MM:

Sorry 2 hear, but at least your choices now are clear.

Please try 2 remember that there's a distinction between the "evil" DJ and if you had simply said she's "angry" or "venomous" or something.

She sounds pretty lost 2 me, though. And it's only up 2 her whether she'll find herself or no.

Troll will really help in that regard, because as you know, he can't possibly meet all her needs for long (like for her family). But, from what you described, it seems clear that the A never ended, it had just gone deeper underground.

best,
-ol' 2long

2Long,

Pretty true. But I do have to say that what I saw was evil...at least for those few minutes. It actually was a little scary. I didnt call her "evil" to her face. But I have never seen that before...or heard the kinds of things she was saying. Mostly about herself.

I actually do not care now what goes on with her and the Troll. I do care for the fact that she will present the Troll to the kids and they will have to deal with him. I am VERY certain that she will ride this train right thru divorce and marriage to the Troll. She will do so because of pride, because this is all about anger and hurting me. She will do so because she doesnt want to be told by ANYONE what she should do. She will do so, because that is how her Mom and Dad met (her mom was her dad's secretary...and they were both married to someone else). She has a bunch of half-sisters and a half-brother. This will happen because the Troll lost his wife and kids to a guy who screwed around with his wife and then married her. So, right after that happened, he moved to Virginia and immediately got himself involved with my wife.

So, I have no doubt she is gonna ride this train down that line. They both have people around them that they can look to in order to show them the way they did it.

Do I believe it will last? Nope. But that is of no consequence, as I will be divorced from her, she will have married the Troll, and she will have brought him around the kids. That leaves NO CHANCE for her to ever be in my life again. None.

So, the issue I have is the same one outlined by FH in the other thread. The anger I have toward this blatant sin and toward the damage done to my wife, to my kids...and to me...makes this soldier want to stand up and make things right. I have to say that this is one pissed off grunt right now! And it would not take much for me and the Troll to go head-to-head. That would NOT end well!

I am looking at Jesus right now, because if I turn away for one second right now...some people here may reap the whirlwind! Like I said...I am one pissed off grunt.

More later...

In His arms.

MM,

I am so sorry to see things have gone this way for your family.

You are right about one thing, one day she will feel the consequenses of her actions and it won't be pretty. But you will have moved into a better place and be happy again.

God Bless you and your children......


Hurting

MM,

I am sorry to hear how things have gone. Since we can't control the Ws' even for their own safety, letting them go is the next best option. Keeping yourself, family and support group entact is vital for your personal recovery. You know the ropes..... I am sorry the WS is clinging to the skin of the WS. Time will weather is all. You and your family will move forward with dignity and grace you deserve.

My heart aches for the pain I read in your posts and yet I am sooo far away. Know that our love and support are pulling for you from all corners of the globe. That mothership and her crew don't stand a chance to the love and support you receive all around you and from above.

Hugz,
L.

Prayers...more prayers coming my soldier.

Please lift him and the precious children up friends. Lift up his WW and pray the Lord grants wisdom and can shine it right thru that heavy fog.

Mortar, find my old email addy...email me. I know what this is like...the whole stubborness of the WS and how it can drive them to the OP...my xh was just like that.

But I am so relieved the courts ruled in favor of the truth...I am glad for that...although there isn't much joy ever from a divorce court decree.

You are an incredible man and dad. A man who has earned the respect of his family and friends. You have done all you can do. I salute YOU!!!!!

I remember the first time I appeared in divorce court. It was valentine's day. )n the bench in front of me somebody had carved a cross. A big cross. It showed me that I was not alone in that sad place. I remembered that My GOD love me and my child! I repeated over and over to myself until it was time for our case to go before the judge this verse:

"Therefore put on the FULL ARMOR of GOD so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to stand you ground. And AFTER HAVING DONE EVERYTHING....TO STAND."

It was my peace. My promise from my God. It told me what the future held for me. That if I was armed properly that I would hold my ground for my family. And if I used that armor, that just weaponry, and I stood my ground faithfully and did everything in my mortal power to hold that ground, I would be left standing after this fall. After this battle.

I am standing today. You will stand also. Good work. You are amazing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God has great things planned for you and the children.

Forget the Troll and the WS alien. for now at least. You deserve a rest.

