Well, I think I have made the decision to get off this merry-go-round of a marriage but don't know how. We had been married 15 years (yesterday) and have 3 children -- D13, B8, B8. My husband this morning said I should pack my bags and leave it that is what I want but that he is not going anywhere.

I am the primary breadwinner in the house and also provide the primary care to the kids. I have no family in the area so if I leave I will be at a hotel until a more permanent solution is arrived at. Of course, it would be so much easier if he would leave the kids and I at home but that is out of the question. If I leave and go to a hotel with the kids he will call the police. If I leave without the kids I am afraid it will hurt my chances of obtaining custody later not to mention they will think I abandoned them.

Any advice on how to do this? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Except for cases of domestic violence, I wouldn't leave my home. Whatever you do, Don't leave your kids! It does give him an advantage with custody. Talk to a good lawyer immediately.

That's right. Take no action at all until you see a lawyer. If you leave the house, you could be giving up claim to it as communal property. Absolutely, do not leave the children.

Other than that, we can't really advise you because it depends on your state. In some cases, it can depend on the judges in your district and how they tend to view matters.

What you can do is move out of the marital bedroom and stop going to social functions together. Drive two cars if necessary.

If you can afford it, you should also consider family counseling for the kids. This could be especially beneficial if you have to remain in the house with your H for the duration of the divorce process.