Is it common for the WW to say that all she was looking for was to find attention that she wanted. I will admit and have admitted to her that I did not show her what I was truely feeling. She still will not admit to doing anything other than what have been proven to her and that is just kissing. All of this as far as I know is been over a 4 month peroid of time. She has called 2 times saying that she was sorry for what she got caught for, but she still does not want to work on us. I told her that when I did nice little cards I told her that it was very hard not to do more but I was trying not to disrespect her and give her the space she wanted. she has told me that the things I have told her I would love to do for her would be nice but that I am now less attractive to her and she would be waiting on me to just go back to the same way of not doing things again. Would anything help her remember what she had and would plan b be a kick start to let her know that I will not be her security blanket?

any help out there?

IJW, there would be any number of folks willing to offer advice, but I suspect they have my problem. I can't find any recent thread where you outline your situation in detail. It's REAL hard to offer advice blindly. Why don't you do a recap of the whole thing from beginning to end and then ask for comments?

IJW, your situation sounds strikingly similar to my situation, which I talked about last October here:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=1&vc=1

The major difference is my wife wanted to work things out. Of course, she continued her A off and on even after she told me it was over back in September, but that's another story. You will have to give her time and space, but I will let the experts point you in the right direction once you tell them your complete story.

Good Luck.