MM,

I am so sorry to hear this. Do you recall me saying on this site many times and perhaps to you, that it was my observation that when big decisions had to be made, they were essentially made for me. All I had to do was look at the data.

MM your big decision has been made for you. You are a lucky man. I realize you don't realize it now, but you will. You will never regret the marriage and the divorce. You have been brought to the point that the decision has essentially been made for you. Do you suspect that perhaps there was/is some plan at work? Consider this question carefully.

I know you are very sad for what might have been. But, I think you should begin to realize that what will be offers you more hope, perhaps happiness, and for sure peace. You KNOW the correct decision now. You have given it 4 years and now the answer is obvious.

I know you are angry, hurt, frustrated, and much much more. But, you should also be greatful, and hopeful.

Grateful??? I am glad you asked. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You have wonderful kids that you love and love you. You have had one successfull career and will have another. You have had the pleasure of knowing and marrying and loving your W while she was at her best. You will have NO regrets about the decisions being made concerning your marriage.

Hopeful! You have a new world ahead of you. You will meet new people, and many of them will enhance your life. You have learned much, even in the course of the last few weeks with the input of many people here.

Please consider these things.

God Bless,

JL

Wow, JL. Great post. And many of us -- well, me, anyway -- will be taking that to heart in our own lives tonight.

Tuning in to your situation late, MM, but thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Mortar - My prayers to you, my brother. My guide.

Thanks for your guidance through my ******. I am through part of it. (divorced for a month and a day, now - still a custody and other legal issues to deal with).

You told me - Harley told me - that if I continued to Plan A my asss off that I would burn out the ember faster, and it would make recovery easier.

I took off the ring about a week or so ago. My feelings are gone. I am open to considering reconciliation in the future - because that is the best thing for my kids. But I do not see it happening, and have actually developed a bad taste in my mouth. No more BS.

Brother - you led me through my ****** - so I know you know what to do.

I will pray for you. Seems you have a good support team - but if you need another write back and I will email you.

I heard Captain Charlie Plum speak a few weeks ago. He said so many things that we MB'ers would appreciate - "It is a valuable thing to be shot out of the sky once in a while." and many others. "Adversity is a terrible thing - to waste." He was a Viet Nam POW for 6 years.

I know that you are trained the way he was.

We've got your back. I will offer my prayers up for you.

FAR

MM,

WHat an awesome post by JL. Wow.

Man I am so sorry for your loss here. I am in tears reading your story.

MM I really admire and look up to you. God will bless you. I know this is not all for nothing. I pray for God to richly bless you.

BK

MM,

I won't pretend to be able to console you, but I wanted to share an experience.

I took my kids to church yesterday morning. It was the 3rd Sunday of Easter celebration, the renewal of baptism. While I could disect the sermon, I will just say the one thing that repeated itself in my head after we left was, "I will, with God's help."

By reading your posts, I know that you know what I have known, forgotten and remembered. God doesn't want us to walk it alone and he will help us so long as we ask him to. May you know the Lord's peace.

Thank you Hurting! As David lost 4 of his sons because of his infidelity...I just wonder how bad it will be for her. I do know it will be bad, as my God is a God of justice. But what she and the Troll reap will not be pretty. Unfortunately, it will splatter on my kids...and I cannot protect them from that. I feel sorry for them. For their loss. For the fact they will probably never have the mother they should have had. For the fact that she will bring the Troll and their seedy mess around them.

They will be forced to live in that...but they will never accept him. My kdis are great kids. They will behave, they will listen. They will show respect to whomever she brings into their lives.

But they will never accept him. And that is a very sad thing for them, to have to live in that environment, knowing that their mother preferred him over their well-being. It will be a constant reminder to them of her betrayal to their father, to God...and to them.

I can escape her mess now. Unfortunately, in many ways...they cannot.

In His arms.

Send Me...thanks!

In His arms.

For all that offered prayers...thank you. Believe it or not, they were and have been felt. It actually is amazing. As I headed to court, I had this very distinct calm come over me. I stepped out of my vehicle, walked into the courthouse...and felt...nothing. Just calm. It actually was a little weird, to tell you the truth.

My wife called it later that I am cocky now. But it aint that. What may appear to her as cockiness now, is nothing more than the fact that the Lord has saved my butt so many times...that I am confident of the fact that He will be there in everything before me. She has no such assurance!

