in: two paragraphs down, (or so) to discuss something with you...

ForeverHers,

When you write things like your thread: If you are struggling or having a "bad day" that's shown in your sig line... YOU SHINE like the brightest star! When you reach out to others who share your beliefs, you shine. When someone specifically asks a Biblical question, you not only shine, you excel. You know your Bible... you know what you believe... and you share it.

When you try to make others feel "less than" and/or "stupid" and/or "wrong" and/or "evil" for not believing *exactly* as you do... your light goes out.

I wish... you could see that. You have so much to offer...

:sigh:

weaver,

I feel compelled, as I often do in conversations including FH, to stand beside you and let FH know that he is not the only kind of Christian there is. I'm a Christian by belief (as in: I believe in Jesus and the Cross)... but there's a few things (from a dogmatic standpoint) that I disagree with ... and a few more things that I really, REALLY disagree with. Am I any less a Christian because of it? God knows my heart... thankfully... and it isn't up to anyone on earth to make that judgement. Again I say: THANKFULLY.



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2 2uote a favorite Peter Gabriel song of mine ("Lay Your Hands on Me") again:

"Sat in the corner of the Garden Grill, with the plastic flowers on the window sill.
No more miracles, loaves and fishes, been so busy with the washing of the dishes.
Reaction level's much too high - I can do without the stimuli.

I'm living way beyond my ways and means, living in the zone of the inbetweens.
I can see the flashes on the frozen ocean, static charge of the cold emotion.
Watched on by the distant eyes - watched on by the silent hidden spies.

But still the warmth flows through me
And I sense you know me well
No luck, no golden chances
No mitigating circumstances now
It's only common sense
There are no accidents 'round here

I am willing - lay your hands on me
I am ready - lay your hands on me
I believe - lay your hands on me, over me

Working in gardens, thornless roses, fat men play with their garden hoses.
Poolside laughter has a cynical bite, sausage speared by the cocktail satellite.
I walk away from from light and sound, down stairways leading underground.

But still the warmth flows through me
And I sense you know me well
It's only common sense
There are no accidents around here

I am willing - lay your hands on me
I am ready - lay your hands on me
I believe - lay your hands on me, over me
over me

Lay your hands on me
Lay your hands on me
Lay your hands on me, over me"

-ol' 2long <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

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ForeverHers,

When you write things like your thread: If you are struggling or having a "bad day" that's shown in your sig line... YOU SHINE like the brightest star! When you reach out to others who share your beliefs, you shine. When someone specifically asks a Biblical question, you not only shine, you excel. You know your Bible... you know what you believe... and you share it.

When you try to make others feel "less than" and/or "stupid" and/or "wrong" and/or "evil" for not believing *exactly* as you do... your light goes out.

I wish... you could see that. You have so much to offer...


NBII, let me get this straight, someone can call me wrong in what I say, advocate a position that may, or may not, be supported by Scripture, and if I ask for clarification on why they think I'm wrong....I am the "bad guy?"

In the case you are “coming alongside of” in support (Weaver), she “came after me” with her post. I was not addressing her but she felt compelled to tell me that I was wrong in my belief and that EVEN Christians, or in the case of her statement, ESPECIALLY CHRISTIANS, CANNOT sin after being saved and are in NO NEED of being forgiven for anything that they might do.

HOW, exactly is my responding to that an attempt to “try to make others feel “less than” and/or stupid for not believing exactly” as I do. How does that make my “light go out?” Is it your contention that “anything goes” whether it is biblical or not? Where is the responsibility of a Christian to “test the spirits” and see if they are “of God” or not?

When you write the following support for Weaver and attack on me;
I feel compelled, as I often do in conversations including FH, to stand beside you and let FH know that he is not the only kind of Christian there is. I'm a Christian by belief (as in: I believe in Jesus and the Cross)... but there's a few things (from a dogmatic standpoint) that I disagree with ... and a few more things that I really, REALLY disagree with. Am I any less a Christian because of it? God knows my heart... thankfully... and it isn't up to anyone on earth to make that judgement. Again I say: THANKFULLY. its’ interesting that you move the argument the same direction that Weaver intended to move it….to a question of SALVATION, and not doctrine or simple obedience to God’s Word.

