Today is 5 weeks since my D-Day and I've gladly realized I'm not so sad anymore and we're truly on the recovery road. So, I thought I'd start this thread vs. my profoundly sad that a lot of my new friends have been posting to. I am very thankful to this board and the big part it has played in me getting to this point!

(((March)))

Thanks Drex...right back at you. I saw a post you wrote on filling the hole re: your return to church. I'm so happy to report my FWH went to worship service and sunday school yesterday for the first time in months. It was pretty hard on him...you know Baptist preachers always have to mention adultery/coveting/etc....but he actually went down to the altar to pray of his own free will. It means the world to me to see him getting his life back on track spiritually.

What did you say to him to encourage him to go back to church and convince him that God's forgiveness is unconditional? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Right after D-day he went through a time needing assurance of some things he already knew re: God and forgiveness. He's spent most of his life in church till this all started 6 years ago. I didn't realize why he wouldn't get involved anymore. He used med school/studying/long work hours as an excuse. I wish I'd gotten to the heart of it sooner. Yesterday was actually the first time he could go to church. I just simply asked him on Saturday if he was going and he said yes. I think God has a hold of him.

Drex...on my other post you said you were "cornfuzzed" for confused...are you from the South? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I grew up in Arkansas. Lived 10 years in Texas, 9 of those in San Antonio. WW was 7 when she moved to Alabama with her family where she grew up. So, yeah, I guess you could say I'm from the South. I live in SC currently, but it's a different kind of south from what I grew up in. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi March, I'm glad to hear you're on the upswing of the roller coaster. ;-) I've had a pretty wild ride over the last few days, but today was okay.

The wedding was allright. We were late which I think helped me to be distracted. There was sadness, but also good friends and laughter. I kept myself busy helping at the reception.

Of course though, there's usually something brewing and I blew up that night b/c my H forgot the bread w/our take out dinner. I was so darn mad it was ridiculous! I almost walked out on him w/o my shoes! LOL! He was saying, "It's just bread" and I'm thinking "Heck no, it's NOT just bread." We talked it out and had a pleasant evening.

Today was good, we talked about my EN's and protecting our weaknesses. We've been reading CheatedOn and IamSosorry's threads; it generates some good discussions for us.

It's funny how similar our experiences are. When we went to church for the first time after d-day (Easter Sunday) I asked my H how communion was for him and he said it was the first time he had taken it w/a clear conscience in years. Years! I was a little stunned, but not really surprised if that makes sense. Since then he has been reading and praying and even changed the music he listens to. He has also struggled w/God's grace over the 13 yrs he's been a Christian.

As you and I have said, it stinks that something so devastating had to happen to get us back on track, but I just have to remember that all this pain pales in comparison to our reward in heaven!

What have you found the most helpful during this time? Have you read any good books, bible verses, songs, etc.?

Happy to hear that things are getting better for you M27.

May I just say that I find it AMAZING that you seem to be doing so well (relatively speaking) after a mere 5 weeks. And I certainly don't want to put a damper on your good spirits but please do make sure you're not rushing yourself to get better TOO fast. 5 weeks is a very short time to be already on the road to recovery. Obviously it's good you're making such fast progress ... just don't push yourself too hard ok.

Hey Drexxell, SC is the only kind of south I know. It's why I say wrestlin, runnin, riddin, and all those other southern words that turn ing into in sounds. It's where I was born and raised.

Drex... I spent most of my formative years in Arkansas! Your cornfuzzed gave you away!
AskMe..I thought it was spelled wrastlin!

I was wondering how the wedding went. Glad you survived. I understand the bread thing. A few weeks ago we went out and when I discovered he left my doggy bag at the restaurant I thought I'd go postal.
I'm so proud of your H's positive changes. I know this will all be worth it.
As for what I'm doing, IDK if I have any thing great to add...I've just now gotten to where I can focus on things again. Praise music is helpful. Rather than intense bible reading, I have a bible promises book with verses grouped by topic that has been good. I think my best medicine has been my kids, reading this board and starting to get out into the world again. My B-day is this week. I'm anxious to see how that hits me...

L77... I understand what you are saying. I know it's fast but I have a few thoughts on that. One, that is totally my personality. I've hardly ever let the sun set on my anger towards anyone. I'm not a grudge holder and get over stuff fast. I'm a glass half-full, look at that bright side, look at the big picture, look at the end result kind of gal. Also with two little ones and a H that works 80 hours a week and almost everything on me, I can't wallow too much. I don't think I'm skipping stages or shelving things too fast. You have to do what you have to do. Also my H has come clean, done the right things. We really had a very positive marriage overall before so that helps. Also with his problem being due to SA there are somethings that make it easier to accept if that's possible. There was not any long-term bond with anyone. Heck, he didn't even know 3 of the 4's real names. Luckily, they didn't know his either. Last but not least, I've truly been so carried by the Lord. Hope this isn't too rambling. Thanks for your support and concern.

We finally got to go to our first session with someone and it went great. While my H and I already felt strongly about the sexual addiction problem, some of the information we were given definitely provided us with light bulb moments. When we got home he immediately started researching our health benefits and looking into Celebrate Recovery so I was very excited. He has been the classic case of someone who was sexually abused as a child saying I don't think about it, it doesn't bother me. To see him truly realize how it did in fact effect him is in someways heartbreaking and in other ways exhilirating b/c I know that is a great part of the battle and truly dealing with this is what will allow our marriage to survive.

I'm glad you had a good counseling session. It is good to know he is able to realize the effect and impact the abuse has had on his life. Just realizing that impact will be of great importance in overcoming the addiction he has been battling. God bless you both in your journey ahead.

Thanks so much for all your support and encouragement. I've been telling him about you. Are you doing okay???

I'm doing great considering all things in life. There have been books I have read before in my early years and I thought what an amazing testimony. They struggled through those hard parts of life and made it through. Heck, those people had it easy. They need come to my house for a while. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I wish I had time to list out all the things that keep happening. The people at work tell me I have a black cloud that follows me around. They just wonder why it hasn't caused a solar eclipse yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

You know your husband is also welcome to ask me anything anytime he wants to as well. And I have a book I could send him that was written by my pastor/mentor, which might help with his struggle. If you are interested, just let me know.

Like I told you in the email it makes me think of Job.

A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

I'll let my H know...

Out of PSALMS 68 I always find comfort in these verses, since I never had a father growing up. In fact I was about 7 years old when it really hit me hard that everyone else had a dad, but my mother didn't even have the same name as I did, because she had been remarried and divorced again.

But let the godly rejoice.
Let them be glad in God's presence.
Let them be filled with joy.
Sing praises to God and to his name!
Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds.
His name is the LORD--
rejoice in his presence!
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows--
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.

That is a wonderful passage for you to claim. Psalm 23 has always been one of my favorite Psalms. A Psalm that means a lot to me right now is 32:7...You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. I know there are those that very much question when someone is at the point I appear to be at so quickly but I have just felt so protected and surrounded by God's grace.

Where ya been? It's kinda like missing my soaps not seeing poasts from you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> (Just kidding, I don't watch soaps.)