Anyway, thank you for the prayers. It was almost as if the Lord showed up on the way to court and said "Hey, a few of your friends asked me to show up...so here I am."

Anyone ever see the movie "Behind Enemy Lines"? One of the pilots is caught behind enemy lines, after being shot down in Bosnia. His pilot was assasinated. He is running for his life, hiding amonst dead bodies...walking into towns not knowing who to trust. Many times, he was cold, hungry and tired on a mountain or in the woods.

But always, always...he trusted that US forces would come get him. For awhile, he had a radio. And he would talk to the Admiral back on the aircraft carrier. The admiral just kept telling him what to do...and always ended with "we will come get you!"

This is how I have felt these past 4 years. Interestingly enough, this all started when I went to Bosnia (weird connection, I know).

This pilot found friends along the way that helped him. He trusted in his training and in his fellow service members...even after he no longer had his radio...that they were out there and they were coming to get him.

The last scene started with the admiral himself going on the rescue mission. He didnt send others...he went to get his boy himself. The last scene, with the forces that were trying to capture him hot on his heels, the pilot made a last stand on this hill. It was there, that he trusted that the radio beacon o nthe ejection seat that had landed there would still call the forces in. He had no idea whether the message was being received.

Eventually, the bad guys show up and begin shooting at him. It all looks rather hopeless...and he has no idea if anyone is coming or will make it in time. He has not contact with the good guys. And it is then...when there is no way to save himself...no way to win...that the good guys come out of no where and begin to destroy the enemy...and take the pilot back home.

The admiral lost his position and was forced to retire because he had gone in when he was ordered not to (because of political considerations). The admiral risked his own life, as well as those others that came along with him...risked their lives for one man. The admiral lost everything he built to save the life of one man.

I see that in what has happened to me. Over and over, I have heard the Lord's voice (the radio). Over and over again, there have been "friendlies" that have come alongside to help me stay one step ahead of the enemy (Satan). And it has come down to where I had to make my last stand and trust in the fact that He said He would never leave me, nor forsake me. He would come get me.

And He did. He did it 2000 years ago when He had to leave the safety of his aircraft carrier (Heaven) and come down here and risk everything to save me. To rescue me. In His case, He actually did lose His life to save mine.

Just Learning is right...there has been a plan all along! Many times, I had NO idea what was going on around me. Had no idea if I was going to make it thru the day.

It is no accident that everytime the enemy has had me cornered, that it has been the enemy that has been defeated.

Anyway, sorry about the rambling. Buyt I want all of you to know, that whether you believe in Him or not...you have been a part of a bigger plan. One in which He orchestrated.

You all have been used by God in order to help save one man. For that...I am grateful to Him...and to all of you.

In His arms.

One more note out of all of the posts...

JL, I do remember you telling me about my decisions really presenting themselves. You told me that early on in this trial. It has been so true.

I know the things I need to do now. And I know now that this battle is over.

In His arms.

MM,

For as much as you talk about God, it sure seems to me that you are sounding bitter and self righteous and missing what one of your next challenges is that is rapidly coming before you. If you end up divorced and she ends up with the other man (I think you use the word ("troll") then it WOULD BE BEST for the kids to make up their own minds about him. I know you don't want to hear this, but it is entirely POSSIBLE that they COULD actually like him. If you are following Christ as you say you are, then he tells us to LOVE our enemies. Your attitude is not one of love toward this man, and it is THAT attitude that your children will pick up on, which IS YOUR MISTAKE. You can point fingers at this man and your STBXW until the end of time, but until you can understand that she is STILL their mother and loves them just as much as you do( and probable really DOES care about their well being) and learn to accept that fact, then I believe that you are also rejecting Christ just as much as you say she is. If she ends up with this guy ("troll", it is HER choice. She is still their mother and still will want to see them. She WILL WANT them to like him because SHE DOES. That is not a BAD thing. He IS probably going to be around whether you like it or not. It IS in their best interests for ALL of you "adults" to work together to make it as best it can be regarding the circumstances. I think you need to stop trying to make it sound like it is "your God and not "her God" also. Do you WISH for their unhappiness and for the children to NOT be happy or have peace and enjoy spending time with her (and Troll)and him?
Why can they not have all people involved working TOGETHER to make the best of the situation? I don't get it..