I NEVER said anything about salvation other than to agree than anyone who accepts Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior in a true saving conversion IS A CHRISTIAN, sealed for all eternity (unless someone adheres to an Arminian belief that one can lose their salvation). But there does remain the issue of growth in Christ and in maturity in the faith. There ARE young believers and mature believers. So when I talked to Weaver about her stated position that believers are “sinless” and not in need of being forgiven by anyone, I was addressing “on what basis did she arrive that belief” and is it a biblical position or not.

IF that sort of discussion is “off limits” there are much bigger problems than whether or not “my light” might go out is someone’s opinion. Attacking someone is NOT my object. Clarity in Scripture and God’s teaching IS what I am “after.” I guess another way to look at is that there ARE a lot of religions and churches around who claim the name “Christian,” but who’s beliefs are anything BUT Scriptural. Should a Christian NOT question a position from anyone when it appears to contradict the fundamental basis of what a “Christian” is as stated in the Scripture?

I confess I am at a loss, so if I am blind to something in this area that you find offensive, please enlighten me. I could “care less” if anyone believes “exactly” like I believe, unless we are talking about what it takes to BE a Christian…and that is SOLELY “who is Jesus Christ and what is your relationship with Him?” A question I would ask anyone.


God bless.

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"Should a Christian NOT question a position from anyone when it appears to contradict the fundamental basis of what a “Christian” is as stated in the Scripture?"

Which scrip2re? Which of the 30 or so known gospels (including the recently identified gospel of Judas), from which the early Christian Church perhaps arbitrarily (but probably politically) downselected 2 4 2 keep in the New Testament?

No offense intended.

-ol' 2long

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LOL

you posted on GF's thread what I was thinking .... so thank-y two-two

Pep

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Which was that? The convo thing or the toilet running thing? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> (I'm kinda proud of that one)

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FH,

I didn't attack you, I merely stated that I, as a Christian do not take the same stance as you in regards to forgiveness, as that was what I thought we (posters on this thread) were talking about...and then you said "we, as Christians believe"

Wrong, you as a Christian believe one thing and I as a Christian believe quite another.

It's very simple really, and was not an attack...merely a stance and a clarification that not all Christians believe as you do.

Really FH you don't have to be so defensive. And God certainly doesn't need any defense, so what is the big deal?

You believe one way and I believe another way.

You really shouldn't lump all Christians together though...do you know how many different secs of Christianity there are in the U.S.?

And how many different paths to God? About a thousand, I hear.

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And how many different paths to God? About a thousand, I hear.


Weaver, I don't intend to carry this any further on 2long's thread. As I said before, if you'd care do discuss differing views, by all means do so a separate thread.

Your quoted statement above is indicative of what I mean. You are most certainly free to believe whatever you wish, as we all are. But Scripture makes it quite clear that there is only ONE "path" to God, and that path is through the "narrow gate" of Jesus Christ. So what you have apparantly "heard" is unbiblical to say the least, in MY humble opinion.


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I didn't attack you, I merely stated that I, as a Christian do not take the same stance as you in regards to forgiveness, as that was what I thought we (posters on this thread) were talking about...and then you said "we, as Christians believe"

That is precisely what I heard you say. And I have NO problem with you believing anything you want to believe, but I DO expect a Christian to be able to support their belief WITH Scripture and not mere opinion. Don't you?

Now your "stance" regarding forgiveness of others can be anything you want it to be and it WILL NOT affect your own salvation. That was never the issue. The "issue" was that you claimed that a Christian is "incapable of sinning against anyone" and therefore "not in need of any forgiveness" AFTER they became a Christian. If you want to believe that, that is fine. But I do think it would be nice to support such a "stance" with Scriptural teaching on the issue of "sin" by believers and "forgiveness" of sinners that the Lord commanded us to do. Don't you think so?

Or are you simply making the argument that what "makes" a "Christian" is merely their choice to call themselves a "Christian," regardless of what the Bible says defines a Christian? Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses, to name just two of the "sects" you may have been referring to, CLAIM to be Christian but do NOT accept the deity of Christ, as is a basic requirement of "traditional, historical, Christianity." So are Mormons and Jehovah's Witness to be "accepted" as Christian even though they deny basic tenets and doctrines of the faith "once delivered to the saints?"

"WE," to me, means Biblical Christianity. It IS exclusive of "sects" that claim the title of Christian but that do NOT believe what is clearly taught in the Scripture concerning Jesus Christ and HOW one is saved.

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FH,

Listen, I honestly was not attacking you or calling you a bad guy... but I will apologize for your feeling attacked. It wasn't my motive.

