We've been going through parental evaluation for a month now 4 months after she filed for D. On my way to my first appointment the the shrink I asked her for the reason that we were going through the eval. I said that we agreed at mediation back in 12/05 that we were going to split the kids 50/50. I'm sure she realizes that the kids need both of us. Anyway, she said that she was going to tell her attorney that she wanted to withdraw the motion from the court. That was 2 weeks before I found out on 4/14 (Good Friday), from my attorney, that she was pregnant. My jaw literally dropped to the ground. He asked me if there was any chance that it was mine. After counting back to myself in my head I said no. It wasn't until 3-4 hours later I remembered that I got snipped after my son was born (almost 3 years ago).

Yesterday I finally got a call from my attorney. He told me her proposed schedule and it wasn't even close to the 50/50 we arranged. It was more like 75/25. I told him no way and if I had a say that it would be the opposite. I keep looking for reasons and can come up with only 2. First, she is using the kids to fulfill her own regrets and loneliness or second, she is looking to get more child support so she can quite work because she can't stand the gossip at work. Either way, the kids are going to suffer. The thing that I'm most afraid of is the negative influence she is having on the kid's perception not only on relationships but also the fabricated truths she has told everyone including our daycare provider, the kids counselor, her family, and who knows who else, maybe even the kids.

My question is: Will her pregnancy have any bearing with the parenting evaluation and more importantly the court in determining parenting time?

Help

Duuuuuuude...

Maybe the angle that as a very pregnant woman, or as a brand new mom, she'd have difficulty giving the other kids the attention and parenting they deserve? I mean, new babies take a lot of work and you lose a lot of sleep...especially if she's doing it all herself.

If you can work that angle you might be able to make 75/25 (in your favor) be the initial split. Then you would have inertia on your side because she'd have to fight to change it.

But then I'm not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV.

The kicker is that she is "planning" on marrying the guy who knocked her up. My limited experience is that rebound relationships don't work especially to someone who is 17 years older than her. The main reason she is divorcing me is because I couldn't "be there" for her and that I couldn't "live for the moment". Sorry, but I was too caught up in raising a family. If I were only thinking about myself I would have left her after I found out about the A and not drag it out so long. It was her choice to get the D and there was nothing I could say to change her mind. Sad thing is that she couldn't even enjoy the "freedom" to be single that she wanted so bad because she made another bad choice.

Oh, for sure, you want a paternity test!

I'm sorry. My husband went through this with his exwife. She was pregnant by OM before their divorce was final. She didn't have to appear at the divorce hearing though so I don't believe the judge ever knew she was pregnant- or if he did I wasn't told about it.

In some states you have to answer that you're not pregnant or certify that you're not. I had to when I got divorced. I would agree you need a paternity test so that she can't pin the support of this child on you at a later date.

She wants to get this over with quickly so she can marry OM. I bet if you push for 50/50 you'll be able to get it.

Good advice. I'll bring it up to my attorney.

How the heck could you ever forget something like that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I agree that you should find out definitively whether the child is yours. "Snipping" is not 100% effective by any means.

I'm not sure what your parental evaluation all entails but, I don't think it should tip the scale in favor of one parent or the other unless there are some major issues involved.

If one parent wants the other to have less than 50/50 they are going to have to convince the court that they are justified in their reasoning. That means proving that you are incapable of managing 50/50 or that you are a life/safety risk in some way, shape or form to your child(ren).

Please do clear up this situation soon. If you're still married you can be considered the legal father of this child.

[color:"purple"]Heartmending is right - as the legal husband you could be assumed to be the father.

You could have your lawyer file a petition preventing her from putting your name on the birth certificate until a paternity test is performed.

Your custody situation can go many different ways depending upon the judge and the state.

See - the judge may think that a woman that doesn't work can devote more time to the children.

Where are the children now? Do one of you have them most of the time now? Or are you still in the marital home?

V. [/color]