Your wife and OM may NOT work out. However, they MAY. Nobody knows for sure whether they will or not. The fact is that IT DOES NOT MATTER AT THIS POINT. It will or it won't.
Make the best of it for your children by YOU being the one to encourage that all of you try to get along and make the best of whatever the situation is.....

MM -

You have been in my prayers all weekend. I am truly sorry for the pain you have experienced, the pain your kids are experiencing, and even the pain your WW is experiencing. I am glad that you are finding peace in the one and true God. You have been, and continue to be, an inspiration to so many of us on these forums.

I liked your analogy with the movie Behind Enemy Lines - it was very good. Here's a random bit of trivia about me for your (hopefully) amusement. The Navy squadron that gave technical support to that movie was my last duty station - VX-9. Though I believe it was the Point Mugu detachment, not the main squadron out of China Lake. Anyway, it was filmed after my time with the squadron.

You've held the line to the best of your ability. You now stand relieved of this battle - HQ has it under control, even if we don't know what the eventual outcome will be. Take care of yourself and your boys.

KeepMovn,

Alot in your post to ponder. Some very good, and I believe I do have some things to work on. Some in here is off the point. But let me just dig in here.


Bitter? Sure...maybe. The wounds are still open. So, some of my vents may just be that...reacting to pain. Do I knwo the road ahead for me and the challenege you talk about? You had better know that I do, because it has been my kids overall that has motivated me thru this.


It would? So, if I found out my pastor didnt actually believe in Scripture, would it be okay for me to continue to send them to church and him preach to them...and let them make up their own minds? Come on! The Troll is a heathen who has helped break up a family. He knows not God, nor character or honor. I was given the job by God to make sure these kids were raised properly. Not my wife. not the Troll. God holds ME responsible! And me only. So, you talk about the adults involved. But God doesnt hold my future wife, or the current Mrs. MM, or the Troll responsible for my kids' upbringing. It is my responsibility and my duty! And if anyone knows anything about Mortarman, it is that he takes his duty seriously.


Like? Sure. There are people they get along with that arent good for them. So what? They are CHILDREN! They may LIKE the local drug dealer on the corner. He may be a really nice guy. Plays basketball with them. Buys ice cream for them. Shoot, even showed them how to finish their homework! But...the guy on the corner is a DRUG DEALER! That means, he is BAD for my kids...no matter if he is a "nice guy" and they "like" him. As their father, it is my responsibility to guide them thru life, to help them make the wise choices. To look at somethigng or someone and understand right from wrong. Not let them make up their own minds. How can they? As children, they dont have enough knowledge and/or experience to make up their own minds.


HHhhmmmm?!?! You do have a little bit of a point here. I am not at the point of forgiveness for this man. I know it...and Christ knows it. Jesus is working on me on that. And because I put Jesus first, I have no doubt that the Troll will receive forgiveness from me. But that doesnt mean that I accept him into my home, or that I accept him into my kids' lives. Forgiveness is NOT the same as acceptance.


I have no doubt my wife loves our kids. I have no doubt about that. but here's the rub...she loves someone more than those kids...and that person aint Jesus and it aint her husband. She loves herself more than she loves ANYONE. So, as much as I know she loves the kids...they do not come high enough in the priority list for me to trust her. She has abandoned them THREE times in order to be with the Troll. So, how much she feels for them in her heart doesnt make a difference to me. What she has done to them, and what she would probably do again...is what concerns me. She is no role model for my daughter. And she wants to bring the Troll into their lives to. My kids will have to live in that heathen household, and be forced to accept living conditions that my wife before the affair would have NEVER accepted for her children. If I had done years ago what she has done the last 4, you had better believe she would have made sure that the OW would have stayed far away from our kids.


Sure. But that's like saying "if she wants to do crack, it's her choise." Sure, it is her choice. But it is a BAD choice. It is a choice that our children should know is a BAD choice. Scripture says it is a BAD choice. Thus...it must be a BAD choice!


And? When she left us before, she still got to see them. No problem. My problem is that they will have to live and be guided in a household that includes her AND the Troll. One where Jesus is not the focus. One where doing right, doing the moral thing, having character...is NOT the central motivating factors. Instead, it is a household driven by what do I want and what can I get. And if you dont give it to me, then I willdo whatever it takes to get what I want. Now tell me that is a good environment to send my kids into.