My motive is... what?... you know, I don't know. I guess it's to get you to see what I see. Kind of a dumb thing to do, considering I can't "get you" to do anything.

So how can I say what I want without it sounding like an attack to you? <shrug>

I guess it's this: I only know my own heart. I don't know yours, though you seem to be a genuine person... and I certainly don't profess to know the hearts of weaver or 2long... or Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons... or anyone else, for that matter... I don't know their hearts, God does.

I am not comfortable telling someone who believes in Christ, but questions other beliefs within the Christian faith, that they are wrong. It bothers me when other people do it, as well. So, I guess that's my "problem"... and it's not just with your approach, FH... this is something I've had issues with for years.

2long -- Forgive me for running off the rails with this... I'll be quiet now. <zipping lip>



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No worries, folks.

I have plenty of Mormon (OOSP is in Utah) and a few JW friends and acquaintances out there.

Are they Christians? Well, the ones I've talked 2 about that, at least, believe they are.

That's pretty much good enough for me. Whether they are or not, or whether it matters or not, isn't up 2 me 2 decide. It's a matter between them and their deity, isn't it? And if they profess that their deity is the same one you call "God", ...well, it beats the white off my @$$ why it's not good enough for you, FH.

-ol' 2long

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"Should a Christian NOT question a position from anyone when it appears to contradict the fundamental basis of what a “Christian” is as stated in the Scripture?"

Which scrip2re? Which of the 30 or so known gospels (including the recently identified gospel of Judas), from which the early Christian Church perhaps arbitrarily (but probably politically) downselected 2 4 2 keep in the New Testament?

No offense intended.

-ol' 2long


2long - Thank you. You "prove my point" most eloquently, even though that was not your intent.

YOUR example would advocate for confusion and "ecumenicalism" to the extreme...i.e., let them all in because they all claim to be some sort of "gospel."

Might one not say the same thing, for example, about teaching creation and a universal worldwide Flood in schools simply because they also are "other gospels" of how things got here and how things like fossils can be accounted for. Therefore they are "all" merely SCIENCE?

What say you 2long as long as you are arguing for "INCLUSION" as the best criteria regardless of anything else?

Interesting, I always find it interesting, that it seems as though ONLY Christianity is "fair game" for all sorts of attacks or heretical thoughts that "should" be accepted or included. Even South Park won't "dare" to put up so much as a picture of Mohammed lest the Muslims get offended, yet what is done to Christianity is done with NO regard to it's offensiveness.

Maybe it's because everyone knows that Christians do not kidnap innocent people and fly airplanes into buildings or cut off their heads SIMPLY because they don't agree with your "Fundamental Religion."

Here we go again, it would seem.

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but I DO expect a Christian to be able to support their belief WITH Scripture and not mere opinion. Don't you?

No, quite the opposite actually. When somebody starts spouting scripture to me I usually spend the rest of the conversation fighting the urge to cover my ears with my hands and run for the hill.

We teach what we are FH, no scripture required.

You should stop saying that anyone who takes a different stance than you is attacking you or Christianity as it is highly offensive and designed to bully the other person into silence I would think, or to intimidate them.

And when you say something I say is not biblical, well that means almost nothing to me as I did not list the Bible as my source for my beliefs. Although I do know it quite well, and even like parts of it. I grew up on it...my first memories as a very tiny child are of my relationship with God. I was a very happy little girl as long as I could pray and feel close to God, and that has not changed.

So as nb so very nicely wrote Christianity is something which is in your heart, a knowing. I couldn't get away from it if I tried, and believe me I have tried...but that guy in the sky just won't let me go. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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That's pretty much good enough for me. Whether they are or not, or whether it matters or not, isn't up 2 me 2 decide. It's a matter between them and their deity, isn't it? And if they profess that their deity is the same one you call "God", ...well, it beats the white off my @$$ why it's not good enough for you, FH.


Okay 2long, since you claim such confusion and would seem to argue for inclusion of JW's and Mormons in "Christianity" simply because THEY think they are "Christians just like anyone else and therefore have a right to that 'title'," let's carry this thought outside of religion for a moment.

