my husband admitted to me about an emotional affair he has had with a woman he works with.he says he never did anything physically with her.my heart is breaking and i just want to know what to do.

eajake,

I'm so sorry for your pain. Welcome to Marriage Builders.

Here is a good place to start.

WAT's Quick Start Guidelines for Betrayed Spouses

The best thing you can do right now to study and read before you take any action. It is best to make informed decisions.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a great place to be under the circumstances.

It is unusual for them to admit an affair. Usually they hide it and lie about it for months. So that is in your favor.

Are you able to sleep and eat?

thanks frozen i needed that.it gives me hope and a new sense of direction.i love my husband and i know he loves me and i want to make things better with my husband not worse.yesterday there was so much tension at home i wanted to cry.felt like i was losing my mind.you see i just found all this out sunday evening.we talked and i cried like a baby.we talked yesterday after the tension broke and i felt relief.i am so glad you understand.

believer i am having a hard time eating and have had a hard time sleeping.i think him revealing all this to me gives us the chance of working on it together.i am remaining hopeful.

How was your marriage before all of this happened?

eajake,

For your WH -

Tools For the Wayward Spouse

believer my marriage was going pretty well before all this was revealed to me from my husband.he loves me and wants me he just can't figure out why he'd be interested in someone else.i told him the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

EA, get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr. Willard Harley and study it from cover to cover. If I read your words correctly, your husband understands he did something wrong and appears to be repentant. Under those circumstances, you have an excellent chance of making your marriage a stronger one than it was before his affair. SAA will help you and your husband formulate a plan for that. Another thing that can help you is to make an appointment for a telephone counseling with Steve Harley. You and your husband would benefit enormously from a simple counseling session with him.

Another book that may be of use is Not “Just Friends” by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. Among other things, the book discusses workplace affairs and how to avoid them.

Eajake3,

I’m so sorry for you pain… <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> You have found the right place under the circumstances and there are many good and caring people on these boards who have been in your shoes and who will be able to assist you with advice; guidance and support.

I believe there is much hope for you M. I’m glad your H’s A stopped before it could progress to a PA. An EA is already very difficult to cope with and a combined EA/PA would be much more damaging and more difficult to cope with for both you and your H. I’m also glad your H decided to come clean with you and tell you about his past EA before you could find out in another way or from someone else. The fact that your H did this (told you), is a clear sign that your H is remorseful; want to work on this M and change his ways and the wrong choices he has made. However – you; your H and this M won’t be able to fully recover while your H is still in contact with the OW - sees her and works with her every day. He need to get another job ASAP.

Most EA’s start off as friendships and especially opposite se friendships in the workplace amongst people who are working together and sees each other ever day, is a breeding place for potential EA’s. The following 2 threads will give you much insight – you can also share it with your H:

Emotional infidelity in the workplace

15 Steps Of Unfaithfulness

Take care and blessings.