And? Just because she likes them doesnt mean they should. Again, what is he was a serial pedofile? But she likes him. Should they have to like him? You see, although the pedofile does damage to a child sexually, the Troll and my wife have and continue to damage them emotionally thru what they continue to do. All of the research shows that. Scripture states that.


Of course it is. You see, if my wife had decided to jsut divorce and move on and brought someone else into their lives, then I could agree with you (provided the guy wasnt someone seedy or criminal or the like). But they know who this guy is. They know what he has done. they have seen the changes to my wife because of their relationship. he represents to them why their family is breaking up. It aint fair for them!


Probably.


It is in the best interest of my kids to work with my wife in order to look out for them, and for me to continue to raise them the way we started. If that means that the life at the Troll's house stands in stark contrast to the Mortarman house, then so be it. White washing this mess and trying to make the kids think its okay does nothing but make Dad a hypocrite also. It is as if I am condoning their actions. And condoning our kids being in an environment like that. NO!! They need to understand that although their family has been broken up, they need to know that they can do better in their futures. And they do better by NOT going down the road their mother has and NOT bringing people like the Troll into their lives.


Aaahhh. I have never said that. If she is indeed saved (which is in doubt right now), then our Father is not happy with her. She is in rebellion to Him. She doesnt care what He wants for her or her children. This is the distinction between her and I. The foot of the Cross is level. I am no better or worse than anyone else there. If she was indeed at the foot of the Cross, then we wouldnt be having this problem.


Of course not. But, unhappinees and confusion is going to ensue because we have brought them up one way, and now they will be forced to live another. Check this out...my daughter coems home one day crying. Her boyfriend (let's saying they are in high school) has tried to come onto here and is pressing for sex. She was raised to know that it is wrong, outside of marriage. But she shows up that day at the Troll's house. Now, who in that home can speak to her concerning this? The Troll? My wife? Pullleeease. They will still be living in sin. So how in the world will they be able to advise my daughter in that very critical juncture? And then when she gets ahold of me, then I might be the bad guy because I continue to try to help her enforce her boundaries. But my wife's example is one of "who cares what God wants." That kind of battle should NOT be going on in a child's home. So, she ends up either looking at her mom and step-dad as hypocrites, which causes problems in her household. Or she decides to just follow her Mom's example, and that creates problems with her and me. So far, I have been able to protect them from all of this. I demanded that the Troll never be around them over the last 4 years. I have talked to them about marriage, divorce, adultery, etc. I have told them what God expects and what I expect. I have been able to shelter them from much of this mess. Sure, my wife could take off and do whatever she wanted to. But, I was going to do my damndest to make sure that her sleezy life didnt rub off on the kids.


The troll cant make the best decisions for my kids. he is selfish, he is a heathen. He has helped destroy their family. He doesnt care a lick about them. My wife cares for them, but cares for herself more. So much so, that she has been willing to be an immoral woman and no real mother the last 4 years. Now, how in the world am I supposed to support their relationship with the kids? I will not enable and I will not condone that mess that will be created between the two of them. Neither of them are held responsible by God in the raising of these kids. I am!


Like I said, if she marries anyone else but him, then this is possible. It is not possible with him. Even after forgiveness of him. He is not someone I would ever leave my kdis with at school, on a baseball team, etc. So, I now have to accept and support them being with him on a day-to-day basis? Someone I would NEVER, EVER allow around them under normal circumstances.


I thank you for these. As I said, I still have bitterness and anger to work on. I have been talking about that for weeks.

But I stand with my family. My wife wants to leave the family and shack up with the heathen Troll...then so be it. But this family stays intact. She can choose to leave the family. I will continue to protect it and everyone in it.

In His arms.

Thanks BB!! Time for some R&R! And dont forget my girl! My boys are jealous some of the time on how much she is treated like a princess. I feel sorry for that first poor boy that wants to take her out to the movies. I'll try not to be too hard on him. But, that boy will remember me! She will always be my little girl!

In His arms.

MM

My prayers continue for you and your family. You have fought a hard fight over these last years and I admire how you have taken care of the kiddos in all of this. They are very Blessed to have you as their father. My heart hurts for them as a mother, however the love and care you have shown for them here will help them to navigate through the next years.

It seems on some of the posts they have a hard time with hearing your pain and some bitterness. I am sure as you have worked on everything else this you will also deal with. I am always amazed at how others expect the BS to not have any of the tough emotions especially ones who are Christians. Our MC just told me this week that because I am hurting by what my spouse did to me than I am interfering with my relationship with Jesus. I have forgiven my s however the pain is still there though it lessens with time.