I, ForeverHers, am an Evolutionist and I demand "equal footing" with all other Evolutionists. I DO NOT believe in Macroevolution, but I do believe in Microevolution, therefore, since "one is as good as another, I AM an Evolutionist. Furthermore, I'm a "nice guy," so that is enough to qualify me to TEACH my brand of Evolution in our schools REGARDLESS of what anyone believes "EVOLUTIONIST" means. I suppose you would "get on board" with my position and with my teaching it in public schools, right?

Please, 2Long, I expect better from someone who I disagree with primarily on issues related to God, but who I respect knowledge-wise and the ability to look at data. It is the INTERPRETATION of the data that can "set people apart," but the FACTUAL DATA remains unchanged.

So we are down to "philosophies and presuppositions," that underlie the "labeling" of someone a Christian or an Evolutionist or a Creationist, etc., wouldn't you agree?

CLAIMS to be something that, by general definition one is not, does NOT "entitle" someone to be "included" in that classification, in my humble opinion anyway. Isn't that the crux of the argument secularists make, for example, to keep the teaching of Creation as an answer the question of ORIGINS out of public schools?

Or perhaps we should include Muslims into the "Christian brotherhood" and call them "Christians" too, simply because they believe in "a" god but just call him Allah rather than "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."

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We teach what we are FH, no scripture required.

You should stop saying that anyone who takes a different stance than you is attacking you or Christianity as it is highly offensive and designed to bully the other person into silence I would think, or to intimidate them.

And when you say something I say is not biblical, well that means almost nothing to me as I did not list the Bible as my source for my beliefs. Although I do know it quite well, and even like parts of it. I grew up on it...my first memories as a very tiny child are of my relationship with God. I was a very happy little girl as long as I could pray and feel close to God, and that has not changed.


Very well, if NOT Scripture, then upon what do you choose Jesus Christ, who IS he, and do you have a personal relationship with him?

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)

The "narrow gate" instead of the "wide gate."

These are all biblical truths, but if you reject the Scripture, WHAT is your source for "revelation from God and the truth?" Hopefully it is NOT just a "feeling." We all here on MB, know just how "trustworthy" feelings are.

You wish to claim the title Christian. Fair enough. But that "term" is reserved to describe BIBLICAL Christianity and the Bible describes WHAT a "Christian is" and how one can know someone is a Christian. YOU choose to toss out the Scripture and "cover your ears." You are entitled to do so. But I would ask in all humbleness then, by what "right" do you claim a title that is described Biblically if you reject the Biblical definition?

With all due respect to your sensibilities, weaver, what you said to me;
"You should stop saying that anyone who takes a different stance than you is attacking you or Christianity as it is highly offensive and designed to bully the other person into silence I would think, or to intimidate them." is equally applicable to your statements and positions to me. You are attempting the same thing in arguing that "virtually any belief can be CORRECTLY called Christian." I find THAT "highly offensive" too.

But "offensiveness" is not the criteria and should NOT stifle discussion. I find Howard Dean, John Kerry, Tedd Kennedy, etc. to be highly offensive and misguided. There are others who may think that they "walk on water" and who believe in a similar vein. But just because I am an American also, does NOT give me the "right" to call myself a Democrat, much less a flaming liberal Democrat like those guys. I DO NOT believe as they believe and "offensive or not," while I CAN claim to be a Democrat, I DO NOT believe in what DEFINES a "basic Democrat." My appropriation of the "title" Democrat does not, ipsp facto, MAKE me a Democrat.

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I was gonna stay out of this, but here's my weakness -
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Might one not say the same thing, for example, about teaching creation and a universal worldwide Flood in schools simply because they also are "other gospels" of how things got here and how things like fossils can be accounted for. Therefore they are "all" merely SCIENCE?
Not science. ONE MORE TIME - Science deals with the natural world. Supernatural is off limits because it cannot be measured or tested. Period.

It hurts religious beliefs, IMHO, to attempt to portry them as fact and/or scientifically viable. Oil and water. To attempt to do so lowers "faith" to human capabilities. Try to portray the Bible in scientific terms and you will lose.

If we teach the worldwide flood in science class - other than to show it didn't happen - why not teach Stork Theory? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> It's just as believable.

WAT

Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
W
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
I follow "A Course in Miracles" FH, as I already told you, and I was raised on the Bible. I don't "reject" scripture, I just don't need someone spouting it off to me, and using it to tell me what is the "truth".

And if you tell me I don't "know" Jesus so I am not a Christian, you are saying something which is not true.

Now you are being hurtful to me, so I'll bring my CA back out and end this insulting conversation.

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