I am 31, wife is 28.

I have a quick question, A LOT of times during sex i go "soft" or cannot keep an erection. It is almost like i have to hurry towards orgasm to prevent this.

It is not so bad if i take a few days off between sessions, but if we try to do it everyday for a few days, it seems to happen.

What is weird is i can get aroused, but when we start sex, i lose it. My wife is a larger individual, plus 8 years of marriage and 2 kids....it does seem pretty "loose." Maybe this is the problem?? I have told her to work on holding when she has to go pee (kegel) but she says she can't.

Do u think i need viagara?? Would this help?? The penis is such a fickle thing isn't it?

Do you suspect your wife of having an affair? Did you have an affair and now want to repair the damage to your marriage? If either of these is the case then there are people here who can help you if you give more specifics about your situation. If your only concern is ED then there are other resources on the net as well as your doctor who would be able to much more effectively address that problem.
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no affairs on either side.....thank goodness!!!

There are all kinds of reasons for ED. Sometimes psychological reasons can be a factor. If there is something stressing or bothering you it can certainly have an effect. If you are on certain medications, such as blood pressure medication or certain anti-depressants that can cause a problem.

A urologist can provide answers if you are unsure where to start. They can also prescribe viagra if that is the answer.

Whatever you do, do NOT wait around and hope the problem eventually goes away, or make excuses to your W about why it's happening. I did that (I started experiencing the problem you're talking about around your age (if not earlier <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />)), and it significantly damaged our relationship.

I suggest going to your MD and get yourself checked up. Mine did some tests and I'm now "on the pill". Huge difference, in more ways than one <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

just curious... if there is no affair on either side... what brings you to the MB website?

As far as your ED goes... there are things you might want to try prior to taking any medication. Get a physical and try doing things to improve your sex life. Viagra most likely would cure your problem... but that doesn't mean that you need it. It sounds as though you are not attracted to your wife very much these days. there are all sorts of games and things that you can do to make sex more mentally and physically stimulating again. Maybe the first and best things for you to do would be to start exercising (after you see your doctor if you are over 40) together... and delay gratification.... which basically means that pick a week and know that tonight you can kiss, no more... tomorrow you can kiss and touch a little, no more, no orgasms, third day a bit more and so on until day 7 when you are to have sex without restriction... it's just a way to rekindle things. I gave you a very short version... you can read more about this approach online.
Good luck.