You have been an inspiration in you walk. Thank you for sharing one of the most difficult times in your life with the rest of us.

keepmovn4wrd -


Since when does God call us not to be bitter? It's a natural human reaction to what has occurred in MM's (and so many other people here) life. It is not self-righteous to call sin sin.


Love your enemies? Yes, certainly. We are called to love everyone, as Christ loved us. Love their actions, or condone them? I don't think so. God loves us, even when we sin. He doesn't love the sin. He hates it.

Am I to love the OM in my situation? Sure. Forgive him? Sure. Approve of or condone his actions? No way. No more than I can approve of or condone my wife's actions with the OM, and no more than I can approve of or condone my actions in the past that led my marriage to the state it is in.


IMHO, any parent who would sacrifice the well-being of their kids for their own selfish desires (which an affair definately is) certainly has a funny way of showing that they care about their kids' well being. As is often said on these forums, actions speak louder than words.


Words fail me here. I cannot follow your logic at all on this one. She chose another man to give her love to, sacrificing her marriage, spitting on the vows she swore before God and family - and it is not a bad thing for the kids to like this man? Simply because their mother does?

These boys have had their entire world shattered before them, through ABSOLUTELY NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN! They did nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to deserve the destruction of the family that they were born into! They are completely innocent in this entire mess. Kids are incredibly bright. They are not oblivious to what happens in their lives. This man, by nature of his actions, has shown himself to have no integrity, no honor, and no respect for other people. Definately not a role model I'd want my kids to look to, let alone like.

Note that MM stated that his kids will respect adults. He's not asking them to be brats or rude or disobedient to them. He recognizes that his WW will always be their mother - nothing can change that. But her actions will speak for themselves, and I'm willing to bet there will be a lot of repair work ahead for MM's STBXW if she wants to have even a chance at a normal relationship with her boys.

My wife's parents divorced when she was nine, and her mom made some bad choices - my wife and her mom didn't repair their relationship for nearly a decade.

I'll stop here on this sub-point, becuase I'm starting to get really pissed and may say something in haste that I'll regret later...


By consequence of her actions, she has denied her God. She claims to be a Christian, but has continued to live in sin. Have you not read the posts on here? I suggest you re-read what MM has said, and what ForeverHers has said. There is no gray area when it comes to serving God. You either do, or you don't. It's that simple. If she was truly serving her God, MM's God, she would repent of her actions and submit to God, as MM has, and return to her marriage.

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone sins. Being a Christian doesn't make us sin-free. IT does, however, call us to a higher standard, and part of that standard is to not dwell in sin.

You quoe extensively from Luke. That's cool - anyone can quote the Bible (even the Demons do) - and history is full of examples of humanity using the Bible to justify all sorts of evil and wrong.

So let's take a look at what you quoted, and I'll see if I can bounce some of what I know of MM's situation and his actions against it. It should prove enlightning.


His wife has acted in a hateful manner to him, has cursed him, and spitefully used him. Yet for the past 4 years he has continued to love her, continued to work on himself to make himself the man God calls him to be, and the husband his wife deserves to have.

Ok...so he hasn't invited OM out to go drinking or have a BBQ. He also hasn't acted on his very human impulse to beat the living crap out of OM. OM is a threat to his marriage and his family. Showing love to the OM and welcoming him would not be protecting his family, and it would be condoning sin.


MM has been doing good, he has been lending (just look at his numerous helpful posts to so many here, for one example). He has been kind and merciful to his wife, just as God calls him to be.


MM has called his wife on her actions - her actions judge her, not MM. He has condemned her sin, not her. He has given, given, and given again - and he has received. He has received the peace that surpasses understanding, even if he hasn't received what he wanted - the return of his wife.

Or perhaps you were looking at much more literal interpretaion of "Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back.", and suggesting that God is telling MM to give his wife to the OM because he wants her?

MM is coming at this situation from a Christian perspective, and has, to the best of his ability, been acting in accordance with God's Word. He is human, and he does make mistakes. But he is most definately not acting in the manner that you seem to be implying.

Sorry for the minor threadjack, MM. You're capable of defending your position much better than I can. I just couldn't let this one simply go by...