<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Dear Pep:

Duly noted. Thank you for your concern. We know your concern here is US and such concern is not critical, but supportive. Rest assured we ain't on the Titanic. We remain the unsinkable "stary eyed" Wonderings. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yesterday, when Mrs. W told you she "got it", she really did. We are not in the habit of reaching out so far to "help" someone but felt somehow compelled to do so. The sequel of the story was much more dramatic than the prequel. We both got ya' now. Mrs. W, with my participation and support, was perhaps instrumental in affecting change in just a few short hours. The dramatic "butterfly effect" of that change is fully yet to be seen and is merely a cursory interest of ours. Our relationship, and it's enhancement via our MB activities IS, in fact, the primary reason we are here.

We are incredibly conscious of our own situation. The helping of others herein has been a distraction from our own problems, at times, however, in doing so we have become much more adept and knowledgable at handling and addressing our own issues as they arise. With time, the problems have become much more manageable. Recovery, the process versus the event. We surmise that as a team here we have discovered that our own backporch was not quite as dusty as originally perceived. The team dynamic we have developed here has remarkably spilled over into all the aspects of our lives. Simply, we make a great team.

This last situation may have been a reach. We also went a little nuts helping Good Father last week. It can be emotionally taxing. But Mrs. W and I are extremely extraverted and sharing ourselves with others is who we are and it is making/has made US feel a whole lot better about US.

BTW, we do intend to dramitically cut down our time here in the near future. Our one year d-day anniversary has already past and our 1 year registration date is fast approaching. I have long considered the upcoming date as our "service period" to MB as payback/gratitude for all we have been blessed with from the Harleys and the fine people here. We will be addressing this in short order.

Again, sincerely appreciate your candid concern and ask that you always share your perceptions. We WILL take stock of this as there will always be many things we have yet to learn. Fortunately for us, we get to do it, together.

Mr. Wondering

Yep Pep...everything Mr. W said...


AND...


Hopefully our silence on that thread paints a pretty vivid picture of just how fully concious we are of us, and also of what we see that is beyond us...


Dearest Pep, please rest assured...We see on many, many levels...even more than we are expressing here...


Thank you so much our dear friend for caring enough to say what you have to us...we get it...


Gratefully,

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I was also mindful of a couple other friends who spend more time fixing others than tending to their newly recovering M ... so it is not just you

so I edited the title accordingly

Pep, have you done gone an' bar'red KiwiJ's big ole wavin' stick? Uh oh...I's a duckin'...Hey, Mr. W hunny...GUARD YER NIBBLETS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Missus Dubya <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

This is actually a very good topic and not one to be taken lightly!

When we were in the heavy duty tough lifting of marital recovery, I seldom touched the computer when my dear hubby was home.

It was so very important to spend that time together talking , discovering new hobbies together and enjoying each other.

The computer is an addictive distraction that tunes your spouse out.

Thanks Pep. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Very Astute!
But then again, I've always known that you're the truth queen here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
That's why your posts are always short and to the point! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
All Blessings,
J

Dang it!

When am I ever going to grow up?

When I am going to be able to stop learning so much from Pep and Susan?

When are they going to stop saying just what I need to hear?

I came on to post just how ADDICTIVE (says Susan) the computer is and how I have to literally STOP myself from posting when my H is home....

I LOVE YOU GUYS...YOU ARE SO WISE!.

You have helped me SOOOO much...

Do you know that? I hope so...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

BTW...Been eating the "CORE" FOODS to lose the pounds I gained during my vacation....YUCK

wonderful Mimi

I agree with Susan. It shouldn't be taken lightly... it is serious business.

While I was trying to save my first marriage, I made so many mistakes. One of the biggies had to do with the computer, which should have been thrown out the window, but I digress...

I was so addicted to all-things internet... that I would get up in the middle of the night to check my websites and email... it's embarrassing.

Addictive personalities should especially beware! I should know... and I do... it's so easy to "trade" one addiction for another...

I go in fits and starts on the 'net now, (am I in a fit, or a start? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />) but I will never leave our bed to turn on the computer... and I generally do not hang out here while my H is home, unless he just has to watch the WWE <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> and then I make sure he's okay with me being here before I log on.

This really is important stuff...

I too have to check myself. I am on the computer all the time now that I have found MB. I sometimes think that I need to stop, but I can't. HELP! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> My husband is home right now recovering from surgery. Luckily he is asleep right now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> I am definatley going to stop and think about what I am missing when I am on here all the time. Even my kids say "Mommy how long are you going to be on the computer?" Thanks Pep for the wake up call. I am going to go wake him up and see if he wants or needs anything and give him lot's of love. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> Bye for now.

Oooo...Oooo...I get it, I get it...I agree...I'm off right now to meet Mr. W's EN for domestic support...then a really good shower....

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /><----donning rubber gloves and a head scarf...not tellin' ya'll what I'll be donning later <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Hey, and don't forget... while HE is off of the computer, HE can help you with those domestic tasks! And you will luv him so much more!

Oh Lard! Thank goodness computers were not around when my kids were small before 1969.

<-----------bwaaaaaaaaaah!

Which QUEEN would this be referring to? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I had to stop helping people because it was flagrantly destructive of my own situation back around september last year.

I'll help again some time though I'm sure.

Me too, to a degree, Bob. I would get way too caught up in the situations of others.

I think this is probably a good lesson for everyone here; I know that I would do well to heed this warning at times when this forum takes me away from spending time with my DH. I also get way too caught up here sometimes, so I am careful where I get involved.

I will say that I have been amazed at how Mr and Mrs W have used this program and this forum to share and learn from others and in doing so, have actually grown closer.

Being active here seems to have bonded them in a way that is very productive. I have watched them use their love of Marriage Builders and helping others as a shared activity, which has helped them grow closer together, not farther apart.

I think we are all aware, as they seem to be, that it could go the other way if not carefully monitored. I know it could for me and I am sure it could for them too.

Nah...that's woman's work.

Mr. W <-----totally kiddin'.