Who should pay the attorney and other costs associated with the D? 50/50? What if one spouse doesn't want the D and has offered another option (reconciliation, MC, MBuilders, other) that may cost less in terms of money, pain and damage to the family. On the other hand, the spouse wanting out of the M may say that both spouse are jointly to blame for the bad state of the M that causes the one spouse to want a D, so they should each pay their share.

Thoughts? (I know where I stand, but I may be biased <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> and want to keep myself open to other viewpoint.) Thanks

I think the one that wants the divorce should pay for the divorce.

bumping for more opinions .... thanks


(My D was final a while ago, but XWH still complains about having to pay about 3% of my D costs.)

I don't think it's a matter of who "should" pay for it, but who WILL and who HAS TO. And usually the person who WILL is the person who most wants the divorce. There is no right or wrong standard, just what is negotiated privately or legally.

I live in a no fault state and it's basically as Mel described. I filed for divorce 4 years ago after 1 1/2 years trying to reconcile and NC since then. He's spent the 5 1/2 years since he left with MOW "partying", not working, and stalling the divorce and property settlement. I'm sending him money (court ordered) every two weeks as pre-payment to buy him out of our business.

His attorney wants me to pay both her attorney's fees and spousal support because my income is higher. He bears the majority of the fault, IMHO, and has chosen not to work. Who should pay his attorney's fees?

I go to court tomorrow. His lawyer is going to ask for a continuance because she can't reach him, he won't return her calls, he hasn't paid her, and she wants to be off the case. Same story for 4 years, but if she hangs in, the judge might force me to pay her...