Yesterday it was 2 years since my W had moved out and all our stuff happened. We have come along quite well in counseling. Last night I mentioned to her that there were more things I needed to know, it ended in an arguement and she went downstairs, later I came down and just hugged her and started crying on her shoulder, she did the same.

We talked a bit and I blurted out I forgive you. I wanted to say it again, my mouth opened and it took a few seconds for the words to come out. I know it came from my heart because I started crying like I haven't in a long time and I'm not one to cry easily. That crying wasn't because I was sad, it was from the tremendous releaf of letting it out and letting go of the weight I was carrying.

She told me that I will never know what that meant to her.

After standing there for a while holding each other, we went to bed. I think I found out what it really means or what it really feels like when a husband and wife make true love, how different it is when your heart is totally in it.

I just felt I needed to share this to let you know how far we've come and to incourage new people on MB and to let the vets know that they have helped out so much.

Have you ever wondered how good it must feel to know that you have said just a few words to someone and later found out those few words changed someone's life for the better?

I strongly believe that I would not be here and I wouldn't have a marriage right now if God hadn't been involved. I ignored Him for too long and that's when things weren't getting better in my life. Since my wife W and I included God in our lives, things have been getting much better.

Like the verse says:
He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without Him, I am nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13).

I also thank God for bringing the counselor into our lives that He did. He has been such a great help and through him our future looks so much brighter. When I first went to him in early December, I was at a loss, I told myself if this didn't work, I would quit my marriage. I cannot remember the last time I felt such happyness like I do now.

I'm not totally leaving MB but will devote the energy on other things in life. I'm writing the last page of a book that I never want to open again and will burn it once it's complete.

Good luck to all and May God bless you and your marriages and I hope and wish that everyone could atleast get to the point where I am at now.

Just remember that if you are the BS and have endured such pain in your life, God will smile upon you and richly bless you when you can forgive from the heart. No one on this earth deserves to be forgiven for their sins but what would this world be without forgiveness.

There will always be hardships in this world but the rewards waiting in heaven for us are priceless.

Like the song says, "Just a few more weary days and then I'll fly away, to a land where joy will never end, I'll fly away"

I'll Fly Away by Jars of Clay.


Take care of yourselves and each other.

BD,

This is great news. I am so glad to hear this. Good luck and God Bless!

beatndown - explaining that sort of forgiveness is not easy to do, but congratulations for finding it!

Just by way of curiousity, which translation did you use? The quote of Php 4:13 sounded much like a paraphrase and not a direct translation of my favorite recovery verse.

God bless, and may He continue His work of healing in your marriage.

FH,

The quote was a paraphrase I guess, I took that off an e-mail I got today.

One thing though, now that I have forgiven her, should I just drop it or do I have the right to know more details?

I feel we can still talk about it, I just can never use it against her or throw it in her face, not that I would anyways but W thinks we don't need to talk about it anymore.