Hi everyone,

I was on the verge on divorce and now my husband and I are going to marriage counseling and we have been going for the past 6 weeks. He still has the apartment, but had been spending a lot of time at the house and sleeping over occassionally. Things I felt were going well. Check his cell phone records and no contact for the past month and a half by calls. He did get a text message from her asking about how he is doing and is he back in the house yet. He said no, but was spending a lot of time with children. Things were going OK.

This past Saturday I just felt something was off. Just a weird feeling so I checked his cell phone and he got a message from her and responded back - "hope you have a great time" - no clue on what she wrote.

On Monday checked again and she texted him did you text me? There was no response from him. We had a good time Monday night went out with the children - no real signs.

Tuesday, he came over from work early and brought some beer - thought that was strange. He started drinking and that was unusual, but let it go. All he kept doing was staring at me which I thought was werid. He ended up drinking quite a few and then stayed over - just something felt really off.

So today I checked his message and he sent her one saying call me. What is that all about?

I guess I am ao tired and worn out over the whole and not really sure how to deal with it. I have dealt with her for the past year and we were supposed to working on our marriage with out her and yet she is still lurking. I know I cannot blame her completely because he is giving her an in.

I have a therapy session tonight so I will bring it up that I feel like something is off and bring up his activity from last night and maybe the therapist can get him to open up. The problem is I know if I say I know he contacted her it will be how did you find out - now you are spying again - see I cannot trust you and it will blow up in my face - yet again.

Sorry I am in pain - yet again - I am just so tired and part of me just wants to walk out on this and move on, but there is a part of me that does not.

I just do not get why they cannot leave the OP alone, don't they realize how much they hurt their spouse. Who knows maybe the therapist can get him to be honest? If not we are right back to where we were is the beginning him lying to me and having secrets.

Thanks for listening.

Personally, I would let him know that I checked his messages, and you know he is still having contact. MC is a waste of money if the OW is still hanging around.

When he blows up, tell him that it is necessary for you to spy because he is deceiving you.

How did your session go. If you don't want to reveal your source, just let him know something stink is in the air and he doesn't smell right....then ask him why. See what he says. Usually that is such different tactic that it throws them off and that's what u want t/d. Keep the WS off balanced.

I did that, had the WS wondering for weeks why he stunk. LOL!!!

L.