I have no trouble understanding how this could effect her in this way. I'm not at all certain, though, that hearing those words come from me will do her any good. Did you shrug God off? If so, how did you get back?

I can say that I felt a great distance between myself and God with my acting out. I didn't completely shrug him off, but a lot of the things I participated in I stopped doing. And it became difficult to listen to some of the sermons because it always felt like it was directed at you.

But I do know some SAs who because of the way they associate their father relationship to their relationship with God see God in a similar manner. They don't understand that God is the perfect father, whereas our fathers were born with sin and therefore had no chance to be perfect. Our fathers could not give us what God can give us. Especially for me because my fahter was an abusive alcoholic who my mother had to divorce when I was 2 years old and I never saw again until 3 months ago when he was in a coffin to be buried. So people form this image of God in their minds that he can't possibly love me, or care about me, or want me, or even want to restore me because I see God through a filter of my human father. So that is why it helps to affirm God's love and care and compassion to a person with SA because more of the time they had something in their childhood that wasn't right when it came to parental relationships. I don't know if that is the case with you wife, but I thought it might not hurt just to reaffirm God's love just to see if it would help her with church.

WW relates to her father more than she does anyone else, really. Personality wise, they're pretty close to identical. Her father didn't hold back his disappointment with her after he found out and she talked to him. He didn't hold back his love and support either. Hopefully, this lack of belief in God on her part is only a temporary thing.

I don't put pressure on her to go to church. I do let her know the invitation is open. I think the kids will apply plenty of pressure on that note. Before I found out about the As, she told me that she had stopped believing in God and asked "How can I talk to my kids about a God I don't believe in?" This was within a month of me finding out.

At any rate, thanks for your insights. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I will do what I can to reaffirm God's love, by word and deed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good luck to you.

See this is even one of those little things I'm talking about. God doesn't show disappointment in us. God may point out our sin, but he is not disappointed. If he does anything He says return to Me. He says He is jealous God when it comes to sin that takes us away from Him. He wants us close to Him so that He can share His love, mercy and grace with us.

If there is anything you want to know about sex addiction, feel free to ask. There is also a good website www.recoverynation.com that has some good information.

I appreciate your openness about it. I hate to assume that's what the issue is, SA, without getting the counselors opinion. I guess it's kind of like studying history when you're going to be taking a math test. I'm sure I'll be back to pick your brain, though. My very first thought when WW told me the number of As was SA. Silly of me or not, I said it to her. She doesn't think so.

But, we've got a lot of work ahead of us. We have a session tonight so we'll see what happens. I kind of have mixed emotions about tonights session, but I know WW did her homework from last week.

This emotional roller coaster reminds me of the roller coaster in Disney World. I can't remember the name, but I think it's in Epcot. Completely indoor roller coaster and 95% in the dark so you can't see where the turns are and can't predict when the pit of your stomach is going to introduce itself to the back of your throat. LOL

You are probably talking about Space Mountain. I love that ride. You can't see a thing are when you riding.

I'll keep you in my prayers about you session tonight. I know going to counseling is always a tough experience, but in the long run it's rewarding.

What does SA mean??? Sorry!

Sexual Addiction or Sex Addiction or Sex Addict. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Drexxell - Thanks! I thought it may be sexually abused. Which brings a question to mind. What about A's and sexual abuse during childhood - do you think there could be a connection there?

Absolutely. Statistically, people who were abused sexually are more prone to have affairs than those who were not. Futhermore, those who were abuse physically are also prone to them. Mainly because children can't really seperate the two physical traumas.

Furthermore, if you grew up in a blended family or your parents simply divorced, there's a higher risk. If you're in a blended family now, there's a higher risk. A blended family is one where one or both spouses comes from a previous marriage and one or both spouses brings children from the previous marriage into the new marriage.

Dr. Harley's companion books, "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters" address this somewhat. If you have not read them, I encourage you to do so.

Good luck. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

There can be a definate connection between sexual abuse as a child and affairs later as an adult if the childhood abuse was never treated properly.

SC,

Please go over to the recovery section and look up and post to Stunned Dad..... His W had an affair and was sexually abused. Further, he has done ALOT of research on this very question and in fact has since coming to this site become a trained and licsened (sp) counselor. He can help you.

God Bless,

JL