This is the situation, my husband has 2 drinking buddies that hound him constanly every week, one of them twice a week to go over to their house and drink.... guys only. One of them, is a working alcoholic, at one point at my own house he patted my oldest teenager behind while making a suggestive comment that she didnt hear, but others did. I found out about it later, I confronted him with it, he apologized, later I found out more comments that were made by him on that day that made me very determined to end this friendship. This man apologized to my husband, he said that when he drinks he does stupid things and begged for my husband's forgiveness, my husband forgave him because as he put it its the Christian thing to do, but also because I know that he likes to hang out with this guy, he does like his company, this man also enjoys getting high while taking shots and drinking beer. For my part I dont ever want to be a close friend to him, but I forgive him and can be -friendly- to him in public, mostly because of his wife who has to live with him. She in turn since her husband likes to go without her to see his drinking buddies (my husband one of them and another guy)decided to live a life of her own as well, she likes to go out to bars, girls only, lots of girls night out and beach trips without the husband. I have gotten several invitations from her to do the same, but I have turn them down. My husband wants me to keep the friendship because they are neighbors that we are going to run into them while at other neighbor's houses, so for him I'm doing the friendly thing, although my husband tells me I'm dead wrong by being this way, that I should be a good Christian and forgive, I did forgive the man, I just dont want to be part of their inner circle, its that so wrong? I think my husband may not mind if I made a bigger effort and became best friends with his wife so he can be best friends with the husband. The other character is a man that although he has 3 children from the person he lives with, he refuses to marry her, he treats her like trash in public, he makes it very uncomfortable for people to be around them because of the hostility and the way he treats her, I can only imagine how he treats her when we are not around, buy my understanding based on her own words its pretty bad. She had a child from a prior relationship that is now 15, this girl has lived with her mom and this character since she was 4 years old, but has been treated like a second class citizen by him since he only cares about the 3 that are his blood, its very obvious who he wants around, and its not this poor 15 year old that grew up feeling rejected by this man. They got into a big fight recently and he kicked her out, so her mother had to take her to live with the child's father who lives with his parents because he is a crack addict. This man seems to have no conciense, all he wanted was for her to go away... and she did. Because of the mess he has at the home front, due to his own creation, he gets very lonely and constantly calls on my husband, twice a week, to go over to his house to drink, at the beginning that was the case but I put my foot down, now is a bit less, but he wont stop calling. My problem is that my husband also likes this guy, he says that his problem at home shouldnt affect his friendship with him, that he is been nothing but a good friend and that how is that his problems at home affect me? Well, number one he doesnt understand that perhaps on the weekends I would like some family time, or perhaps make some plans with my husband, he leaches every time my husband has on the weekend so he can go over and -play-. My husband sometimes gives him an excuse as to why he cant but he doesnt get the message. My husband also told me that he doesnt know how to stop this, that for him to tell him that the reason is because I dont like it, would be humilliating to him due to the fact that this man could not comprehend what to be a good husband is, while my husband is making the effort to please me. He likes this guy as well and dont want to loose the friendship, but he likes less our fights about it. I would like to say though that my husband is nothing like the other two, he is a good father to my children and he tries to be a good husband. But he loves to hang out with these two characters, so we fight constantly about it. Recently he said -I won" and is gonna try to end the -regular basis- situation with the latter guys, but I know he resents me for this. Please someone tell me I am wrong!! AM I?
